Is it alright of your partner cheats on you...

[Little_Kitten]

... with someone of the same sex??

it's just a fun lil' question i've been thinking about lately... Girl on girl sex seems to be pistured as hot... Would it be alright if your girlfriend cheated on you with another girl?

And the same for girls, would it be alright for you if your boyfriend cheated on you with another guy?

Would you be less jalous or hurt?

Just a lil innocent question

 

[myinnerslut]

no. cheating is cheating.

 

[FurryFury]

... with someone of the same sex??

it's just a fun lil' question i've been thinking about lately... Girl on girl sex seems to be pistured as hot... Would it be alright if your girlfriend cheated on you with another girl?

And the same for girls, would it be alright for you if your boyfriend cheated on you with another guy?

Would you be less jalous or hurt?

Just a lil innocent question

Depends, if it was cheating then NO!

Fury

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i agree...cheating is cheating regardless of the gender of the person they are cheating with i would feel the same hurt and betrayal as if they had cheated with the opposite sex

 

[Netzach]

I don't think it's better or worse than opposite-sex infidelity.

But I don't think that infidelity is nearly the huge problem that a lot of people think it is - there are worse things, even in relationships. I don't give anyone a reason to cheat or a reason to hide anything, so for me cheating is more "stupid" than "a betrayal."

Some people have a very tight set of constraints and conditions under which they will love someone and if that person changes, but still wants to be with them they can either cheat, deny the changes and go crazy, or pretend to be what they're not and go on as if. I don't think that's viable.

 

[Shankara20]

If the relationship allows for other partners and safe sex rules are established and followed - then it is not "cheating"

Cheating implies to me that rules are broken - and that is a problem for me.

 

[FurryFury]

I wouldn't mind him fucking someone else so much (girl or guy) if we had agreed on it and preferably if I was in the mix. It would worry me and scare me but I could live with it.

Even if he did cheat I could deal with it eventually but the loss of trust would be hardest for me. At least that is what I think not having dealt with it so far.

Fury

 

[incubus'_sub]

I'm with Netz on this one. Gender makes no difference, nor is it cheating if there's sexual activity outside the relationship when it's not hidden.

Actually, sexual activity (as long as it's safe sex) means fun to us, not danger or infidelity or betrayal. That stuff only comes into it when there's love involved. We play, together or apart. We love each other, but we have fun with others too & enjoy the retelling of the experience together later.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Not being of the swinging persuation, I'm not into "casual" sexual activity. For me, sex is part of an intimate relationship. Being poly-capable, however, I have no objections to my partner(s) having relationships other than one with me. I do not demand exclusivity, but I do expect selectivity! *grin*

That being said, if someone I put my trust in were to betray that trust by cheating on me, the gender of who they betray me with is irrelevant. Open, honest, relationships are good and healthy. Lying, cheating, secretive, guilt producing ones are not.

I want healthy relationships with my partner(s). 'Nuff said!

 

[Etoile]

This comes up a LOT on the GLBT board. (Not sure what it's doing over here, hah!) I'll say the same thing here that I say there: Same-sex cheating is still cheating. How you define cheating is up to you and your partner, but it doesn't get "excused" because it's with someone of the same sex.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

This comes up a LOT on the GLBT board. (Not sure what it's doing over here, hah!) I'll say the same thing here that I say there: Same-sex cheating is still cheating. How you define cheating is up to you and your partner, but it doesn't get "excused" because it's with someone of the same sex.

*gives Etoile a ^5* Amen girlfriend! *grin*

 

[insertcutename]

no. cheating is cheating.

I agree

 

[catalina_francisco]

No, it is still cheating, dishonest, and means there has been a breach of trust...many a person in a hetero relationship has been left for a same sex partner...doesn't make it less painful.

Catalina

 

[submissiveknight]

True cheating is cheating! On the otherhand if my Mistress wants to be with another woman She knows that it is alright with me, I wouldn't be allowed in the mix per say! I could join as long as I don't touch the other woman. Now if She asked me to kneel before another man for Her pleasure that is all in part of my servitude to Her! Before We started our D/s lifestyle We discussed coming across these situations. Although they were presented a little different then! This is pretty much the way they are viewed now.

 

[robincr]

deleted

 

[neonflux]

I am bi - probably as close to 50%/50% as you can get although I go back and forth in terms of which gender I seem to have the strongest emotional attachments to at any given time. Since my mid-20's have been monogamous EDITED TO ADD, first with a man (7 years) then with a woman (14). But I always felt <--- end edit|| like I'd cut off a part of myself to do so. When I started dating again at age 48, decided that anyone I became serious with would have to accept that I'd also want a serious relationship with someone of (one of the) opposite genders...

But I won't lie about it - as others have suggested, that would be cheating.

It's not cheating when it's part of the agreement and everything is out in the open.

Interesting though, along the lines of your question... When my primary and I got back together, he became less comfortable with my being with another man than he'd been before, I suspect because his commitment deepened (accepted as "penance" that I would continue to see my kink partner for now).

However, he has never had any difficulty with the idea of my also having a woman lover - he's wonderful about it, too. Understands that this would be my relationship, instead of viewing it as a way to live out that WWF "having sex with 2 lesbian" fantasies so common to straight porn.

I think that it never hurts to have a discussion.

Neon

... with someone of the same sex??

it's just a fun lil' question i've been thinking about lately... Girl on girl sex seems to be pistured as hot... Would it be alright if your girlfriend cheated on you with another girl?

And the same for girls, would it be alright for you if your boyfriend cheated on you with another guy?

Would you be less jalous or hurt?

Just a lil innocent question

 

[Shankara20]

However, he has never had any difficulty with the idea of my also having a woman lover - he's wonderful about it, too. Understands that this would be my relationship, instead of viewing it as a way to live out that WWF "having sex with 2 lesbian" fantasies so common to straight porn.

I think that it never hurts to have a discussion.

Neon

This brings to mind my belief that some people have difficulties with bi's because they just can't see how a bi-sexual can be monogamous. If you want "both" how in the world can you stay true to just "one"? As an insecure partner of someone, I might think I can overcome the threat of competition for a person of my own gender. But how would I overcome the competition of some other gender, I do not have the plumbing to use to keep my lover.

I think fear of competition and loss is a past of the gender jealousy issue..
I may not have stated that very will and will try to sort it out if asked.

Thanks.

 

[neonflux]

This brings to mind my belief that some people have difficulties with bi's because they just can't see how a bi-sexual can be monogamous. If you want "both" how in the world can you stay true to just "one"? As an insecure partner of someone, I might think I can overcome the threat of competition for a person of my own gender. But how would I overcome the competition of some other gender, I do not have the plumbing to use to keep my lover.

I think fear of competition and loss is a past of the gender jealousy issue..
I may not have stated that very will and will try to sort it out if asked.

Thanks.

I agree with you on both observations. Re: bi's not being monogamous, it's that stereotype that I tried to live down by being with only one person all of those years. I can be monogamous; I chose not to be at this point in my life. Re: insecurity, I am certain that the heart is wider than we are taught to believe... If allowed freely, my loving another does not take away from my ability to "love you;" it may actually enhance my ability to do so. (I know that sounds counter-intuitive.)

 

[FurryFury]

That's why I told my daughter that if she is Bi and makes a decision to get into a monogamist relationship with someone she will really have to think hard about that commitment before hand but once she makes that decision I believe it will be MORE reliable than someone that doesn't consider both sexes while making such a pledge.

Fury

 

[Betticus]

No.

Cheating is not okay.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don´t know, I think bi, straight, or gay, it is a matter of commitment, not needing to partake of various partners because it is unavoidable. I am bi and find both men and women attractive, but once I commit to someone, I am not interested in looking around for anyone else, male or female. It was one of the reasons F found it amusing and easier to share me with another man, knowing that I was not interested in other men, nor did I long for it, want it, or see it as a way to have my cake and eat it too. For me, just because I am bi does not mean I have any more difficulty being faithful than if I were straight....it is a matter of boundaries for me...once committed, I tend to turn off the radar for other sexual or romantic partners so it doesn´t even become an issue. LOL, sheeesh, I even have issues when he tells me to talk to other prospective play partners for us online...it just doesn´t feel right to me so they soon find out they are not going to get me interested in them in any other way than to fulfil his requirements for play.

Catalina

 

[nymphee]

It's different for everyone, but for me? Never.

He's my world and I expect to be his, if there's room for someone else he doesn't want me badly enough. Trust is everything BDSM and cheating is one of the worst kinds of betrayal.

 

[Netzach]

I am bisexual and have no capability ever again of promising sexual exclusivity to one person or along the lines of one gender. I refuse to do that to myself or to anyone else.

I may want to fuck a man, a woman, or a pre-op TG or androgyne - I will want to fuck someone else. Do not even consider me if that's not something you can live with.

I can have this tattooed on my ass and STILL most women will think I'm kidding or choose to ignore it, what the hell?

 

[Shankara20]

I don´t know, I think bi, straight, or gay, it is a matter of commitment, not needing to partake of various partners because it is unavoidable. I am bi and find both men and women attractive, but once I commit to someone, I am not interested in looking around for anyone else, male or female.......

Catalina

I agree for myself as well, and I know many bi's who are the same. I think once someone is out as bi some others question their ability to commit without a basis for the doubt.

 

[FurryFury]

I am bisexual and have no capability ever again of promising sexual exclusivity to one person or along the lines of one gender. I refuse to do that to myself or to anyone else.

I may want to fuck a man, a woman, or a pre-op TG or androgyne - I will want to fuck someone else. Do not even consider me if that's not something you can live with.

I can have this tattooed on my ass and STILL most women will think I'm kidding or choose to ignore it, what the hell?

As long as the folks that you are in a relationship with know that up front, it's not cheating IMO.

Fury