Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

[caller.]

This is a question that intrigues me, personally i think it is.
How else would you expect to get total trust in any relationship without first opening up all your hopes, dreams and fears.
What if your partner was having an affair either online or in rl, would you really want to know the truth?
I would really like to know what people think.

 

[mbb308]

Ask my last former g/f what I do when you lie to me about the same crap over and over. She was awfully shocked when she came home, after getting caught again, to find her crap packed and waiting, and the locks changed.

I guess that she didn't trust me about the "this is the last straw" statement.

 

[eastTNbbw]

This is a question that intrigues me, personally i think it is.
How else would you expect to get total trust in any relationship without first opening up all your hopes, dreams and fears.
What if your partner was having an affair either online or in rl, would you really want to know the truth?
I would really like to know what people think.

This for me is a no brainer. I can handle anything if you are honest with me. It doesn't mean it won't hurt but I can have some respect for you and also the relationship which we may have. I'm wasn't born yesterday and it has been my experience that honesty and communication are the keys to any relationship whether it is family, friend, or intimate.

 

[cindylouwho64]

I don't think that I could be in any relationship or friendship even that wasn't completely honest and open. It's the best policy - if I can't be honest with them, then they can't be honest with me and usually any relationship is headed for trouble once that starts happening.

 

[Batch]

fuck what is the point of lying when you are in an relationship anyways...
liars should be shot
well liars who lie about the important shit
not the other crap where you ask do I look fat?
shit..
nope the other stuff.
are you married?
and they say no
shit like that
where were you last night?
.my car broke down
oh where did you get those hickies?

yeah know?

 

[tonyzee23]

not really good adivce

here is my advise.
be honest with what she can handle, hide what you know she can't.
it's easier to lie but don't if you are just starting out you are just shooting yourself in the foot. if you have been together you shouldn't have to lie. if you do nothing but lie, keep on lying.

i can't give good advice about everything.

 

[Batch]

Re: not really good adivce

here is my advise.
be honest with what she can handle, hide what you know she can't.
it's easier to lie but don't if you are just starting out you are just shooting yourself in the foot. if you have been together you shouldn't have to lie. if you do nothing but lie, keep on lying.

i can't give good advice about everything.

are you serious?
yikes!!!

 

[ShiningEyes]

This is a question that intrigues me, personally i think it is.
How else would you expect to get total trust in any relationship without first opening up all your hopes, dreams and fears.
What if your partner was having an affair either online or in rl, would you really want to know the truth?
I would really like to know what people think.

Honesty is the best policy!!!! That's my opinion. Look at it this way......you tell a little white lie and you have to cover it with another, and then another. Eventually you will forget why you had to lie in the first place and you've already dug yourself 6 inches in the ground. Those you lied to will be pissed at you and decide not to talk to you for a while. The one you care for, well, depending on what the lie was for, may ditch you. The thing with lies are....you know ever what the out come will be and you are stuck with the "what if's"

Personally, it's not worth the effert. I know I could spend my energy doing a lot better things! Tell the truth! No matter what it may be.

As for the affair thing. I would want to know. I don't want a man that doesn't have the balls to tell me he's not happy with me. I don't want a man that is a gutless prick. I would think the same goes for women. Most of the people here I've met at lit are very sexual creatures but all have feelings and emotions that are hurt. Just like everyone else. If I'm not making my man happy, I wanna know about it!!! I wanna know how I can fix it! If he's wanting a 3 sum that's fine. As long as it's consentual and it won't happen unless the 2 of us are there. If he's wanting to experiment with other things....I'm down for that as well! hehe

There's my answer. I would want to know. Another reason being, if we don't talk about it, it will soon boil over to my not being happy. I'd rather be out of a relationship that both of us being pure miserable!

 

[trixiefirecracker]

Re: Re: Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

Honesty is the best policy!!!! That's my opinion. Look at it this way......you tell a little white lie and you have to cover it with another, and then another. Eventually you will forget why you had to lie in the first place and you've already dug yourself 6 inches in the ground. Those you lied to will be pissed at you and decide not to talk to you for a while. The one you care for, well, depending on what the lie was for, may ditch you. The thing with lies are....you know ever what the out come will be and you are stuck with the "what if's"

Personally, it's not worth the effert. I know I could spend my energy doing a lot better things! Tell the truth! No matter what it may be.

As for the affair thing. I would want to know. I don't want a man that doesn't have the balls to tell me he's not happy with me. I don't want a man that is a gutless prick. I would think the same goes for women. Most of the people here I've met at lit are very sexual creatures but all have feelings and emotions that are hurt. Just like everyone else. If I'm not making my man happy, I wanna know about it!!! I wanna know how I can fix it! If he's wanting a 3 sum that's fine. As long as it's consentual and it won't happen unless the 2 of us are there. If he's wanting to experiment with other things....I'm down for that as well! hehe

There's my answer. I would want to know. Another reason being, if we don't talk about it, it will soon boil over to my not being happy. I'd rather be out of a relationship that both of us being pure miserable!

I agree with pretty much all of that....
If my husband was cheating i'd kick hiss ass all over the house....and then kick his ass out!!
*laughing*

 

[Batch]

Re: Re: not really good adivce

are you serious?
yikes!!!

I wish I were as eloquent as the lovely Shining Eyes is at this point in time.....

 

[ShiningEyes]

Re: Re: Re: not really good adivce

I wish I were as eloquent as the lovely Shining Eyes is at this point in time.....

lol me? eloquent?? lol I've had a lot of friends tell me I put too much into things. I guess I'm just very compassionate about things. I put all of myself into things. I suppose that's why I feel things so deeply and fall just as deep and hard!

 

[Batch]

Re: Re: Re: Re: not really good adivce

lol me? eloquent?? lol I've had a lot of friends tell me I put too much into things. I guess I'm just very compassionate about things. I put all of myself into things. I suppose that's why I feel things so deeply and fall just as deep and hard!

me too all passion and fire .....

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

This for me is a no brainer. I can handle anything if you are honest with me. It doesn't mean it won't hurt but I can have some respect for you and also the relationship which we may have. I'm wasn't born yesterday and it has been my experience that honesty and communication are the keys to any relationship whether it is family, friend, or intimate.

EAST SWEETY? YA TOOK the words right outta my mouth..if you are missing ANY of the following 4 aspects in a relationship,you are in for deep shit:Trust,HONESTY, communication..,Respect

 

[carrie-on]

My Gramma always told me "Tell the truth the first time and you won't have to remember what was said!"

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Honesty

Friendships come in all different degrees, and there are a few times a lie might escape, especially in order NOT to hurt a person's feelings.

However, in an intimate partnership, the one thing I insist on is HONESTY!! I tend to be "too" honest at times, but I want the people closest to me to feel they can tell me anything, even if it might not be something I really want to hear.

So, yes, I would want to know if there was cheating going on!

 

[eastTNbbw]

Thanks dream....

EAST SWEETY? YA TOOK the words right outta my mouth..if you are missing ANY of the following 4 aspects in a relationship,you are in for deep shit:Trust,HONESTY, communication..,Respect

Life is just way to short and sometimes too hard to have to play games and always wonder if you really know the truth. And my theory is that when you lie often enough in little matters, it becomes very easy to lie in the more important ones.

 

[tonitits]

This is a question that intrigues me, personally i think it is.
How else would you expect to get total trust in any relationship without first opening up all your hopes, dreams and fears.
What if your partner was having an affair either online or in rl, would you really want to know the truth?
I would really like to know what people think.

If you are in a relationship then you both should be sharing your intimate thoughts and working on being one with each other and in order to be able to do this you have to have trust in each other. If one or both of you are not honest then the relationship is doomed from the very beginning. I think any of us can handle just about anything, if it is the truth, it may hurt, sometimes alot, but it is still better than lying and being dishonest.

 

[MissTaken]

Tell the truth!

Yes, I want to know if my lover has a real life lover or on line lover.

I want the truth.

In telling the truth, you are demonstrating your respect for me and I, in return will respect you.

Of course, if you really do believe in being honest, you may never have taken the on line or real time lover, as you would have told me that you were restless, unhappy, bored or whatever.

Ahhhh, then knowing that there is a problem, I can chose to work on it or not.

So, by lying, you take away my choices.
By lying, you insult me. Don't decide for me what I can handle or not handle well.
In lying, you show your lack of trust and respect for me.

The pain of hearing a harsh truth is far less than the humiliation of discovering a lie.

 

[eastTNbbw]

Tell the truth!

Yes, I want to know if my lover has a real life lover or on line lover.

I want the truth.

In telling the truth, you are demonstrating your respect for me and I, in return will respect you.

Of course, if you really do believe in being honest, you may never have taken the on line or real time lover, as you would have told me that you were restless, unhappy, bored or whatever.

Ahhhh, then knowing that there is a problem, I can chose to work on it or not.

So, by lying, you take away my choices.
By lying, you insult me. Don't decide for me what I can handle or not handle well.
In lying, you show your lack of trust and respect for me.

The pain of hearing a harsh truth is far less than the humiliation of discovering a lie.

WOW MISSTAKEN!!!! I think you said it perfectly!!

 

[caller.]

wowzer....i could not have said better if i was in a heated argument.....well said misstaken

 

[Batch]

the wise Miss

wowzer....i could not have said better if i was in a heated argument.....well said misstaken

 

[Batch]

She is after all a Goddess and knows a great deal...and she talks good too, huh?

 

[LordMagicMan]

Re: Re: Re: Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

I agree with pretty much all of that....
If my husband was cheating i'd kick hiss ass all over the house....and then kick his ass out!!
*laughing*

So then it wouldnt matter if he told you or not? the result would still be the same?

 

[naughtygirl]

Re: Re: Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

This for me is a no brainer. I can handle anything if you are honest with me. It doesn't mean it won't hurt but I can have some respect for you and also the relationship which we may have. I'm wasn't born yesterday and it has been my experience that honesty and communication are the keys to any relationship whether it is family, friend, or intimate.

I completely agree with this and what Miss Taken said about telling the truth; it is a sign that by doing so you are demonstating that you have respect for me. I can handle any truth...how much it may hurt...but I would rather know than deal with a lie. To me that is a far greater pain! I like choices and do not like these taken away from me. It demeaning and insulting to assume that one knows what is best for another; what they can handle and what they cannot.

Very well said Miss Taken and eastTNbbw!

 

[trixiefirecracker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

So then it wouldnt matter if he told you or not? the result would still be the same?

If he told me then it would depend on what had happened, how long it had been going on for etc.....i could forgive a one nighter but anything more than that....nope.