Is having sex with someone while the sleep the same as rape?

[trojan_man_co]

Ok I know ive been gone a while and im sorry but ive been busy…

Ok so here’s my thing. Quite A while back I was with a rather vanilla girl. (I know I know what was I thinking) any way. She truly was Vanilla except for one thing. after dating her a while she confessed she had always had a fantasy of a guy/me having sex with her while she slept. Just not asking and just taking her and using her as he wanted/needed. And the goal being to finish off with her still asleep (so nothing rough) and her to just wake up in the morning after being used like that and finding out. (I know this came out of nowhere cus she really was vanilla trust me I tried every thing and she just wasn’t into it) a few night later I had the chance and did it(dont worry we were both allready quite sexualy active together previously). I actually did it like 5 different nights before she woke up in the middle of one of them. She loved it and helped me finish off. Every morning after she woke up to find it she would be incredibly turned on by it and even made me video tape me doing it so she could watch it. now this all caught me completely off guard so I pushed her further trying to figure out the why of why it turned her on. All the things I could think of were the classics, she wanted to feel used, she wanted the feeling for un-consensual sex, she wanted me to pleasure myself as I wanted ect… and nothing I asked her she seemed interested in. she seemed almost revolted by some of the suggestions. But when it came to this one thing she LOVED it.

So my question is this. What do you think having sex with a sleeping person is? Is it un-consensual? Or a consensual form of rape? Also has any one else experienced this or something similar? Has any one else engaged in sexual activities when another is passed out? (nothing illegal or immoral please)

sorry it was a question i had a while ago i just rememberd...

 

[ltnsfr007]

Boring

 

[Chicklet]

So my question is this. What do you think having sex with a sleeping person is? Is it un-consensual? Or a consensual form of rape? Also has any one else experienced this or something similar? Has any one else engaged in sexual activities when another is passed out? (nothing illegal or immoral please)

Especially in the situation you described, I don't think that this is quite rape. There are levels of non consensuality in it, on many levels, but we encounter those in BDSM quite often. Pre negotiated, it seems perfectly alright.

Now, if she woke up and she wasn't okay with it, it might be rape. But a bottom/partner of yours could always cry rape. A girl can cry rape after jumping you in bed and orgasming seven times. Rape is a tricky thing.

I don't believe it's the same as when someone's passed out. I think that the iffy stuff happens when someone takes advantage of a situation, and in this described scene, it's not taking advantage.

 

[poppy1963]

I don't think I could stay asleep while getting fucked...lol.

I doubt she could either unless she was drugged or something...so I'd call it a fetish role-play...or a rape role-play if that's what floats yous boats.

 

[Netzach]

In the case you outlined, definitely not.

I was in a vanilla rel. in its sort of dysfunctional closing days when I found a rubber in the garbage and discovered I had slept through sex. (This is a comment on my sleeping, not his insensitivity or bad performance - I've had conversations in my sleep before too, and it's entirely likely he thought I was cognizant)

It wasn't fair of me in light of that, but I was really mad. Really really REALLY mad. Not raped, but felt very creepy and crappy about it.

 

[trojan_man_co]

see she was an extreamly deep sleeper. like she wasnt fakeing sleep, no she really was. and she always told me the next day thank you, so i never felt like it was rape, my question was more hypothetical, and if any one else had expirenced this sort of thing ... a consensual free bee as it were when some one was asleep...

 

[poppy1963]

Well for anyone who has had this experience - what's it like? Does the sleeping person's body perform or is it like having sex with someone who (for whatever reason) is completely non-responsive? Does "instinct" take over at all?

Have any women had sex with a sleeping man where they got him to an erection and he stayed asleep?

It's just really hard to imagine sleeping through sex when a partner completes the act to orgasm!

 

[HoHoBomb]

that's called multi-tasking.

 

[TheDivineMsM]

Well for anyone who has had this experience - what's it like? Does the sleeping person's body perform or is it like having sex with someone who (for whatever reason) is completely non-responsive? Does "instinct" take over at all?

Have any women had sex with a sleeping man where they got him to an erection and he stayed asleep?

It's just really hard to imagine sleeping through sex when a partner completes the act to orgasm!

And i woul dlike to add this question:
Did you enjoy it? Or did it feel creepy to you? Like fucking a corpse?

 

[HottieMama]

So my question is this. What do you think having sex with a sleeping person is? Is it un-consensual? Or a consensual form of rape? Also has any one else experienced this or something similar? Has any one else engaged in sexual activities when another is passed out? (nothing illegal or immoral please)

In the situation you described, it was not rape, IMO. She gave consent beforehand when you both discussed it. Had that discussion not occurred it would most certainly be rape IMO. If a girl is sleeping/passed out from substances etc...she CANNOT give consent to any sexual activity, and could press charges for rape/sexual assault when she "came to" and found out what happened.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I guess it comes down to the people involved and the situation, though for my thinking it is not rape. In vanilla days there were many occasions a partner began sex while I was asleep (I usually woke at some point), and I loved it. I also returned the favour.

Catalina

 

[trojan_man_co]

Well for anyone who has had this experience - what's it like? Does the sleeping person's body perform or is it like having sex with someone who (for whatever reason) is completely non-responsive? Does "instinct" take over at all?

Have any women had sex with a sleeping man where they got him to an erection and he stayed asleep?

It's just really hard to imagine sleeping through sex when a partner completes the act to orgasm!

well as of with her, (my only experience) she would become quit wet and would orgasm herself in her sleep often when i would just finger her while sleeping. i would often do this before i did any thing so that she was lubed up. instinct did seem to take over a bit for when i would put gentle pressure on her legs to spread or her body to go one way or another it would gently go. i only would only have sex with her on her back or stomach which ever she was sleeping on at the time. i would add a little bit of lube as well but it usually wasn’t needed. and yes she would orgasm in her sleep. i could tell due to the gentle moaning and quivering body. she really was asleep though i swear to it.



Did you enjoy it? Or did it feel creepy to you? Like fucking a corpse?
-the divine

as to me, it was weird. hot in a way but I couldn’t do itif she hadn’t wanted me to. it was also difficult getting an erection. i mean i just woke up in the middle of the night shes just lying there, so you have to stimulate yourself into it. once you get going though it was ok but i was so scared of waking her and ruining her fantasy that i wouldn’t go fast so it took a while till i could cum... she wasn’t responsive in the way of thrusting back or any thing, you had to do all the work, BUT she did moan and quiver a bit...

the weirdest is when she woke up... i got a little into it and got going to hard and she woke up as i was on top of her. she just asked what i was doing in a sleepy voice. i told her i was having sex with her and then she gradually woke up and really got into it...

 

[trojan_man_co]

I guess it comes down to the people involved and the situation, though for my thinking it is not rape. In vanilla days there were many occasions a partner began sex while I was asleep (I usually woke at some point), and I loved it. I also returned the favour.

Catalina

so it works with guys as well? i mean we can get an erection and be stimulated with out waking? Interesting. Since then i have always wondered what it would be like to wake up with some girl just going at it lol. but i never knew if it was possible the other way...

 

[minx1]

In vanilla days there were many occasions a partner began sex while I was asleep (I usually woke at some point), and I loved it. I also returned the favour.

Catalina

Yeah same here Cat. I love sleepy sex.....slowly coming round and becoming aware whats happening. Delicious.

and I also love waking my partner that way too

 

[RawHumor]

My biggest problem with my partner trying to wake me with sex is that, 99% of the time, the first thing I have to do when I wake up is piss.

 

[HottieMama]

My biggest problem with my partner trying to wake me with sex is that, 99% of the time, the first thing I have to do when I wake up is piss.

Unless of course, she likes watersports...


Sorry...had to...

 

[minx1]

Unless of course, she likes watersports...


Sorry...had to...

*giggles*

 

[RawHumor]

Unless of course, she likes watersports...


Sorry...had to...

Of course.

If only I could find someone like that... or train someone to be like that...

 

[northwoods_sub]

In my experience I had had dreams where I was having sex and getting really into it only to wake up and find my partner on top of me, instant orgasm!
I agree with the previous posters that as long as the act was negotiated before hand it was not rape.

 

[myinnerslut]

A and i have never done that, but i think i would like it. kind of. well, i think i would like to wake up to him fucking me, not sleep through it.

i have woken him up by going down on him, but he usually just cums and goes back to sleep.

 

[poppy1963]

A and i have never done that, but i think i would like it. kind of. well, i think i would like to wake up to him fucking me, not sleep through it.

i have woken him up by going down on him, but he usually just cums and goes back to sleep.

Yeah...I've woken up and woken a lover up with the "beginning" of sex...gentle foreplay and such but to sleep through intercourse is unfathomable to me. I'm not saying now that it couldn't happen as it's been reported here to HAVE happened to others.

I loved waking up like that and I got the distinct impression that my lover did as well... But it was a very short while into it that either of us remained asleep!

 

[FurryFury]

Well for anyone who has had this experience - what's it like? Does the sleeping person's body perform or is it like having sex with someone who (for whatever reason) is completely non-responsive? Does "instinct" take over at all?

Have any women had sex with a sleeping man where they got him to an erection and he stayed asleep?

It's just really hard to imagine sleeping through sex when a partner completes the act to orgasm!

My ex was a jerk. We never had sex when I wanted to. So one night after we'd been at a theme park and were in a hotel, I decided to go for it while he was asleep. Things were looking quite promising when he woke up and stopped it because heaven forbid sex, would ever be something I wanted, when I wanted it, or how I wanted it, oh no. Jerk wad.

Generally, I don't like sleep sex unless it's one of those rare times I get a lot of sleep. It's hard enough to get to sleep, I don't like to be woken or wake others. My husband and I have played with it a bit but we both found it less than exciting. Now in the mythical land of perfection, if we both had plenty of sleep and time, it could be fun IMO.

No, I don't consider this rape. In fact, I was closer to rape than you were. Then again, I was due some pay back . . .

 

[LadyAmaranth]

I am having a hard time picturing someone actually asleep that entire time. Perhaps you must be a really heavy sleeper. I would more freak out in surprise at the person waking me up with sex rather than getting into it...well I would probable quickly get over the surprise .

As everyone else said, it can not be rape if you have previously agreed to it and it is obvious that she likes it. Did you ask her why she will do that and not anything else? Perhaps it is one of those guilt things. This way she can pretend it is something against her will and yet not actually engage in BDSM.

 

[tanijaana]

If she said it was ok to go ahead and do it and never said anything to the contrary, I would not call it rape. If she expressed distaste for it and told you not to do it again and then you did it anyway, THEN I would call it rape.

I had someone try this with me once without asking beforehand if he could, and I woke up in the middle of it. I broke up with him the next morning after accusing him to his face of trying to rape me.

Lisa

 

[Softouch911]

Hell no, it's consensual so it can't be rape.

Up until a couple of years ago I called it "marriage."

Just saying.
ST