Is "Dom" another word for "Asshole"?

[bad kitty]

I don't know about this. Some "true" "doms" might be all nicey nice. WHo is to say that they all are?

Sure anyone can call themselves a Dom and I certainly don't have the ultimate authority to say who is or who isn't. But to me, some one who isn't a decent, caring person can never be a Dom. They may call themselves one but to me, being an asshole defies every meaning of the word.

 

[bad kitty]

I'm sorry bad kitty, but this kind of definition of a "true dom" is nonsense. Not only are some doms not understanding, caring or compassionate, some are actually, I suspect, sadists. (!)

And to go even further with it, this kind of limitation is really nothing more than topping from the bottom - what you're saying here defines a great father figure or a boyfriend, but doesn't necessarily describe a dom.

As I had just stated in my previous post, personally I see a Dom as being more than someone who dominates. Just like it takes more to be a submissive than simply someone who submits. It takes alot of maturity, self knowledge and control, compassion, and extreme strength. We obviously have different opinions of what it takes to be a Dom. There is nothing wrong with that. I honestly can't say that an inconsiderate asshole is anything more than a wannabe. *shrug*

 

[sunstruck]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Is "Dom" another word for "Asshole"?

Uhm, I think you're right: there's a noticeable lack of sense of humor among some lifestylers. I don't know why that is.

Personally I think many forms of sexual desire and behavior are innate. In other words, people are often hard-wired for what they want in bed. As for whether homosexuality is the "same" as BDSM, in the civil rights sense of the word, I have a problem with the whole victimology hierarchy, but if I had to give a pecking order I'd put race over homosexuality, and homosexuality over BDSM.

I think many people confuse being "dominating" in social situations with being a "dom."

I don't think people who dominate conversations or social situations are necessarily dominant in bed, or vice-versa.

But people who try to dominate social situations often come off as assholes. And if someone's trying to prove their dom (or domme) credentials, they may wind up doing exactly that.

I'm glad you took an interest in this thread Sandia. Your posts are really thoughtful and unbiased. That was needed.

I don't like the idea of a victimology hierarchy, but that may just be the world we live in.

I think anyone is going to be on the defensive when you're talking about their lifestyle, especially when they know you're not going to agree on every point. It's natural. But I think several people here showed distinct grace and humor in keeping their defensiveness to a bare minimum. Not all, but several.

 

[Never]

Just so we're all clear, you think Dommes are wonderful people who should be showered with laurels, right?

 

[Lancecastor]

Just so we're all clear, you think Dommes are wonderful people who should be showered with laurels, right?

Dommes should be showered with Laurel's what?

 

[Never]

Those bits which are best when bitten into?

 

[Sandia]

As I had just stated in my previous post, personally I see a Dom as being more than someone who dominates. Just like it takes more to be a submissive than simply someone who submits. It takes alot of maturity, self knowledge and control, compassion, and extreme strength. We obviously have different opinions of what it takes to be a Dom. There is nothing wrong with that. I honestly can't say that an inconsiderate asshole is anything more than a wannabe. *shrug*

That's like saying someone who's gay but also an asshole can't really be gay.

***

Thanks, sunstruck.

 

[MissTaken]

Just so we're all clear, you think Dommes are wonderful people who should be showered with laurels, right?

I'd like to shower with Laurel!

 

[sunstruck]

That's like saying someone who's gay but also an asshole can't really be gay.

***

Thanks, sunstruck.

LOL You're welcome.