Is a preference for Asians a preference or a fetish?

[priscillapriscilla]

In the wake of the escalation in anti-Asian racism we've witnessed over the past year, i wanted to ask a serious question to community members of Asian heritage, both men and women.

Does a strong preference for Asians (romantically) by a non-Asian constitute a fetish?

When does a preference turn into a fetish?

Do you find it offensive when a non-Asian prefers Asians?

 

[MIAtomik]

Where does this go bad and offensive? When it's the main and/or only criteria for attraction.

People want to be loved for who they are. Naturally we want to feel like our lovers are attracted to us and that does involve our physical appearance; reducing it to race like this completely removes their humanity from the equation.

My second wife was Asian-American. I was absolutely physically attracted to her - but our relationship and my genuine interest was based on her personality. Who she was.

 

[Asian_Flower]

I may be qualified to answer. I would say leans towards Fetish. Definitely here on Lit I have had dozens of PM's over time with basic the same theme..."I have always wanted to fuck an Asian". Charming. Not.

 

[36524]

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[therwine40]

I may be qualified to answer. I would say leans towards Fetish. Definitely here on Lit I have had dozens of PM's over time with basic the same theme..."I have always wanted to fuck and Asian". Charming. Not.

That is a very sad commentary on what people think. Sickening

 

[jehoram]

And, strictly speaking, a fetish is a fetish only when you need it to get yourself off. Otherwise, it's a kink.

And we all have favorites in the sizes and shapes of bodies and the colors of skin and eyes and hair. Some of these traits are linked to the ethnic background of the people we're admiring. IMO, it's only a problem when I qualify or disqualify somebody only on the basis of their racial background, because I miss a lot when only those aspects are important.

 

[Booboobear84]

Snarky but accurate comment: I haven't seen any incidents around women from India or Saudi Arabia. There is an implicit assumption that Asians are only East Asians.

Running with that implicit assumption for some people a preference for an idealized East Asian look, is the same as liking blonds. There is an attraction but it's simply a component of an interest. For others it's the only characteristic of interest, and I would call that a fetish (which leads to the crap that AsianFlower has heard).

 

[Chernosoth]

Many Asians have difficulty with digesting meat and milk. Various other races need meat because they can't digest plant protein. Matching dietary restrictions is one way to find compatibility.

 

[Asian_Flower]

That is a very sad commentary on what people think. Sickening

Oh I would rather be fetishised over being called a "slanty eyes slut" which happened on this site. FYI, I dont have "slanty eyes"

 

[36524]

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[Fingerfuxs]

In the wake of the escalation in anti-Asian racism we've witnessed over the past year, i wanted to ask a serious question to community members of Asian heritage, both men and women.

Does a strong preference for Asians (romantically) by a non-Asian constitute a fetish?

When does a preference turn into a fetish?

Do you find it offensive when a non-Asian prefers Asians?

I culture fetish ? If you would have gone down the kinky path of preferences. Maybe

but

Your stretching the bounty’s of manners and good taste. Why not ask is interracial a fetish or a porn category.

Is click bait , hawt , this post is for Chilly.

 

[Asian_Flower]

I have slanty eyes. No one should have to hide their ethnicity, but this is why my username is made up of numbers . . .

You are right, no one should have to because of the racists. I have received some truly disgusting PMs directed at me because they know I am Asian, but I just ignore them and on the block list they go. Then I keep on smiling because I dont let those kind of low lifes affect me.

 

[nowisthetime]

That's terrible that there are some Asian fonts are receiving hate mail. Sadly, many Asian-Americans thought they were immune from racism, which is not the case.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

I have a preference for petite, feminine, brunettes and that includes the majority of Asian women. If an Asian woman isn't pretty, petite, and feminine, I'm not going to be interested. The term Asain fever if applied to me would be incorrect and offensive.

 

[CuttingEdge]

And, strictly speaking, a fetish is a fetish only when you need it to get yourself off. Otherwise, it's a kink.

I am not sure about that...

I LIKE a woman barefoot, which gives me the moniker that I have a "foot fetish", but in no way do I need a woman to be barefoot to get off, or to even get turned on. I like a woman in high heels, or even Keds. I also like a woman in stockings and pantyhose which makes a woman less than barefoot. Just ask my wife: I have gotten off embarrassingly far too quick, too many times while in bed with her while she was wearing a minidress and high heels with nary a toe showing!

I think this applies to other fetishes as well though. I cannot speak for those that like a woman in Latex, but I am sure they can have sex with a woman without her wearing such an outfit, or a host of other fetishes that are out there. All may be kinky if we engage in what we like, but I think the fact that we like certain things, makes it a fetish for us.

 

[CuttingEdge]

That being said, I don't think a person that likes Asian Women has a fetish; I would never use that term.

My Uncle liked Asian women; a rarity to find here, and would fly out to Las Vegas once a month to gamble and get an Asian escort. He was pretty open about it, but we never said he had a Asian Fetish, in fact we never said he had a "preference", we typically just said he had a "penchant for Asian women".

 

[darrad143]

I just ended a beautiful 8 year relationship with a Asian woman. I won’t say I wouldn’t date another race. But I will say she changed my life. We were in a age gap to and that hurt. We are still friends and since we parted she changed preferences to woman. We worked well together and were very romantic. The age thing and the fact I think she was closeted is what broke us up. I will always remember her. She will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. She hasn’t been the only Asian I have dated. I will say I’ve never strayed with her but I have with other races. Even when she stopped being sexual.

 

[Susscrofa]

In the wake of the escalation in anti-Asian racism we've witnessed over the past year, i wanted to ask a serious question to community members of Asian heritage, both men and women.

Does a strong preference for Asians (romantically) by a non-Asian constitute a fetish?

When does a preference turn into a fetish?

Do you find it offensive when a non-Asian prefers Asians?

I know that you intended this thread for Asians or those of Asian descent, but as a white guy who has had several relationships with Asians, I just wanted to say that find it strange that somebody would refer to the fact that I often find Asian women attractive as a "fetish".

I seldom if ever hear anyone who likes white blondes accused of having a "fetish" for them, yet I fail to see a difference between a man who likes east Asian women vs one who prefers blonde women of northwest European descent. I wouldn't call either a "fetish" - I reserve that term for truly strange sexual fixations like shoe fetishes.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I think it can be both, depending on the attitude of the person with the desire.

We all have things we find attractive - some prefer thick, some thin, some older, some younger, some this, some that. Some like black women, some prefer European over Americans. Some may have a genuine preference for an Asian woman, though one would assume that preference would be more defined - such as Japanese women as opposed to Chinese women or Indian women.

However, there are those that completely objectify and racialize Asians, or blacks, or anyone else and collapses them into a single category of a type that they want to "try" because they are known to be submissive or some other non-sensical generalization - that I would consider a fetish, though one not particularly sophisticated.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

I think it can be both, depending on the attitude of the person with the desire.

We all have things we find attractive - some prefer thick, some thin, some older, some younger, some this, some that. Some like black women, some prefer European over Americans. Some may have a genuine preference for an Asian woman, though one would assume that preference would be more defined - such as Japanese women as opposed to Chinese women or Indian women.

However, there are those that completely objectify and racialize Asians, or blacks, or anyone else and collapses them into a single category of a type that they want to "try" because they are known to be submissive or some other non-sensical generalization - that I would consider a fetish, though one not particularly sophisticated.

Well said

 

[bitslinger]

I may be qualified to answer. I would say leans towards Fetish. Definitely here on Lit I have had dozens of PM's over time with basic the same theme..."I have always wanted to fuck an Asian". Charming. Not.

I'll second this. When I first started dating my wife, one of the things that made me interesting was that I wasn't just trying to check off another sexual menu item. She had her fair share of guys who only really cared about her ethnicity and found it a major turn off.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

I don't understand the Asian fever fetish. Is it a white superiority thing?

 

[priscillapriscilla]

I don't understand the Asian fever fetish. Is it a white superiority thing?

I think it is for some. Speaking on behalf of myself, I a) prefer petite women regardless of race. b) prefer straight black c) prefer women with distinct facial features similar to some (but not all) Southern Europeans, Central and South Americans and East Asians. I'm a sucker for dark sexy eyes.

But there are a lot of guys into the passive / submissive Asian stereotypes which is pretty creepy.