Is a lap dance cheating?

[symplesimon]

?

 

[waits2play]

A bump for your poll

 

[sueanninct]

I guess it depends on what he does. Some men get more involved than others.

 

[S.Daedalus]

Do they know? Do THEY care?

Yes...why do you need some other person dancing all around you..when you have a significant other waiting for you. And even if they are not waiting at that moment..they are there..and they matter.

I don't care if you touch or don't touch...in my books, it's not something you do if you have a significant other of any sort.

NOW, having said that, if the relationship lends itself to this sort of thing, then all the more power to ya. If they are ok with it and you are ok with it..then really is anything cheating?

- Stephen
just my humble opinion.

 

[kikmosa]

Re: Do they know? Do THEY care?

Yes...why do you need some other person dancing all around you..when you have a significant other waiting for you. And even if they are not waiting at that moment..they are there..and they matter.

I don't care if you touch or don't touch...in my books, it's not something you do if you have a significant other of any sort.

NOW, having said that, if the relationship lends itself to this sort of thing, then all the more power to ya. If they are ok with it and you are ok with it..then really is anything cheating?

- Stephen
just my humble opinion.

I fully agree.

 

[sirhugs]

You really need another category - " maybe". I say it depends on the "rules" a coule makes, as well as how far it goes.

Basically, if you lie about it, its cheating. If it displaces sex with your mate, its cheating.

If your mate knows, then its fine. especially if you bring home the right attitude.

 

[RomanHans]

I'd say in the vast majority of cases where an attached person pays for a lap dance from a stranger, it would be hard for it NOT to be cheating, unless it's done with the ADVANCE consent of the partner. Any lap dance with decent 'mileage' is at least simulated sex, so the customer is seeking arousal from a source outside the pre-existing relationship.

However, I'd argue that there are gradations of 'cheating,' and that some instances of cheating are more egregious than others...and this kind of cheating can be rather innocuous as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

Roman

 

[1sexylady]

No........ I totally disagree. Besides those who don't cheat wouldn't be going for a Lap dance to begin with. If they are happy at home they would Lap dance there.

 

[Sweetevil]

I have given my hubby consent to visiting a strip club a few times. He just visited his first strip club last year. His buddies bought him one lap dance, and he purchased another. He told me all about them when he came home. Every last little detail. I do not consider it cheating cuz clothes were on him the whole time, and all she did was "tease" him. Heck a woman in a grodery store can be wearing a tight little short skirt with no panties and bend over to "tease" him, or a woman with big "hoo hoos" can wear a very revealing shirt and "tease" him.... He didn't touch her in any way.(thank god...) And besides he came home to ME and told me everything. If he lied and did it behind my back, then it would be different. Cuz he must have done something to be guilty for or he wouldn't have lied...

Well I just figured I would add my 2 cents....

 

[RomanHans]

I have given my hubby consent to visiting a strip club a few times. He just visited his first strip club last year. His buddies bought him one lap dance, and he purchased another. He told me all about them when he came home. Every last little detail. I do not consider it cheating cuz clothes were on him the whole time, and all she did was "tease" him. Heck a woman in a grodery store can be wearing a tight little short skirt with no panties and bend over to "tease" him, or a woman with big "hoo hoos" can wear a very revealing shirt and "tease" him.... He didn't touch her in any way.(thank god...) And besides he came home to ME and told me everything. If he lied and did it behind my back, then it would be different. Cuz he must have done something to be guilty for or he wouldn't have lied...

Well I just figured I would add my 2 cents....

Umm...one difference with your analogy is that a customer in a strip club PAYS a dancer to tease him, whereas the hypothetical woman in a grocery store probably is the one initiating the tease. So a lap dance is in most cases an intentional act to get arousal from someone who is, again in most cases, a stranger.

Also, the customer (OK let's assume it's a man, as with most strip club customers) may not _want_ a lap dance from his partner at home. I'm reluctant to assign motives wholesale, b/c maybe the customer is just looking for something 'different' from what he gets (or even desires) from his wife/girlfriend/whatever.

Mind you, I still think it's cheating--but I still differentiate between buying one dance from a stranger and other mechanisms for cheating, like forming a long-term sexual relationship with a third party. And clearly, honesty or lack thereof should be in the equation as well.

Hope y'all don't mind my rambling--feel free to ignore!

Roman

 

[RomanHans]

Turning the tables...

Another question is, is someone who dances in a strip club (male or female) while involved in a relationship necessarily cheating?

I'm not suggesting any kind of moral equivalency between a strip club patron and a dancer--obviously the circumstances are quite different in each case. But there are clearly lap dancers who have boyfriends/girlfriends or are married...

Roman