is 24/7 actually a reality?

kristydoll

Really Experienced
Joined
Aug 17, 2002
Posts
205
I am almost hesitant to post this, but the term "24/7" gets under my skin (and not in a good way). In all honesty - is there really such a thing?

BDSM is my lifestyle and always will be. I live it daily...real life...and in the same home as my partner. Although I am "submissive", I would never say I am "24/7". To me, this is not logical or a possibility.

There are times when I must be in full control. It is not that I "won't or can't" submit, but at certain times, and in certain areas, my submission does not include these areas. I submit to "Him", as this is my choice and what truly makes me happy, but, in turn, he also understands that in some things, I do know best and does not try to control these areas. These areas usually involve my business and my children. I do work at home, but when I am in "work mode", I am not willing to submit at the drop of a hat. In this respect, I do not think - to me anyway - that 24/7 exists. We all at times, need to be the one in control.

This is my experience....and I admit....my own "dislike" of that term. Do others really feel they are living "24/7"?

kristy
 
24/7

I consider myself to be in a 24/7 D/s relationship, (according to MY definition,...no one elses). There are MANY areas of Dream's life, I exert no control whatsoever. :rose:
 
good topic, kristy!

...and you make some valid points. I understand what you mean. I teach, and I cannot be "sub" with my classes, or they would eat me alive, and not in the good way, either!

I believe that D/s is a continuum--there are people for whom it is recreational. An occasional diversion. But as my Master very astutely put it at one time, "There came a time when I realized it wasn't just something I did--it was something I WAS."

For many, it is something you are. I do not teach at home, but I am still a teacher when I am there, 24/7. I may not be actively subbing at all times, but I am always a sub. Make sense?

Thanks for posing an interesting question!

Happy Day!
 
kristydoll said:
I am almost hesitant to post this, but the term "24/7" gets under my skin (and not in a good way). In all honesty - is there really such a thing?

BDSM is my lifestyle and always will be. I live it daily...real life...and in the same home as my partner. Although I am "submissive", I would never say I am "24/7". To me, this is not logical or a possibility.

There are times when I must be in full control. It is not that I "won't or can't" submit, but at certain times, and in certain areas, my submission does not include these areas. I submit to "Him", as this is my choice and what truly makes me happy, but, in turn, he also understands that in some things, I do know best and does not try to control these areas. These areas usually involve my business and my children. I do work at home, but when I am in "work mode", I am not willing to submit at the drop of a hat. In this respect, I do not think - to me anyway - that 24/7 exists. We all at times, need to be the one in control.

This is my experience....and I admit....my own "dislike" of that term. Do others really feel they are living "24/7"?

kristy

greetings, kristy..nice to meet a fellow canuck :rose:

the way you describe it, your living situation is a classic case of 24/7.........for just because you do not ask permission from your partner to take each and every breath of air into your lungs, or are forced to take the garbage out naked with one hand tied behind your back, that does not mean you are not 24/7 with him.......

the two of you share a home/life together........from what you describe, you have a power exchange relationship...........you both have negotiated what works for you ......both in the relationship and as far as the BDSM lifestyle is concerned......THAT, to me, cannot be construed as anything else but a 24/7 relationship......

the exception, of course, would be if your BDSM was restricted to kinkplay........which it is not........

i suppose if you define 24/7 as 24/7 submission, than you can make an argument otherwise.....but i believe that is just semantics.......as you have negotiated your submission with him.......so, as long as you live within the negotiated parameters 24/7, you are it!!

hhmmm........well........you COULD call it 7/24........but, if that isn't good enough for you, i am afraid the ONLY solution left to suggest is that you leave Him.....then for SURE ya wont be 24/7 anymore!! ;)
 
Re: good topic, kristy!

kate8417 said:
For many, it is something you are. I do not teach at home, but I am still a teacher when I am there, 24/7. I may not be actively subbing at all times, but I am always a sub. Make sense?

Makes sense to me. :rose:
 
You know, for me 24/7 has always just meant that we live together full-time, and our sexual expression always has a BDSM flavor to it.

I didn't realize this caused people such concern. Interesting, though.
 
RisiaSkye said:
You know, for me 24/7 has always just meant that we live together full-time, and our sexual expression always has a BDSM flavor to it.

I didn't realize this caused people such concern. Interesting, though.

I think that makes a lot of sense. Risia's definition, I think hits the nail on the head.

I know that I could not, because of my career, be a submissive in all facets of my life. I am also a Mom and am not submissive in that area. But in my sexual life I am definately submissive. I cannot initiate sex, for instance. If I have to, it is very uncomfortable, clumsy and unpleasant for me.

Rose:heart:
 
RS

RisiaSkye said:
You know, for me 24/7 has always just meant that we live together full-time, and our sexual expression always has a BDSM flavor to it.

I didn't realize this caused people such concern. Interesting, though.

I think each person defines to themself what 24/7 means to them. To me,...it is a committment that Dream and I have negotiated,...and WE understand where the boundaries are. She also wears my collar as a symbol of our agreed upon relationship,...and THAT,...to me is 24/7.

I realise it may not fit anyone elses definition of a 24/7,..so be it. :rose:
 
Definitions

Interesting and difficult as I agree that we probably all have a personal one.
For me 24/7 means an ongoing power exchange, when living together, which does not in any way exclude the sub being independent in his/her workplace or in relationship to children. These issues are individually discussed and negotiated "in my world".

VP
 
RisiaSkye said:
You know, for me 24/7 has always just meant that we live together full-time, and our sexual expression always has a BDSM flavor to it.

I agree with Risia on this.
For me as a person who has a switch personality but is generally tending towards the Domme part it has never been a question of the quantitiy of BDSM, but rather the Quality.

In my opinion every BDSM couple has to find a way of 24/7 that is pleasing for both of them. The Dom/me has to realise that in real life it is virtually impossible to excercise "real" 24/7 control.

Just my two cents.
 
This thread was interesting to me because I wondered the same thing ...how a 24/7 submissive could function in the world under those conditions. Your explanations all make sense.

Maybe I was confusing a 24/7 BDSM relationship with "slavery"?
 
24/7

In my opinion, 24/7 is what the two people involved make of it.

I have searched for over two years for the person who can share that reality with Me.

I have found him, My proud stallion. So I do not care what others call what we do.

I think of it as 24/7 in action, thought, and deed. There is ebb and flow thoughout daily living, but the dynamics are there. The power exchange is intact, the roles are not diminished.

As long as the commitment ifor reality is there, it is 24/7.
Ebony
 
Re: 24/7

Unregistered said:
In my opinion, 24/7 is what the two people involved make of it.

I have searched for over two years for the person who can share that reality with Me.

I have found him, My proud stallion. So I do not care what others call what we do.

I think of it as 24/7 in action, thought, and deed. There is ebb and flow thoughout daily living, but the dynamics are there. The power exchange is intact, the roles are not diminished.

As long as the commitment ifor reality is there, it is 24/7.
Ebony

This was Me, I timed out again.

Ebony
 
Minor hijack

I didn't get to say this before but Ebony; I'm so very happy for you!

:rose:

VP
 
Re: 24/7

Originally posted by EbonyFire
In my opinion, 24/7 is what the two people involved make of it.

I have searched for over two years for the person who can share that reality with Me.

I have found him, My proud stallion. So I do not care what others call what we do.

I think of it as 24/7 in action, thought, and deed. There is ebb and flow thoughout daily living, but the dynamics are there. The power exchange is intact, the roles are not diminished.

As long as the commitment ifor reality is there, it is 24/7.
Ebony

[highjack]

Oh Ebony, I'm so very happy for you. Congrats to you on this. I hope you get everything you want from this relationship!!! :rose:

[/highjack]

Now on the topic. I agree with Ebony and Risia. 24/7 is what the two people involve make of it, and for me its living full time with my Master/husband, and our sexual experiences having that wonderful BDSM flavor to them.

~smiles~
dixi
 
thanks

Thank you all for the great replies.

If anything, this has allowed me to see "24/7" as more than the "restrictive" role that I always seen it to be. Thank you for that. I shall now take that term in a new context.

kristy
 
Anastasia said:
This thread was interesting to me because I wondered the same thing ...how a 24/7 submissive could function in the world under those conditions. Your explanations all make sense.

Maybe I was confusing a 24/7 BDSM relationship with "slavery"?


You might want to read this thread that I copied from the BDSM Talk LIbrary. What a great resource!


Slaves vs. Subs
 
Simply a State of Being.

I too believe what most of you are saying. It is a state of being for the one I own. She is and always will be in a 24/7 senario with me. I have access to her life whenever I want it. She makes her own decisions when it comes to her life but she also trusts my judgement and will ask me for advice concerning these choices. We do not live together but our relationship is 24/7 in nature and in deed. She is what she is and she will not change that for anything. Her completeness is based on this, on me for that mater!!!!
I believe that to be in this type of a relationship both members need to be there for each 24/7 and have that understanding for it to work.

The G:devil:
 
RisiaSkye said:
You know, for me 24/7 has always just meant that we live together full-time, and our sexual expression always has a BDSM flavor to it.

I didn't realize this caused people such concern. Interesting, though.

I agree.

My boy and I had talked about 24/7 when W/we realized that things were going well between U/us. W/we both viewed 24/7 as being an ongoing power exchange that would effect all aspects of O/our lives. Together and apart. Neither of U/us thought it was possible due to work and RL issues.

This thread has made Me realize that what W/we have is 24/7.
Just in O/our own way.

Thank you for that. :kiss:


Helena :rose:
 
I went to a "class" given by a 24/7 slave last weekend, and it was quite interesting. We talked about all the different spins on a 24/7 relationship, including the spin where the sub/slave/whatever-you-call-it has a demanding and successful career or job outside the relationship. For instance, as the speaker said, "If I owned Mel Gibson, I would value his career as my top possession and expect him to continue to give it his best. And imagine Mel Gibson sucking my toes!"

That's the way it is with B and I.... I have a successful and demanding career, plus 3 kids left at home, and he values those roles. Am I always "his"? Yes, all the time. But has he ever given me an order which would cause me to be less of a successful career woman or less of a good mother? No, that would be counterproductive.

my two cents.
justina
 
As with most things in this lifestyle, I think 24/7 has it's various meanings relevant to the people within the relationship. For us it is living and loving together 24/7 in a lifestyle choice which means I attempt at all times to behave in a way I understand him to find pleasing and useful. As I am a slave this does incorporate my being his TPE possession, but does not mean he disrespects me, or needs to trivialise my gifts and talents to exercise power over me. In fact, as he owns me, it is my responsibility to build on these facets of my personality in a way that can enable him to have pride in his possession and utilise my skills for his pleasure and benefit.

For others it is more relaxed and there are areas which are outside the relationship bounds of 24/7, and ones that are within. There may be times when they serve their Dominant, and other times when they are focused on children or career. There are even 24/7 arrangements where both people do not live together, though I think they are often harder to maintain for a variety of reasons from absence of the Dominant to the expected frustration many experience at wishing circumstances could enable that live in arrangement possible. As with most things, diversity and understanding through open communication are the keys to making it work for each person.

Catalina :rose:
 
For Me

For me, 24/7 would be too much "work" and take the "fun" out of the relationship and truthfully I would get BORED! JMO, of course. *smile*
 
Re: For Me

fallon2 said:
For me, 24/7 would be too much "work" and take the "fun" out of the relationship and truthfully I would get BORED! JMO, of course. *smile*

It definately isn't everyone's cup of tea, though I had the opposite problem, I found not being 24/7 boring and frustrating. LOL. Different strokes for different folks.

Catalina :rose:
 
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