Aquila
Monkey God
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2002
- Posts
- 6,687
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his palace wondering
what country to
invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said.
"Tis Paddy, down at
the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing
to inform you that
we are officially declaring war on you.
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's
calculation, "tis meself, me
cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the
entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr.
Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam
asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer and
Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've
increased my army to 1-1/2
million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy, "I'll have to get
back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr.
Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne!
We've modified
Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in
the cockpit, and
four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as
well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat, "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000
fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser guided,
surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my
army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'll have to
ring you back."
Sure enough Paddy called again the next day, "Top o'
the mornin',
Mr.Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had
to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam, "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a long chat over
a bunch of pints,
and decided there's no way we can feed two million
prisoners."
what country to
invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said.
"Tis Paddy, down at
the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing
to inform you that
we are officially declaring war on you.
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's
calculation, "tis meself, me
cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the
entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr.
Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam
asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer and
Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've
increased my army to 1-1/2
million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy, "I'll have to get
back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr.
Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne!
We've modified
Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in
the cockpit, and
four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as
well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat, "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000
fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser guided,
surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my
army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'll have to
ring you back."
Sure enough Paddy called again the next day, "Top o'
the mornin',
Mr.Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had
to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam, "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a long chat over
a bunch of pints,
and decided there's no way we can feed two million
prisoners."
