IQ and BDSM ?

[SilkVelvet]

I just had this thought this morning, whether anyone here feels that IQ is an important part of BDSM for them

Is it important to you to play with or have a relationship with people who are intelligent ? Does it make the whole thing better for you ?


Do you feel that besides innate Dominant or Submissive tendencies and the influence of things such as upbringing and socialisation that you are also into BDSM because you just plum get bored with vanilla because you have a high IQ and a low sexual boredom threshold ???

 

[ghosst_K&H]

I have noticed from reading these and other BSDM boards that most lifestyle people tend to be in the upper echelon of the intelligence scale. I dont know if thats due to the open mindedness, artistic flair, or the freedom to use our imaginations to bring happiness to our lives.

I for one have a low tolerance level with people who are considered "stupid", or "airhead". But that just may be a personality flaw of mine.

 

[MartinConteggio]

Thought I'd jump in for a second to place a disclaimer here and hopefully help you guys if you decide to start a comparison.

Increasingly more and more people are moving away from IQ testing as a meter of intelligence. It is really not a very comprehensive means to determine anything.

But... if you do want to compare IQs, I recommend comparing based on percentile rather than score #. It is much more relevant than "Sally got a 121 and Pete got a 110".

 

[Netzach]

Who here is going to say, actually I consider myself dull normal in intellect and I really like my partners, or my Dom or whatever, really damn stupid?

I also agree with Martin Conteggio re: IQ testing, and refreshingly there are a lot of ways to *measure* intelligence.

I know for a fact that I'm going to do a lot better off with a partner who shares some of my useless ivory tower concerns, that's all I know.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Chuckling ... Sig line states it all.

Well put Netzi.

 

[Princessintrng]

IQ?

I don't have a clue what my IQ is and since I quit school in the 10th grade and received my GED to join the military I couldn't really care less what it is. I feel most of my education was received through the school of life and I learned well. I do find that I am drawn to people who are more street smart then book smart. I do need mental stimulation in a relationship, but the person I am talking to doesn't have to be a genius, they just have to have orignal thoughts, be able to articulate those thoughts and respect the fact that we may not always agree.

 

[dragonlace]

i actually have a very high IQ but that doesn't necessarily mean that i use all of the potential i have.....hell sometimes i don't even want to use any of it

 

[A Desert Rose]

I have no idea what my IQ is and like others, couldn't care less. Nor, I am sure, does it matter to anyone here what my IQ is... kind of like whether I love to suck cock or what my hard limits are. ;-)

Basically, we all gravitate to others of like-mind, which is one of the reasons we are all here right now.

 

[Quint]

I'm intelligent, probably more so than T, but he is far smarter with people than I am or ever will be. I don't have to talk down to him and I learn a helluva lot about myself through him. That's what makes me happy.

And yes, the fact that I do get bored with actions and people types easily does contribute to my sexual proclivities. I see the connection.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have no idea what my IQ is and objected, but to no avail, when doctors decided they just had to satisfy their own curiousity and test my son as a child. I think it is limiting in that it is geared to fit a certain type from a certain perspective and understanding of reality. That being said, in vanilla or BDSM I have always found the partners who had a mind and utilised it were the ones I could form a long relationship and friendship with. To me, mind activity is the biggest aphrodesiac and attraction every time. This is not limited to a degree type persona, just someone with an open inquiring mind, and an ability to reason, think, and learn always.

Master is highly intelligent, and our areas of knowledge and useage of the brain complement and nurture the others. It is also an integral part of play and our love, providing a never ending landscape of adventure. His brain and spirituality, and the power he has to use both for good, is a facet of him I am still learning about. He is not one to speak about his ability to use his mind in ways many do not understand, so I learn bit by bit as situations arise what extraordinary things he can do.

As to intellect and sexual boredom levels influencing my choice to pursue this lifestyle, it is only true in as much as I realised the one reason I was never satisfied for more than 5 minutes with vanilla was because my needs for what this lifestyle offers were not being met and never would be in the vanilla world. I don't think it was a boredom issue, but was a need, and was not so much an intellect thing as a realisation.

Catalina

 

[Bikewer]

It does seem that folks involved in various sorts of BDSM are rather creative and enjoy role-playing and fantasy.

To agree with the above posters, this is not necessarily an indication of "intelligence".

If you're interested in such things, read Stephen Jay Gould's "The Mismeasure of Man" sometime.

"IQ" started out as a rather simple diagnostic tool to test for developmental problems, and somehow became a generalized test for "intelligence". Gould emphasises that attempts to quantify intelligence are doomed to failure, especially in terms of a single number.

 

[Desdemona]

I like having my mind stimulated. As long as that happens on a regular basis, either in casual conversation or in a scene, I'm happy.

 

[MissTaken]

I know my IQ and it has no more bearing on my sexuality than it does on choice of breakfast foods...eggs or chocolate creme filled donuts!

But yes, BDSM requires a certain amount of creativity and mental aptitudes that would permit someone to be able to engage meaningfully. Is it actual intelligence or an ability to use that grey matter you have?

 

[A Desert Rose]

I know my IQ and it has no more bearing on my sexuality than it does on choice of breakfast foods...eggs or chocolate creme filled donuts!

Yep... chocolate once again.

 

[cellis]

Yep... chocolate once again.

I think there is probably more an indication of intelligence in the willingness to move out of the box and into the unknown...

I know what my IQ is... But it doesn't mean a damn thing... not really.... Just that I should make smarter choices sometimes than I do....

However, I do love chocolate....

 

[Shadowsdream]

IQ SmhmIQ!
~~grin~~

Intellect is not measured in IQ for Me but in common sense and the passion to always be learning more.
Without Intellect My thoughts become stagnant and bored. I need the sounding board of the slave/subs intellectual conversations, the deep non stop discussions ranging from the dissecting of sound to the reasons opinions differ world wide.
For Me to be mentally stimulated on a constant basis it is imperative that conversations go deeper than what to cook for dinner or the color of new sheets.
My slave could walk circles around Me in educational learning and IQ, but in street smarts he will always be a baby. I never doubt that there is a conversation that W/we won't both learn something from. Any submissive that sits at My feet for more than a training will need to be Intellectual on some level.

 

[Peter2002]

I've always found that smarts makes for better subs.

 

[Peter2002]

Added thought

I've always found that smarts makes for better subs.

And that makes for the sweetest domination.

 

[Spiderich]

IQ

I think IQ plays a part only as much as you wish it to. Remember that the mind is the greatest sexual part of our anatomy. But you really dont need IQ to be creative so now we have 2 different opinions to think about. lol
All I know is that as a person with a somewhat high IQ myself I do get bored easily and am always searching for something that will take my interests to another level.
Though this lifestyle is not just an "interest".



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Remember you can never finish the adventure if you don't start the journey!

 

[Peter2002]

Re: IQ

I think IQ plays a part only as much as you wish it to. Remember that the mind is the greatest sexual part of our anatomy. But you really dont need IQ to be creative so now we have 2 different opinions to think about. lol
All I know is that as a person with a somewhat high IQ myself I do get bored easily and am always searching for something that will take my interests to another level.
Though this lifestyle is not just an "interest".

Good point. There is, I believe, such a thing as an emotional or intutive IQ.



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Remember you can never finish the adventure if you don't start the journey!

 

[Netzach]

I *am* of the opinion that a dominant must possess greater intelligence, even if only on some obscure level, than his/her submissive. Some strengths have to be played up.

G for example could outdo me royally in intellectual matters, and I'm no slouch. G is probably borderline genius. He astonishes me at every turn, and out-thinks everyone around him.

Emotionally, he's almost as retarded as your average 43 year old middle class white guy. 43 yo middle class white guys on the whole do not listen well to the voice of the Goddess, do not DO things based on good intuition, or without writing them into a little planner, and do not know how to *give* love very well, or how to love themselves rather than thinking themselves rather clever.

These are things I feel qualified to teach, and things that placing the subject in positions of vulnerability and pain tends to help with.

That's me, the good doctor with the vile vial.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... Emotionally, he's almost as retarded as your average 43 year old middle class white guy. 43 yo middle class white guys on the whole do not listen well to the voice of the Goddess, do not DO things based on good intuition, or without writing them into a little planner, and do not know how to *give* love very well, or how to love themselves rather than thinking themselves rather clever ...

ROFL!!!

Thank God, or Goddess, i'm only 41. http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif

My gut/intuition has led me well, and i'd rather keep it in my head than in a day planner.

As for the rest ... well, we'll leave it at a work in progress.

 

[ethereal~minx]

ROFL!!!

Thank God, or Goddess, i'm only 41. http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif

My gut/intuition has led me well, and i'd rather keep it in my head than in a day planner.

As for the rest ... well, we'll leave it at a work in progress.

as for the rest... as long as You don't deny it's work in progress *biting lip*... i mean, in my experience men in general are truly less emotionally intelligent or perhaps less willing to express it than their divine fem sisters

*squeezing eyes shut tight & sitting very very still*

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Desdemona]

As Netzach pointed out, there are different kinds of intelligence. IQ tests are overrated, and each individual has mental weaknesses and strengths.

Common sense is vastly underrated.

I have more years of graduate school than most people here have floggers and whips and can discuss ad nauseum the finer points of several sciences, but if you ask me to work with electronics or, worse, put me in a room with ten 5-year-olds, I'll look like an idiot inside of 3 minutes.

I'm with you babe. LOL.