Interesting Things to do While Golfing

[lavender]

 

[Guru]

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

Golf Cart Tag?

Or Perhaps A Nice Clean Game Of Kick The Golf Ball?

Scrying In The Golf Course Ponds?

 

[freescorfr]

Examine the shafts as potential sex toys.

Consider a defense for for a dog-walker's vets fees, whose dog has had a golf ball shot up its arse.

Be a tee-caddy.

Grade the men's bums from 1-18

 

[lavender]

 

[freescorfr]

I propose you keep your own score card then.

I see you score is 11111. pretty handsome!

 

[mig]

Better than golf.

Watching paint dry.

 

[Gord]

lavender

a few golfing words and phrases and things to make you seem knowlegeable

birdie 1 under
eagle 2 under
albatros 3 under ( VERY RARE BIRD - you wont see any )

bogey 1 over

fade - slight cut left to right

slice - huge cut left to right not good

draw - move the ball right to left

hook - huge movement right to left


a " Sally Gummel " - the ball goes on and on

golfing attire

try and wear as loud a pair of trousers as possible - loud tartan checks are in.

try and not snigger when player duffs shot/tops ball or hits it out of bounds . say bad luck and mutter something about the wind was up or a very bad lie

buy your round in the 19th - and you wont go wrong

 

[Hamletmaschine]

When I worked at a golf course, I learned to loathe the game and those who play it. I was so disappointed to learn that the "golfer-struck-and-killed-by-lightening" phenomenon doesn't happen nearly so often as I had thought. Anyway, once I learned that, as a common laborer, I was, for all intents and purposes, "invisible" to those jack-legged, fashion-challenged, conspicuously-consuming morons, it became a rather simple matter to fuck with 'em for the way they treated me and the other workers. Vandalism never felt so good.

Assuming you're not going to seek employment, though, the only way to survive an extended stint on a golf course can be summed up in one hyphenated word: twelve-pack.

 

[freescorfr]

Hamlet, you may well have a different view of the game if you play on any of Glasgow's 9 municipal courses. The bourgeoisie have, as in many sports, comandeered the recreation of the working people. Glaswegian golfers still start off with twelve packs from the first tee. They also have a shortened game "pitch and putt", for those who enjoy a quickie.

 

[SINthysist]

Wonder what one did to end in Hell?

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Hamlet, you may well have a different view of the game if you play on any of Glasgow's 9 municipal courses. The bourgeoisie have, as in many sports, comandeered the recreation of the working people. Glaswegian golfers still start off with twelve packs from the first tee. They also have a shortened game "pitch and putt", for those who enjoy a quickie.

The game is played differently in Scotland, free--no question about it. For one thing, the Scots don't feel the need to do any landscaping or manicuring of a cow pasture when they turn it into a golf course--they just leave it as it is, including the cows.

And I sort of got the impression that Glaswegians start off everything they do with a twelve-pack.

 

[bluespoke]

And I sort of got the impression that Glaswegians start off everything they do with a twelve-pack.

How dare you sir!

A twelve pack! Just a light snack before getting down to drinking!

 

[freescorfr]

Yes, I've a theory that God created Glaswegians with a vital limit, that is a total quantity of alcohol they can consume during their lifetime - like a mileage limit on the life of cars. He was generous and granted them twice the capacity of the rest of the race.
However, most of us consumed it at three times the rate of others. Basically, it was an experiment, which drove many to golf.
At least Lavy should have something to think about other than sex-toys.

 

[Gord]

Yes most of the time I played back home our bags tended to clink a bit more than usual -

the village my mum lives in has about 4 shops, one street , and at least 6 pubs and they are all busy !

 

[VanB]

A couple more golf words/phrases

A blondie = a fair crack down the middle

A nipple kisser = a shot that opens up the hole

A worm raper = a shot that barely gets above the ground and usually goes like a bullet

 

[Marxist]

LAVENDER GONE GOLFING

http://tnasupermarket.com/nudegolfing/images/b.jpg

 

[someplace]

You'll need a cell phone

There's at least one Lit member who's known for making wicked phone calls while driving around a course in his golf cart. You'd have to be a little quiet, but just nod & smile at the players every now & then to make them think you're watching, while all the time whispering naughty things to your Lit friends. It could work!

 

[Mischka]

Well, someplace's idea is more interesting, but you could try driving the golf cart. I popped a wheelie last time.

 

[Rhys]

I've been known to play a rousing game of tic tac toe with myself on the score card...

but they tell me the cards out here are all electronic so thats out.



I like the cell phone Idea...or better still get you a palm pilot and dl stories from lit...

 

[Skibum]

If you need something to do while golfing you should try a certain course here in Southern California. They had tents along the fairways occupied by hookers (and I don't mean golfers with a hook!). These ladies would srvice their customers right on the golf course.

The police have put an end to this business, but I imagine that an interested amatuer could take a page from their book, and arrange something like it with teir own golfing partner.

 

[sexy-girl]

is this lavenders coming out thread

 

[Guru]

 

[sexy-girl]

guru its all about marxist's theory