Interchanging problems and submission....

[Cherrysweetdeal]

When a submissive is going through a traumatic part of their life(as I am now). Is it a bad idea to put the desire to submit and the pleasure of submitting in place of what I have to deal with for a short period of time if it keeps me sane.

Part of my trouble is the fact that my bf(not sure if long distance will work or not) has moved indefinately to a different province and a city 8 hours away.

If anyone has any advice on how to possibly deal with this problem or ways to cope for atleast a couple minutes so I don't have to cry myself to sleep i would appreciate it.

Many thanks...

 

[kerker_miester]

dealing

When a submissive is going through a traumatic part of their life(as I am now). Is it a bad idea to put the desire to submit and the pleasure of submitting in place of what I have to deal with for a short period of time if it keeps me sane.

Part of my trouble is the fact that my bf(not sure if long distance will work or not) has moved indefinately to a different province and a city 8 hours away.

If anyone has any advice on how to possibly deal with this problem or ways to cope for atleast a couple minutes so I don't have to cry myself to sleep i would appreciate it.

Many thanks...

cherry

It seems you have a problem alright. I am sorry I know how it feels to be left alone. I have found it very helpful to chat with people of like minds. Though I have never met any of them in person I have many new friends here on lit. If your bf has said he no longer wants or needs you then I am truly sad for you and think he (well I'd better not go there). If he still wants/loves you try the distance thing for a bit before giving up. If he is into this life with you try online relationship till you two can get together it is not like being together but it is better than nothing. You may PM me if you need someone to just listen several of my new friends here on lit did that for me and it has help me alot. Thank you to you all, you know who you are thanks again. to you all

kerker_miester

 

[h_i_s]

i can only think on the 'if this were me' side of the scenario.


SCENARIO #1
IF this were me and .......

he had sincere intentions of coming back to live in the same town soon enough for me to feel it would be worth the wait...

& /or

plans were in effect for me to join him there & be with him ASAP ...

& / or

he was a good guy while he was here ...

i'd tell him, "You rock. i can't wait to see you and @!!$$# with you again real soon. You bring the cuffs & i'll bring the rope. i'll wait for you baby, until the cows come home, or until i believe otherwise.".



SCENARIO #2
IF this were me and .......

he had no intentions of coming back to live in the same town any time soon...

&

with no mention nor plan having been put into effect for me to join him there and be with him ASAP ...

&

he was a good guy while he was here ...

i'd tell him, "It was nice while it lasted. i'll recall the memories with a sincere fondness. i'll miss you. Perhaps our paths may cross again one day, perhaps not. Have a great life regardless.".

SCENARIO #3

IF this were me and .......

he had no intentions of coming back to live in the same town any time soon...

&

with no mention nor plan having been put into effect for me to join him there with him ASAP ...

&

he was a total loser while he was here ...

i'd tell him, "i'm sure i'll be better off without you. i'll recall the memories with a fondness comparable to those of a trick missing a prostitute with a bad case of crabs. i'll miss you like a recovering alcoholic misses hangovers. Perhaps our paths may cross again one day, if so, i hope my tire threads leave deep marks over your heartless chest. Have a great life you miserable excuse for a man, regardless. Mine just got better, already.".


Since i really don't know all of the details, Cherrysweetdeal ... you'll have to choose which scenario works best for you. If none of the scenarios seem fitting, if nothing more, perhaps my ideas at least made you laugh for a sec or two.

Regardless, good luck. Hurting sucks .. i know. But when it really gets THAT bad ... it can only get better.

 

[kerker_miester]

i can only think on the 'if this were me' side of the scenario.


SCENARIO #1
IF this were me and .......

he had sincere intentions of coming back to live in the same town soon enough for me to feel it would be worth the wait...

& /or

plans were in effect for me to join him there & be with him ASAP ...

& / or

he was a good guy while he was here ...

i'd tell him, "You rock. i can't wait to see you and @!!$$# with you again real soon. You bring the cuffs & i'll bring the rope. i'll wait for you baby, until the cows come home, or until i believe otherwise.".



SCENARIO #2
IF this were me and .......

he had no intentions of coming back to live in the same town any time soon...

&

with no mention nor plan having been put into effect for me to join him there and be with him ASAP ...

&

he was a good guy while he was here ...

i'd tell him, "It was nice while it lasted. i'll recall the memories with a sincere fondness. i'll miss you. Perhaps our paths may cross again one day, perhaps not. Have a great life regardless.".

SCENARIO #3

IF this were me and .......

he had no intentions of coming back to live in the same town any time soon...

&

with no mention nor plan having been put into effect for me to join him there with him ASAP ...

&

he was a total loser while he was here ...

i'd tell him, "i'm sure i'll be better off without you. i'll recall the memories with a fondness comparable to those of a trick missing a prostitute with a bad case of crabs. i'll miss you like a recovering alcoholic misses hangovers. Perhaps our paths may cross again one day, if so, i hope my tire threads leave deep marks over your heartless chest. Have a great life you miserable excuse for a man, regardless. Mine just got better, already.".


Since i really don't know all of the details, Cherrysweetdeal ... you'll have to choose which scenario works best for you. If none of the scenarios seem fitting, if nothing more, perhaps my ideas at least made you laugh for a sec or two.

Regardless, good luck. Hurting sucks .. i know. But when it really gets THAT bad ... it can only get better.

Thats what I like sinn a strait shooter

 

[Softouch911]

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking, cherrysweetdeal.

I read your post twice and I'm wondering if you are asking if it's okay for you to cyber with others ... to get your pleasure from perhaps subbing for someone else while he's gone.

I wonder why you didn't identify your bf as your top, or Dom ....

Am I asking too many questions? If I read you right, then I have no idea how to answer. If Sinnocent read it correctly, you can't do better than what she said.

In any case, and eithere way, talk it out and see how you feel .... I mean other than crappy. The next time I see My pita is months and months away ... I don't know what I'll do when I see her.

 

[Cherrysweetdeal]

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking, cherrysweetdeal.

I read your post twice and I'm wondering if you are asking if it's okay for you to cyber with others ... to get your pleasure from perhaps subbing for someone else while he's gone.

I wonder why you didn't identify your bf as your top, or Dom ....

Am I asking too many questions? If I read you right, then I have no idea how to answer. If Sinnocent read it correctly, you can't do better than what she said.

In any case, and eithere way, talk it out and see how you feel .... I mean other than crappy. The next time I see My pita is months and months away ... I don't know what I'll do when I see her.

He isn't a top or Dom as of yet because he only controls me in the bedroom. At the moment I don't know whether or not to take it further so I currently just experiment and am to afraid to lose him as a friend to ask for submission beyond the bedroom. There are never to many questions in my opinion btw.

My question is more of whether it is right or healthy to mask emotional pain by serving someone for atleast a short amount of time. Basically is it mentally healthy to replace any painful emotions with submission and sexuality?

As it is my sexuality that sometimes governs my thoughts I get confused once in awhile. I apologize if I confused anyone.

cherry

 

[chris9]

My question is more of whether it is right or healthy to mask emotional pain by serving someone for atleast a short amount of time. Basically is it mentally healthy to replace any painful emotions with submission and sexuality?

If I understand you correctly you are thinking about serving someone else (not your bf). So I now base my response on this, if I misunderstood you, I apologize. Personally I wouldn't think it right to 'replace' your bf, even 'only' online. So far I found that long-distance relationships only work with honesty and trust on both sides. So I guess if he is ok with you exploring some other relationship, go ahead.
I agree though that finding something to replace painful emotions is extremely important to your well-being. For me reading good books helps, but also sex-thoughts, masturbation... I just wouldn't think that on the long run having a third party involved would solve any problems. Quite on the contrary...