Instructions. WTF?

[warrior queen]

Instructions for a model helicopter...

'Please to be unscrewed. Batteries inserted, taking care to invert the other one. Once active, the flying is achieved by toggle. For recharge, must be to turn. Indoor fly recommended, wind may damage. Do not use in water.'

Yeah, we understood all that

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

Do you own one of these below?

if so, i bought my nephew the same one for xmas
an that shit is heavy duty when it comes to crashing against stuff
an he happen to fly that shit into water an powder mix for the pasteles
an it still works.​

 

[TonyClifton]

Please to be unscrewed. Batteries inserted, taking care to invert the other one. Once active, the flying is achieved by toggle. For recharge, must be to turn. Indoor fly recommended, wind may damage. Do not use in water.

You just said the second best funniest comment this month.

"Please to be unscrewed."

 

[Squibbs]

Instructions for a model helicopter...

'Please to be unscrewed. Batteries inserted, taking care to invert the other one. Once active, the flying is achieved by toggle. For recharge, must be to turn. Indoor fly recommended, wind may damage. Do not use in water.'

Yeah, we understood all that

If you can't get the jist of what to do, you are beyond help.

 

[phrodeau]

Proper English can still be puzzling. I read this in a Singer sewing machine manual.

Problem: The machine is noisy.
Cause: Lint or oil have collected on the hook or needle bar.
Correction: Clean the hook and feed dog as described.

So I fed the dog.

 

[blobfish]

Chinglish can be quite humorous. I'll post a funny example later.

 

[warrior queen]

We've figured it out.
What they meant about recharging, is the controller has to be turned off.
Flies well

 

[lovetoread]

Chinglish can be quite humorous. I'll post a funny example later.

Are you being an Asian racist again?

 

[blobfish]

Are you being an Asian racist again?

No! That's what it's called.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinglish

 

[gardenia19]

Too funny. My nephew got one of those helicopters a pp posted. I'll have to ask him about the instructions.

 

[blondebabydoll]

Yes! I have a love for badly translated things. Check out Engrish.com ... hilarious!

 

[oggbashan]

Are Your Balls Healthy?

Synopsis of the Healthy Ball

Being a traditional product of Baoding City, the Healthy Ball is famous throughout China and all over the world. This history of the Ball can be traced back as early as the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644 AD) when it first Came out.

Solid at the beginning, it was used to build up physical strength and limber up the joints, as well as a tool for self-defence. It remained solid until the Qing Dynasty (1644 - 1911 AD), when it was fashioned into a hollow one with a soundboard inside. Since then, the Ball has been handed down to now and known as "Double Balls of Roaring Dragon and Singing Phoenix", for two balls are usually played together and sound different tones.

When the Healthy Ball came out, it was used to improve physical conditions and mould temperament, and enjoyed wider and wider popularity among the people market. Later on, universally acknowledged by the medical circle, it has been used as a medical appliance, and can be played at any time and any place.

The Ball has the functions of stimulating the circulation of the blood and relaxing muscles and joints. It is also used for the prevention and cure of the numbness and trembling of hands, the arthritis in fingers and wrists, and hypertension etc. With beautiful sound and the function of noise elimination, the Ball can adjust the nerve centre, benefit the brain, improve the faculty of memory, help get over mental fatigue and prolong people's life.

Specialised in manufacturing different kinds of steel balls, our factory possessed complete sets of grinding equipments. the Healthy Balls are manufactured with advanced technology and the most skilful techniques. the finest materials are used, perfect measuring and testing instruemnets and methods adopted, thus making the quality reliable and the tones of the Balls heautiful.

Three types of the Balls are offered, they are one. two. three. Suitable Balls can be chosen and used by any people, no matter old or young, men or women.

Method of Playing: Holding two Balls in one hand, moving them with the five fingers clockwise or counter clockwise. Having become skilful you can try to play three or four Balls in one hand at the same time.

Maintenance: The Ball should be, after being used, wiped with soft cloth, stored in box at dry place, and kept away from damp and water.

The purpose of our factory is to satisfy the demands of our customers. Your orders on our products are welcome and the ordering process simplified. The Balls can be ordered through telegram and letter and consigned to your hands. Our service is always ready for your convenience.

If you want to buy the Balls, please let us know your whole name and complete address as wall as the types, the amount of the balls you need.

Address of our factory:

The Steel Ball Factory of Baoding, No. 6 Limin Road, Baoding, Hebei Province, China.

An Xin Handicraft Factory BaoDing, China
Address: No 8 Xi Gao Zhuang Hong
Qi Road
BaoDing
Telephone 235488 Cable 0874 Postcode 071000

***********

 

[TonyClifton]

Synopsis of the Healthy Ball

Being a traditional product of Baoding City, the Healthy Ball is famous throughout China and all over the world. This history of the Ball can be traced back as early as the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644 AD) when it first Came out.

Solid at the beginning, it was used to build up physical strength and limber up the joints, as well as a tool for self-defence. It remained solid until the Qing Dynasty (1644 - 1911 AD), when it was fashioned into a hollow one with a soundboard inside. Since then, the Ball has been handed down to now and known as "Double Balls of Roaring Dragon and Singing Phoenix", for two balls are usually played together and sound different tones.

When the Healthy Ball came out, it was used to improve physical conditions and mould temperament, and enjoyed wider and wider popularity among the people market. Later on, universally acknowledged by the medical circle, it has been used as a medical appliance, and can be played at any time and any place.

The Ball has the functions of stimulating the circulation of the blood and relaxing muscles and joints. It is also used for the prevention and cure of the numbness and trembling of hands, the arthritis in fingers and wrists, and hypertension etc. With beautiful sound and the function of noise elimination, the Ball can adjust the nerve centre, benefit the brain, improve the faculty of memory, help get over mental fatigue and prolong people's life.

Specialised in manufacturing different kinds of steel balls, our factory possessed complete sets of grinding equipments. the Healthy Balls are manufactured with advanced technology and the most skilful techniques. the finest materials are used, perfect measuring and testing instruemnets and methods adopted, thus making the quality reliable and the tones of the Balls heautiful.

Three types of the Balls are offered, they are one. two. three. Suitable Balls can be chosen and used by any people, no matter old or young, men or women.

Method of Playing: Holding two Balls in one hand, moving them with the five fingers clockwise or counter clockwise. Having become skilful you can try to play three or four Balls in one hand at the same time.

Maintenance: The Ball should be, after being used, wiped with soft cloth, stored in box at dry place, and kept away from damp and water.

The purpose of our factory is to satisfy the demands of our customers. Your orders on our products are welcome and the ordering process simplified. The Balls can be ordered through telegram and letter and consigned to your hands. Our service is always ready for your convenience.

If you want to buy the Balls, please let us know your whole name and complete address as wall as the types, the amount of the balls you need.

Address of our factory:

The Steel Ball Factory of Baoding, No. 6 Limin Road, Baoding, Hebei Province, China.

An Xin Handicraft Factory BaoDing, China
Address: No 8 Xi Gao Zhuang Hong
Qi Road
BaoDing
Telephone 235488 Cable 0874 Postcode 071000

***********

 

[oggbashan]

You want boring?

I can do much better than that...

 

[Aquagal]

Proper English can still be puzzling. I read this in a Singer sewing machine manual.

Problem: The machine is noisy.
Cause: Lint or oil have collected on the hook or needle bar.
Correction: Clean the hook and feed dog as described.

So I fed the dog.

Your sewing skills are lacking then.

 

[phrodeau]

Your sewing skills are lacking then.

I can sew very well. I'm not quite as good with a sewing machine yet.

 

[Aquagal]

I can sew very well. I'm not quite as good with a sewing machine yet.

Okay, my apologies. This dog feeding prefers to be fed fabric.

 

[mustang200]

Ummmm... never mind.

 

[QueenLevitra]

Okay, my apologies. This dog feeding prefers to be fed fabric.

What she said.

In man speak: The toothed track that moves up and down and one notch back under the presser foot.

Also, watch your seam allowance.

 

[McKenna]

Or, as the case may be, a better translator.

 

[phrodeau]

Okay, my apologies. This dog feeding prefers to be fed fabric.

What she said.

In man speak: The toothed track that moves up and down and one notch back under the presser foot.

Also, watch your seam allowance.

Thanks much. Learning the jargon is half the battle.

 

[QueenLevitra]

Thanks much. Learning the jargon is half the battle.

Welcome.

Feed dogs are a relatively new invention as the treadle I inherited doesn't have them.

Yet, it will stitch stainless to stainless without breaking a needle.

Hand stitching. My first stress reliever.

 

[Aquagal]

I've been a sewing fool this month, yet I suck ass at hand stitching. Looks like an 8 yr old did it.

 

[QueenLevitra]

I've been a sewing fool this month, yet I suck ass at hand stitching. Looks like an 8 yr old did it.

Measure twice, cut once, pin well, and relax into it.

Watch your tension, it matters, and make small stitches.

Good thread is hard to get these days.

 

[Aquagal]

Measure twice, cut once, pin well, and relax into it.

Watch your tension, it matters, and make small stitches.

Good thread is hard to get these days.

That slip stitch gets me every time. I've made tailored lined dresses, vests and coats...and the slip stitch looks awful!