Instruction Labels

[DannyBoyUK]

These are all genuine extracts !

ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

 

[QuickDuck]

Next time you are in a hotel, have a look on the hair dryer they provide in the bathroom.

the little tag about half way down the power cord...

"DO NOT USE IN THE SHOWER" ... hmmm makes you wonder about some idiot standing under the shower wondering why their hair is not drying.

I thought it was going to say something like "property of Hilton Hotels" or something meaningful *lol*

/wave
QuickDuck

 

[Private Vasquez]

Harmful if Swallowed is on too many things. Things that are obviously not to be ingested.

 

[metal_minx]

the sad thing is all those warnings are there because of some poor dumb slob

 

[scylis]

Scylis' First Rule: people are stupid

such labels, no matter how stupid they sound, protect the manufacturer or vendor from lawsuit.

 

[metal_minx]

remember that old lady & the mcdonalds coffee...winning all that money..shit she had like 80 years to figure out coffee was hot!

 

[OpposingBalance]

OMFG
*choking* cant breathe*

I almost fell out of my chair reading those, lol.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

Alarming is the fact that the people for whom such labels are provided are allowed to vote, do jury service etc etc

 

[metal_minx]

Alarming is the fact that the people for whom such labels are provided are allowed to vote, do jury service etc etc

whats even scarier is that they are allowed to breed

 

[Charlotte Blanchard]

I like the warning sticker signs on certain things like electronic gates and such, the ones with little vector graphic people with round heads getting squished by a gate or getting their head rammed into a windshield. Those constantly crack me up. I went and had a few tee shirts made with the pictures on them, one of a person flying through a car windshield, one of a person jammed in an electric gate and one of a person being shocked by high voltage. I am sick, but i swear every time I wear them, people ask me where they can get one.

Do they really have to tell us not to swallow a Volkkswagon? Really? And if stupid people swallowed a hampster cage and died, would anyone REALLY care?

 

[J.B.]

ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.

Man! & here I thought I'd save myself som time

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.

I hope so.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

What else is there to use them as????

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ok I think I got it. so it's open first then eat. OK

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Re: Instruction Labels

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

What else is there to use them as????
ok I think I got it. so it's open first then eat. OK

I think they mean are only safe when when you run them out a window so half is indoors and half is outdoors.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

I always find the signs saying MIND YOUR HEAD (when a low ceiling is coming up) to be unbelievable !