Instincts

[Allexus_TN]

This is for everyone, probably more so the ladies.

I recently had a "funny" feeling about someone here at Lit. I paid attention to that feeling in the pit of my stomach. And some other clues. I recently found out that paying attention to my instincts about this person paid off. I could have been in the middle of a very nasty situation.

Always listen to your instincts.

 

[HeavyStick]

you make it sound like this place can be a soap opera at times......

 

[Sillyman]

It's good idea to trust your gut. Intuition should not be undervalued.

 

[Allexus_TN]

you make it sound like this place can be a soap opera at times......

Not what I was going for at all. I am trying to be very serious here. Trust your instincts. It could have been what saved me.

 

[unclej]

good for you. instincts, hunches, intuition...they're all there for a reason...to keep you out of trouble mostly. So you just keep on listening to them. I'll promise you that every time i've ignored mine i've gotten burned.

 

[Allexus_TN]

good for you. instincts, hunches, intuition...they're all there for a reason...to keep you out of trouble mostly. So you just keep on listening to them. I'll promise you that every time i've ignored mine i've gotten burned.

I get the feeling that if I hadn't ignored them, I might have been...well...missing. I think that this particular person might be a real predator here.

 

[Nora]

It's also a good reason to go slowly getting to know people online. Sometimes you don't get the full jolt telling you that someone's a scuzzbag until you're a ways into getting familiar with them.

 

[LukkyKnight]

This is for everyone, probably more so the ladies.

I recently had a "funny" feeling about someone here at Lit. I paid attention to that feeling in the pit of my stomach. And some other clues. I recently found out that paying attention to my instincts about this person paid off. I could have been in the middle of a very nasty situation.

Always listen to your instincts.

Women are generally better at respecting the inner voices, Allexus, so I think you should direct the thread to the men.

We all perceive patterns we cannot prove logically add up, and they are valid.

 

[Allexus_TN]

It's also a good reason to go slowly getting to know people online. Sometimes you don't get the full jolt telling you that someone's a scuzzbag until you're a ways into getting familiar with them.

It didn't take long this time. Amazing.

 

[intrigued]

Amen.

I'm very big on this subject, and recommend a book about this quite frequently because it has really helped me. My instincts have served me well many times online, and are doing so everyday.
The only thing thats tricky, is when your heart is involved, online or offline.


Oh, the book is by Gavin DeBecker, "The gift of fear: Survival signals that protect us from violence" Its about so much more than just violence, and I think that anyone that can read, should read this book.

A little along this lines, I've been wondering about something all day. When you are really happy, do you find that is when you are most emotionally vulnerable? Maybe even to the point of becoming a second little voice/instinct...and talking yourself right out of your happiness?

 

[Allexus_TN]

Re: Re: Instincts

We all perceive patterns we cannot prove logically add up, and they are valid.

Too many patterns, too quickly. And now I"m getting slammed with those patterns and lies and, frankly, line after line of bullshit. This guy targets women here. I know that know. I just want the ladies to be careful. Its so hard to warn ya when I can't slanderize him using his name. So I'm being general. Trust those instincts ladies. Really do.

 

[Freya]

The biggest fear online is the anonymity..people can be whoever they want to be....have their life story however they dream it up to be. I recently went through this (not the predator part, thank god), and found out essentially everything I had been told was a total and absolute lie.

I also know someone else who had a scare recently with a potential stalker type...thankfully she also listened to her instincts and got out before it got too bad...it was still very scary for her though.

And Intrigued...yes, I do that.

 

[intrigued]

I've gotten that feeling myself...and I can't say a word either. Wouldn't matter, they never post...

 

[LukkyKnight]

Re: Re: Re: Instincts

...This guy targets women here. I know that know. I just want the ladies to be careful. Its so hard to warn ya when I can't slanderize him using his name. So I'm being general. Trust those instincts ladies. Really do.

Ah, well then yes, this is a thread best targeted a bit at the female readers, but the overall point is still true for everybody without reference to gender.

Sadly, predators haunt the watering holes and game-trails no matter if the jungle is a remote unspoiled equatorial eden, an urban jungle, or the internet. It is inevitable, that is where their work is easiest.

 

[SailorC272002]

Re: Re: Re: Instincts

Too many patterns, too quickly. And now I"m getting slammed with those patterns and lies and, frankly, line after line of bullshit. This guy targets women here. I know that know. I just want the ladies to be careful. Its so hard to warn ya when I can't slanderize him using his name. So I'm being general. Trust those instincts ladies. Really do.

My 2 cents. Do not trust your instincts. Feelings can get in the way. Treat anybody here like anyone else you would meet. Do not give traceable details, Meet only in public places. Let someone else know your whereabouts. Make them earn your trust. A truly trustworthy person will be just as wary of you. The internet is a dangerous place. Go very slow.

 

[Allexus_TN]

I also know someone else who had a scare recently with a potential stalker type...thankfully she also listened to her instincts and got out before it got too bad...it was still very scary for her though.

Yes, it is very scary. I talked to Kitte about it. She was worried from the word go, and it took me a bit longer to see it. And now, I wonder with a bit of insanity, what would have happened if I had kept on with it? Then I thank God I didn't.

 

[Freya]

I've gotten that feeling myself...and I can't say a word either. Wouldn't matter, they never post...

What do you mean by this Intrigued?

 

[Freya]

Yes, it is very scary. I talked to Kitte about it. She was worried from the word go, and it took me a bit longer to see it. And now, I wonder with a bit of insanity, what would have happened if I had kept on with it? Then I thank God I didn't.

It's funny what others see before you do yourself...but then it seems they don't want to offend by mentioning it, or are scared that they are wrong....but they worry that you'll be hurt the whole time.

 

[Allexus_TN]

It's funny what others see before you do yourself...but then it seems they don't want to offend by mentioning it, or are scared that they are wrong....but they worry that you'll be hurt the whole time.

She always does that for me, and vice versa. I'm thankful for her. I would not have started questioning the situation further if it hadn't been for her.

 

[intrigued]

What do you mean by this Intrigued?

Low post count.... is a member, would probably not be recognized easily just by ID.

 

[Lost Cause]

Strong is the "Force" in you, erherherherher!

 

[LukkyKnight]

I'm sticking to my belief that one must trust one's instincts. Those who suggest otherwise are using the word differently.

 

[LordLucan74]

Some Thoughts

When it comes to internet/on-line interactions and relationships, I too have found that people can be disengenuous. Yes, it is good to be cautious and wary when "getting involved" with someone via this medium. Like intrigued said, very often these types don't interact much in public. Also, they seem to prefer private messages and have low post counts. They also don't reveal much about themselves in a material way when they do post. The focus is on the "stalked." Finally, those who have little information in their profiles would merit suspiscion as well.

I, on the other hand, talk too much and often tell too much LOL. It is a wonder I have not gotten into trouble really!!!

 

[SempreAngela]

ALWAYS listen to the little voice inside of you. It is there and it will never steer you wrong. I know from personal experience.

 

[Shhh]

Identify the accused

Advice to trust one's instincts is...well...I don't wanna say worthless...instincts have their uses, but we do live in a paranoid world and communicate in a paranoia inducing medium.
How many times do you hear someone say, "My instincts said it was all good, but it turned out to be a disaster!" ...or, "My instincts told me to run like hell, but it turned out that he was a really nice guy." ???
Point is, you only notice the accuracy of your "instincts" when they're on the mark.

If some sleazy dirtbag was harassing, stalking, lying, playing, fucking you over in some way, you ought to stand up and identify the weasel (ummm....unless it was me. Was it me? Nah...I'm harmless).

You always hear about the pedophile who kidnaps a child he met in a chatroom. You never hear about the people who meet, fall in love and live happily ever after (assuming some folks live happily ever after).

Guess what I'm saying is this: Identifying the cretin is not slander. It's truth. The generic message "trust your instincts - there's a dirtbag on the loose" only serves to increase fear and paranoia.