Inspired by DCL, more fun with movie scripts.

[modest mouse]

I'll post chunks of a script until someone guesses the correct movie. Woohoo!


Opening Scene:

OVER BLACK:

VOICE OVER
My name is H. I. McDunnough...

A WALL

With horizontal hatch lines.

VOICE OVER
...Call me Hi.

A disheveled young man in a gaily colored Hawaiian shirt is
launched into frame by someone offscreen.

He holds a printed paddle that reads "NO. 1468-6 NOV. 29
79."

The hatch marks on the wall behind him are apparently height
markers.

VOICE OVER
...The first time I met Ed was in
the county lock-up in Tempe,
Arizona...

FLASH

As his picture is taken.

CLOSEUP

On the paddle: "NOV. 29 79."

VOICE OVER
...a day I'll never forget.

A bellowing male voice from offscreen:

SHERIFF
Don't forget the profile, Ed!

ANGLE ON THE STILL CAMERA

It is mounted on a tripod. A pretty young woman in a severe
police uniform peers out from behind it.

WOMAN
Turn to the right.

HI
What kind of name is Ed for a pretty
thing like you?

ED
Short for Edwinna. Turn to the right!

HI obliges, but still looks at Ed out of the corner of his
eye.

HI
You're a flower, you are. Just a
little desert flower.

FLASH

On his eye-skewed profile.

HI
Lemme know how those come out.

 

[Rhys]

Raising Arizona

 

[modest mouse]

Well done, Rhys.

Another opening scene:

INT: BEDROOM. EARLY-MORNING HOURS

A DOG sleeps on a neatly made bed.

A CLOCK reads twenty to six.

A SHELF OF BOOKS holds such classics as Dante's Inferno,
Beyond Good and Evil, The Catcher in the Rye, and The Dark
Knight Returns. A FRAMED DIPLOMA, dusty and unkempt, hangs
askew on the wall. A snapshot of a girl is stuck in the
corner, and a bra weighs one end down. A PHONE sits quietly
atop a bundle of laundry. It suddenly explodes with a
resounding ring-once, twice, three times. A CLOSET DOOR swings
open, and a half-clad figure falls out. THE PHONE rings yet
again, and a hand falls upon the receiver, yanking it off
the trash can, O.C. THE RUMPLED FIGURE lays with his back to
the camera, phone in hand.

FIGURE
(groggily)
Hello... What?... No, I don't work
today... I'm playing hockey at two.

THE DOG yawns and shakes its head.

FIGURE (O.S.)
Why don't you call Randal?... Because
I'm fucking tired... I just closed
last night...
(deep sigh)
Jesus... What time are you going to
come in?... Twelve... Be there be
twelve?... Swear...

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

You got me. "Summer School"?

 

[Rhys]

Clerks

 

[Summery]

Yes, it's Clerks.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Haven't seen it yet.

 

[modest mouse]

Yup, it was Clerks. Worth watching, DCL, even if only to prove that a $30.000 movie can be entertaining. It does seem a bit dated now.

Yet another opening scene:

FADE IN

1 EXT. CONSTELLATION OF ORION - NIGHT

Stars glitter like diamonds on the black velvet backdrop of space.
The Belt of Orion is center screen, but much nearer and larger
than ever seen by an Earth-bound astronomer.

A speck of light appears in the lower left corner of the screen.
No spaceship can be seen, but only a glowworm, a solitary sperma-
tosoan gliding through the womb of the universe. Over this we HEAR
the voice of an astronaut. He is concluding a report.

ASTRONAUT'S VOICE
(o.s.)
So ends my last signal until we reach
our destination. We are now on automatic,
a mere hundred and five light years from
our base ... and at the mercy of com-
puters. I've tucked in my crew for the
long sleep. I'll join them presently.

2 INT. CABIN OF SPACESHIP - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

The cabin is neither cramped nor spacious, but about the size of the
President's cabin in Air Force One. In the immediate f.g. is a console
of dials and switches flanked by four chairs. Only one of the chairs
is occupied. The astronaut's back is to CAMERA. There is a ladder
amidships which leads to an escape hatch. The after Dart of the cabin
is obscured in darkness. We hear the MUSIC of a Mozart sonata emanating
from a phonograph of stereotape. The astronaut is speaking into a
microphone.

ASTRONAUT
Within the hour we shall complete
the sixth month of our flight from
Cape Kennedy. By our time, that is ...

He pauses, looking up at:

3 TWO LARGE CLOCKS - ON CABIN WALL

One clock is marked SELF TIME, but instead of twelve numerals it has
twenty-four. One of the needles is moving very slowly.

The other clock is labeled EARTH TIME, and its units, like those of a
tachometer, are given by hundreds and thousands.

The largest needle of this clock makes one revolution every second.
Over this we hear:

ASTRONAUT'S VOICE
(o.s.)
But according to Dr. Hasslein theory of
time in a vehicle traveling at close to
the speed of light, old Mother Earth has
aged a few thousand years since our de-
parture -- while we have scarcely aged
at all.

 

[Problem Child]

Planet of the apes (original)

 

[Rhys]

Original Planet of the Apes...(Charleton Heston version)

 

[Problem Child]

This one's not too tough...

INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

On VIDEO: JANE BURNHAM lays in bed, wearing a tank top. She's sixteen, with dark, intense eyes.

JANE

I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school.

(snorts)

What a lame-o. Somebody really should put him out of his misery.

Her mind wanders for a beat.

RICKY (O.C.)

Want me to kill him for you?

Jane looks at us and sits up.

JANE

(deadpan)

Yeah, would you?

FADE TO BLACK.

FADE IN:

EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - EARLY MORNING

We're FLYING above suburban America, DESCENDING SLOWLY toward a tree-lined street.

LESTER (V.O.)

My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood. This is my street. This... is my life. I'm forty-two years old. In less than a year, I'll be dead.

 

[lavender]

 

[Summery]

American Beauty

 

[modest mouse]

American Beauty. (I hated this movie)

This one might be tougher than the rest. Good work on planet of the apes.

Another opening scene:

EXT. AIRFIELD - DAY

We are moving through a small airfield full of parked light
planes. There are no people around. We move through the cluster of
planes towards a hangar on the edge of the field.


INT. HANGAR - DAY

We are still moving through light planes, but now we are inside
the hangar. Some of the planes have their engine covers open,
parts strewn around. Others are partially covered with tarps or
have sections missing. There is even a sleek executive jet parked
in one corner.

As we float past the planes we notice a woman leaning against the
wing of a Piper Cub, her chest against the wings trailing edge,
her arms spread out to each side, as though flying herself. As we
get closer we see that her jacket is pulled open to expose one of
her breasts, which rests on the metal of the wing.

CLOSEUP - Breast on metal.

CLOSEUP - Hard nipple and rivets.

 

[Problem Child]

American Beauty

Yes. The last line there totally gives it away.

I'm going to name my firstborn male child Lester Burnham.

 

[Rhys]

I don't recognise that one...how about this:

FADE IN:

1 EXT. DESERT NILE RIVER VALLEY - DAY

Somewhere in the Nile at the edge of the desert.

CREDITS ROLL

WRITTEN: EGYPT 1913

OMAR and his mule zigzag along the bottom of sun scorched dunes.

2 EXT. TEMPLE EXCAVATION - DAY

The mule and the boy finally reach a camp. A few tents dwarfed by a huge temple door jutting out of the sand. The camp is deserted except for some kids by the temple entrance holding large mirrors, reflecting light into the temple.
Omar leaves his mule in the shade, seizes two goatskins and slips inside the temple.

3 INT. TEMPLE - DAY

Omar makes his way uneasily down a pillared corridor that opens into a vast room where an old scientist stands on a small wooden ladder in front of the wall across the room. PROFESSOR MASSIMO PACOLI. A young man is beside him, BILLY MASTERSON, age 25, an American student. He has a large sketchpad in his hands. Behind them AZIZ, age 10, whose job is to hold the last mirror which shines light into the expansive room.

PROFESSOR
(deciphering)
"..when the three planets are in eclipse.."

His fingers trace across the wall which is covered with symbols and strange hieroglyphs as he deciphers.

PROFESSOR
"..the black hole like a door is open...
Evil comes ... sowing terror and chaos..."
See? The snake, Billy. The Ultimate Evil
... make sure you get the snake!

The Professor points emphatically to the snake, the symbol of Evil, coming through the door between the three planets in eclipse. C.U. Billy's hand sketches the snake quickly. He is a natural artist.

BILLY
And when is this door opening snake act
supposed to occur?

The Professor's fingers touch the signs.

PROFESSOR
..if this is the five..and this the thousand..

He calculates.

PROFESSOR
Every five thousand years..

BILLY
(kidding)
So I have some time..

 

[modest mouse]

Is that The Fifth Element?

***

More from the movie I posted.....

Catherine is dressed more for a smart lunch with an airline
executive than to visit her husband in hospital.

CATHERINE
There, that's better.

JAMES
Thank you.

James examines himself in her hand-mirror, staring at his pale,
mannequin-like face, trying to read its lines.

Catherine looks around her as she puts her makeup away. There are
twenty-three other beds in the briskly efficient new ward, all of
them empty.

CATHERINE
Not a lot of action here.

JAMES
They consider this to be the airport
hospital. This ward is reserved for air-
crash victims. The beds are kept waiting.

CATHERINE
If I groundloop during my flying lesson on
Saturday you might wake up and find me
next to you.

JAMES
I'll listen for you buzzing over.

 

[Problem Child]

The Fifth Element

 

[Rhys]

Uh...The English Patient???

and yes that was Fifth Element.

 

[modest mouse]

Nope, not the English Patient.

more...

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

We are looking at the words Little Bastard. written in black
script on silver metal, enamel on unpainted aluminum. We pull back
to reveal the entire metal object, which is a less Porsche 550
Spyder race car. It is small and curvaceous, and is being fussed
over by several men in overalls. The number .130" is painted on
its hood and doors.

The Porsche sits on a country road, two-lane blacktop, heavily
wooded, lit by a series of movie lights. On the hills lining the
road have been erected a few rough wooden stands.

A blonde man - Vaughan - stands near the rear of the Porsche, a
microphone-in his hand. His voice floats eerily out of the woods
from speakers mounted on a series of pine trees.

VAUGHAN
(speakers)
"Don't worry, that guy's gotta see us!"
These were the confident last words of the
brilliant young Hollywood star James Dean
as he piloted his Porsche 550 Spyder race
car towards a date with death on a lonely
stretch of California two-lane blacktop,
Route 466. Don't worry, that guy's gotta
see us". The year, 1955; the day,
September 30th; the time: Now.

 

[Rhys]

Ya got me.

 

[Problem Child]

Crash

 

[modest mouse]

Its one of my favorite movies for its imagery, but as I read the screenplay its interesting to note the descriptions.

More ...

INT. BALLARD APT. - NIGHT

James and Catherine lie naked in bed, she with her back to him,
her buttocks pressed into his groin. He is inside her.

CATHERINE
He must have tucked a lot of women in that
huge car of his. It's like a bed on
wheels. It must smell of semen...

JAMES
It does.

CATHERINE
Do you find him attractive?

JAMES
He's very pale. Covered with scars.

CATHERINE
Would you like to tuck him, though? In
that car?

JAMES
No. But when he's in that car...

CATHERINE
Have you seen his penis?

JAMES
I think it's badly scarred too. From a
motorcycle accident.

CATHERINE
Is he circumcised? Can you imagine what
his anus is like? Describe it to me. Would
you like to sodomize him? Would you like
to put your penis right into his anus,
thrust it up his anus? Tell me, describe
it to me. Tell me what you would do. How
would you kiss him in that car? Describe
how you'd reach over and unzip his greasy
jeans, then take out his penis. Would you
kiss it or suck it right away? Which hand
would you hold it in? Have you ever sucked
a penis? Do you know what semen tastes
like? Have you ever tasted semen? Some
semen is saltier than others. Vaughan's
semen must be very salty...

They both have huge orgasms within moments of each other.

***

Edited to add...... yup, Problem Child got it.

 

[modest mouse]

This one might prove difficult in that I dont know how many people have actually seen the movie.

Opening scene.....

EXT. TEXAS SCRUB -- DAY

Two men in shorts and Hawaiian shirts are poking around a
sandy section in the middle of scrub flats.

SERGEANT CLIFF POTTS is in the f.g., a plant-and-tree
guidebook in hand, as SERGEANT "MIKEY" HOGAN works a metal
detector over a large, sandy bank in the b.g. Both are Army
career men with a morning off to pursue their hobbies.

CLIFF
We got ocotillo, devil's walking
stick--what's this stuff--it's
that whattayoucallit--horse-
crippler.

Mikey bends to scoop something out of the sand, putting it
in a canvas bag slung on his bip

MIKEY
This place is a gold mine.

CLIFF
Lead mine.

MIKEY sees that Cliff is talking, pulls his headset off.

MIKEY
What?

CLIFF
It's a lead mine.

MIKEY
Right.

CLIFF
I don't know why I'm talking to
you, you've got that thing on
your head.

MIKEY
You finding lots of cactus and
shit?

CLIFF
It's not just cactus. There's
the nopals, the yuccas--

MIKEY
(Puts headset on)
Looks like a lot of cactus to me.

CLIFF
(Grumbles)
Man knows a hundred-fifty varieties
of beer, he can't tell a poinsettia
from a prickly pear.

MIKEY
(Troubled)
Cliff--

CLIFF
You live in a place, you should
know something about it. Explore--

MIKEY
Cliff--

CU MIKEY

MIKEY in the f.g. now, looking down at something as he pulls
his headset off again --

MIKEY
Cliff, you gotta look at this--

Cliff wearily turns and approaches from the b.g.

CLIFF
Don't tell me--Spanish treasure,
right? Pieces of eight from the
Coronado expedition--

He stops by Mikey and looks down, his expression changing

CLIFF
Jesus--

GROUND -- CU BONES

Sticking out from the sand bank are the SKELETAL BONES of a
MAN'S HAND. There is a ring on one finger.

MIKEY (O.S.)
Was Coronado in the Masons?

 

[seXieleXie]

rah! i've seen that one mouse and i can't fuckin' remember the name.

i'm going to get a sandwich. maybe it will come to me.