Insomnia

[sirhugs]

This sounds like the opposite of Grampa Wake Up. More of a "Daddy Go To Sleep" series, with more and more relatives roped in to take their turn fucking Daddy to sleep.

"roped in"???

do you picture this as a bondage piece?

 

[sirhugs]

I've never tried Uber Eats just for coffee, but I know someone who does.

All sorts of "tip the delivery person" potential there...

(of course in the story, to avoid legalities the deliveries are from Udder Eats).

 

[sirhugs]

what happens when the insomniac sleeps in?

 

[sirhugs]

what happens when the insomniac sleeps in?

the next day he wakes up even earlier, discovering a fresh slice of sexual intrigue or opportunity.

 

[sirhugs]

what happens when the insomniac sleeps in?

the next day he wakes up even earlier, discovering a fresh slice of sexual intrigue or opportunity.

so he tries sleeping in again, and...

 

[Hypoxia]

A Kansas City gal puts her insomnia to work for her by taking a job providing chatline tech support for customers in India. Misunderstandings ensue. Who's fooling whom?

 

[sirhugs]

what happens when the insomniac sleeps in?

A Kansas City gal puts her insomnia to work for her by taking a job providing chatline tech support for customers in India. Misunderstandings ensue. Who's fooling whom?

except the chat line turns out to be a sex line.

 

[Carnevil9]

except the chat line turns out to be a sex line.

Potato, potahto.

 

[sirhugs]

Potato, potahto.

as long as they aren't shoved up the rectum.

 

[Carnevil9]

as long as they aren't shoved up the rectum.

Rectum? Darn near killed 'um!

 

[AvroAnsonXIX]

except the chat line turns out to be a sex line.

Due to a linguistic misunderstanding she is hired into a huge multinational tech company as the training officer for technical support. Unable to tell a mouse from a thumb drive, she thought the job was for a phone sex worker. Something she has a lot of experience doing. Unable to communicate with her boss -- who is from Donunderstanistan and learned English watching 'Borat' -- she rolls with it, figuring she'll pocket the Benjamins until they discover she is unqualified.

But company tech nerds love the new service. The girls don't know anything about tech, but the previous ones weren't that great and they enjoy getting their rocks off. By the time upper management figures out what is going on the company has already been named "a best place to work in technology" by 4BS magazine, so her job is safe.

 

[AvroAnsonXIX]

As long as they (potatoes) aren't shoved up the rectum.

Just scrub them really well, use lots of unsalted butter, and forgo the aluminum foil. (They'll be ready in 12 hours.)

 

[sirhugs]

Due to a linguistic misunderstanding she is hired into a huge multinational tech company as the training officer for technical support. Unable to tell a mouse from a thumb drive, she thought the job was for a phone sex worker. Something she has a lot of experience doing. Unable to communicate with her boss -- who is from Donunderstanistan and learned English watching 'Borat' -- she rolls with it, figuring she'll pocket the Benjamins until they discover she is unqualified.

But company tech nerds love the new service. The girls don't know anything about tech, but the previous ones weren't that great and they enjoy getting their rocks off. By the time upper management figures out what is going on the company has already been named "a best place to work in technology" by 4BS magazine, so her job is safe.

it turns out that most of the answers are already i the database provided to the tech support workers. Her fleuncy in English makes her an outstanding worker. The sex play is just extra . The nerds that call in give her extra stars of course, but it might be more surprising that the housewives also rate her highly.

 

[Hypoxia]

as long as they aren't shoved up the rectum.

That's personal. Shove potatoes up automobile tailpipes. It's traditional.

Meanwhile, someone close to me was once an all-night phone-sex operator in Hollyweird. The off-hours work was packaging cheap bootleg compilation LPs. Many cow-orkers at both jobs were illegal aliens with varied abilities to speak and understand Angeleno Anglish. Many plot bunnies here.

 

[Carnevil9]

This place is getting weird.

I like that.

 

[sirhugs]

This place is getting weird.

I like that.

lack of sleep will do that. Both parts.

 

[sirhugs]

Lack of sleep will lead to thoughts of tentacle monsters too

 

[Hypoxia]

Lack of sleep will lead to thoughts of tentacle monsters too

Speak for yourself. Or maybe you do.

Meanwhile, think of insomniac tentacle monsters. Do cephalopods dream of electric eels? Think of their battles with sperm whales. Does that get you off?

 

[Carnevil9]

.....Do cephalopods dream of electric eels?......

I may have to use that as the title of my autobiography.

 

[sirhugs]

Do cephalopods dream of electric eels?

I may have to use that as the title of my autobiography.

That could be quite shocking

 

[sirhugs]

This morning is my own darn fault for staying up to watch a baseball game that went into extra innings.

Which suggests some version of a "falling asleep on the couch" tropes where our hero awakes to find

...who... sucking his cock? (I did rather well with a series that started that way, but a different time of day called Afternoon Nap Interrupted)

.... his wife? daughter? son? elederly parent? making out with their date on the literal love seat on the other side of the room?

... his spouse sneaking back in from the neighbours

... his secretly transgendered/crossdressing 20 year old sneaking back in before (s)he has a chance to change back to cis gender look

... that the last twenty years have all been a dream, and he is still a pimply virginal 20 year old dreaming about the ball girls who chase down foul balls.

in real life, and the reason I posted this this thread, I woke up an hour before my alarm just unable to sleep, in spite of or because of all I have to do today. Without even a midnight adventure to how for it.

 

[Hypoxia]

<snip>...Which suggests some version of a "falling asleep on the couch" tropes where our hero awakes to find

...who... sucking his cock? <snip>

.... his wife? daughter? son? elederly parent? making out with their date on the literal love seat on the other side of the room?

... his spouse sneaking back in from the neighbours

... his secretly transgendered/crossdressing 20 year old sneaking back in before (s)he has a chance to change back to cis gender look

... that the last twenty years have all been a dream, and he is still a pimply virginal 20 year old dreaming about the ball girls who chase down foul balls...

In bedroom, late at night--

She: You're drunk.
He: How do you know?
She: Because you live next door.

But I digress. Other settings for the waking-up-being-blown trope include:

* In Army barracks
* In tent at scout encampment
* In church pew during dull sermon
* In gov't office waiting room
* On subway ride home
* On park bench
* On blanket at public beach
* At family reunion
* At tennis match
* During surgery

 

[sirhugs]

In bedroom, late at night--

She: You're drunk.
He: How do you know?
She: Because you live next door.

I love it!

 

[sirhugs]

It seems to be my season for "meta" ideas. As I worked on a story (Grandpa ch 5) this morning,. I realized that it was because I woke up early and had extra time.

That made me think there is a story out there about a lonely Lit author who does the same. Just not sure how the hilarity comes along to ensue.

Too meta?

 

[Hypoxia]

Just not sure how the hilarity comes along to ensue.

Tentacles have not yet retracted back into the drain under the bed. LIT author senses them and is inspired. But why is a drain under her bed? 1) Wet sports. 2) Blood flow. 3) Tentacle access.