ZfrkS62
Tired of boredom
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2004
- Posts
- 2,552
I've been working on a story I had abandoned and forgotten about 5 years ago but recently came back to due to a new inspiration. I zoned out a bit while writing a section and in re-reading it, felt like it could be in a gray area regarding the underage rules, but given that it's sort of a comparison to a memory of earlier years, shouldn't rub anyone the wrong way. I'll leave the excerpt here, and let the committee cast their opinion/suggestions:
"He debated just letting go and letting her get him off quickly, or not focusing on the fact that she was now intensely rolling his glans between her slender fingers and squeezing harder. His knees became weak as the decision was made for him. The sensation reminded him of when he was a young teenager, learning what it took to get off in those early days of experimentation. Over doing it on the tip and feeling his muscles contract all over. His flashback was interrupted by his need to maintain his balance and not pull her down with him.."
What say you, experienced editors? Find another comparison, or should be fine?
"He debated just letting go and letting her get him off quickly, or not focusing on the fact that she was now intensely rolling his glans between her slender fingers and squeezing harder. His knees became weak as the decision was made for him. The sensation reminded him of when he was a young teenager, learning what it took to get off in those early days of experimentation. Over doing it on the tip and feeling his muscles contract all over. His flashback was interrupted by his need to maintain his balance and not pull her down with him.."
What say you, experienced editors? Find another comparison, or should be fine?