Information Needed

[wicked woman]

If he satisfied his curiosity, why didn't he get rid of the outfit? Why risk you finding out if he was never going to use it again?

My thoughts exactly. This doesn't ring true to me unless perhaps he secretly wanted you to find out.

 

[mystic_maiden32]

Is it possible that this was a Halloween costume? It sounds alot like a schoolgirl costume to me.

If he was a crossdresser, I'd expect to find alot more women's clothing than this one outfit.

I was thinking the same thing.Talk to him.

 

[Bobmi357]

Personally I don't buy it. I'm forced to keep coming back to a blouse thats too small for you, and him.

Something ain't right, but then I can't say for sure, WickedWoman's av is too distracting!

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Bobmi357


Something ain't right, but then I can't say for sure, WickedWoman's av is too distracting!

lol you on that kick again Bob? ooo la la

 

[Bobmi357]

lol you on that kick again Bob? ooo la la

I wouldn't want you to feel neglected

 

[Kissophile]

I think that Bobmi may be closer to the truth than we might like to think. The size issue bothers me as well.

I suggest you ask him to model the outfit for you. His response to your request will be telling. If he goes along with it it may be therapeutic for your relationship. If he refuses, his reasons for doing so may tell you a little more about where he stands with the CD.

In any event, you have a lot of work to do before it would be wise to say, "I do."

Good luck.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Bobmi357
I wouldn't want you to feel neglected

I feel a hijack coming on, so I'll be good and just say ...thanks

 

[Kissophile]

I feel a hijack coming on, so I'll be good and just say ...thanks

Oh, what the heck. I'll join the hijack.

Morning, WW.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Kissophile
Oh, what the heck. I'll join the hijack.

Morning, WW.

Morning ...but would you try on my AV? No need to answer...just trying to stay within the CD theme here...although both you and Bob are suggesting it's got nothing to do with CD...

 

[sxylegs]

Personally I don't buy it. I'm forced to keep coming back to a blouse thats too small for you, and him.

Something ain't right, but then I can't say for sure, WickedWoman's av is too distracting!

You said that you have only been together for 2 years.....I would assume that he wasnt a virgin when you met him......

It could be clothes from some hot evening that the lady left, and somehow the bag got put in the wrong place.......and he always thought that she would get them.......

I talked with a couple of my friends that have tried cross dressing, and after trying it a few times they dropped it because they werent curious anymore and they really werent interested....so what he said about being done.....could be true.

 

[SweetErika]

You said that you have only been together for 2 years.....I would assume that he wasnt a virgin when you met him......

It could be clothes from some hot evening that the lady left, and somehow the bag got put in the wrong place.......and he always thought that she would get them.......

I talked with a couple of my friends that have tried cross dressing, and after trying it a few times they dropped it because they werent curious anymore and they really werent interested....so what he said about being done.....could be true.

Not arguing here, Sxylegs, just my perspective ... If they were clothes another woman left, why would he keep them 2 years into another relationship AND admit he had been cross dressing when he thought that might end the relationship with SA? Did you friends keep the clothes they bought?

SA, do you two live together?

 

[SmilinAngel]

1) If he was just curious, why didn't he try on your clothes a couple of times? Why buy a whole outfit, shoes, bra, and all?

I didn't think of this, SE! I think the reason is that (and to answer you're most current question) is that we didn't move in together until May of this year. So, he didn't really have access to my clothes. He said he had bought them way before we were together and hasn't worn them since we've been together.

2) If he satisfied his curiosity, why didn't he get rid of the outfit? Why risk you finding out if he was never going to use it again?

Right! I asked him this too. He said that he had spent so much money on the outfit, so he figured he was going to wash it and give it to me later. The bra would fit me, and maybe the skirt ... I'm still out on the shirt, but the shoes would never fit, so I'm not sure why he didn't get rid of them ...

 

[SmilinAngel]

Personally I don't buy it. I'm forced to keep coming back to a blouse thats too small for you, and him.

Something ain't right, but then I can't say for sure, WickedWoman's av is too distracting!

Yeah, I thought of this too, but if what he says is true - that he bought it way before we were together - he may have been a lot thinner. I'm not sure. He doesn't like the camera much, so there are very few pictures of him before me (I force him to take some with me) ... so I guess it is possible that it could fit. Plus, its one of those collared shirts that ties in the front, the type that is supposed to be tight, kinda like this one: http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/248/5462/2h/tzrz.safeshopper.com/images/006rkn0.jpg
So, it may be designed to be tight ...
The other thing, there were no underwear ... which only leads me more in the direction of simple curiosity, I mean, don't most who CD seriously like the underwear part? I know my father did ... and I doubt that my fiance would keep the whole outift except for the underwear ...

 

[sxylegs]

Not arguing here, Sxylegs, just my perspective ... If they were clothes another woman left, why would he keep them 2 years into another relationship AND admit he had been cross dressing when he thought that might end the relationship with SA? Did you friends keep the clothes they bought?

SA, do you two live together?

I just thought that if she approached him about the crossdressing first....then he might admit to that instead of having a hot night with a hot babe......i have been in relationships where there were womens clothes stuck in the back of a closet and they guy has forgotten all about them.....(You know how they forget)
One of the friends did keep his in his bottom drawyer, and forgot they were there, and the other got rid of his when he rediscovered them a few months later.
I keep wondering why the shirt is so small.....not his size or her size.

 

[SweetErika]

I just thought that if she approached him about the crossdressing first....then he might admit to that instead of having a hot night with a hot babe......i have been in relationships where there were womens clothes stuck in the back of a closet and they guy has forgotten all about them.....(You know how they forget)
One of the friends did keep his in his bottom drawyer, and forgot they were there, and the other got rid of his when he rediscovered them a few months later.
I keep wondering why the shirt is so small.....not his size or her size.

Very interesting...thanks!

 

[sxylegs]

Very interesting...thanks!

This whole thing is a puzzle......I asked my boyfriend about it and he said it is a shame that he didnt tell to begin with......but a lot of people hide things instead of talking openly with someone.....

 

[SmilinAngel]

This whole thing is a puzzle......I asked my boyfriend about it and he said it is a shame that he didnt tell to begin with......but a lot of people hide things instead of talking openly with someone.....

AMEN to that! I am a person that is totally open about things - I mean, there's no reason to hide stuff .. especially from someone you love. But, I guess I understand. I had told him that I'd leave him - even if I don't remember saying it. But yes, I agree that more people should be more open. Then there's no complications!

 

[vargas111]

Look on the brght side. He is no prude. Once he knows you ar OK with his kinky behavior,he'll be happy. Just make sure (and tell him) that you acept all that to get him hot to fuck YOU.

Homer

 

[Seakla]

I think that maybe he could be telling the truth. It is possible to be curious and then once the curiousity is over with, fine. It doesn't have to mean that he will do it again or have bi/gay tendencies.

The shirt might be too small because he couldn't hardly try it on in a store right? Without the sales people looking at him weird. So maybe he just grabbed a size that he thought looked good for him. Heck, I KNOW my size in women's clothing and I still pcik out something way to small thinking I can squeeze into it and look fine! LOL Or maybe he was looking at it and got embarrassed by a salesclerks questions so he just grabbed it an paid for it quickly.

Why he didn't get rid of it when you two started dating is the bigger question. But why don't people get rid of a fave pillow or blanket or sweater? Maybe it became as a sort of "security blanket." he had no intention of wearing it again but for some psychological reason he could not part with it. I've heard of some people who quit drinking or smoking and yet keep one last pack of cigs or one last bottle of alcohol as a security blanket.

Whatever his reasons are the thing to do now is to let him know that you love him and all his quirks, faults, and attributes but that honesty has to be a key factor. Then drop the issue. I've learned in 8 years of marriage that the more you harp on an issue the worse it gets. The more you let this fester in you and the more you nag him about it, the worse it will get.

 

[SmilinAngel]

I think that maybe he could be telling the truth. It is possible to be curious and then once the curiousity is over with, fine. It doesn't have to mean that he will do it again or have bi/gay tendencies.

The shirt might be too small because he couldn't hardly try it on in a store right? Without the sales people looking at him weird. So maybe he just grabbed a size that he thought looked good for him. Heck, I KNOW my size in women's clothing and I still pcik out something way to small thinking I can squeeze into it and look fine! LOL Or maybe he was looking at it and got embarrassed by a salesclerks questions so he just grabbed it an paid for it quickly.

Why he didn't get rid of it when you two started dating is the bigger question. But why don't people get rid of a fave pillow or blanket or sweater? Maybe it became as a sort of "security blanket." he had no intention of wearing it again but for some psychological reason he could not part with it. I've heard of some people who quit drinking or smoking and yet keep one last pack of cigs or one last bottle of alcohol as a security blanket.

Whatever his reasons are the thing to do now is to let him know that you love him and all his quirks, faults, and attributes but that honesty has to be a key factor. Then drop the issue. I've learned in 8 years of marriage that the more you harp on an issue the worse it gets. The more you let this fester in you and the more you nag him about it, the worse it will get.

Thank you so much! These are all great points. Yeah, I was thinking about bringing it back up to get more information, but I think you're advice is sound. I'll just try to make it safe for him to open up to me and to talk to me. Thanks again!

 

[SensualCealy]

I know how much my husband has spent on his "habit" the shoes specially, they cost a fortune for larger sizes.

I know what type of top you are talking about the "daisy mae" style. Of course it is to fit tight and tied under the chest, like a bra!

One thing I would say to you now is, most cross dressers or guys that are interested dont just drop it. They continue to do it and work more of it into your regular life. It becomes a way of life if they have approval. If its supressed (sp) Id worry that he would always feel you kept him from being his true self. I however would NOT suggest him try it on for you, this would say to him you approve of it. Now if you do thats totally fine, have fun and enjoy the excitement, just dont ask him to stop, cause it likely wont happen.

To me cross dressing is alot like being gay, how can you just stop if its in your blood?

Good luck, and if anything TALK, if you know what he is thinking you can make a better decision about what YOU want out of life. You have been given an opportunity to do what you want and make those decisions for yourself better now than after the wedding!

All my best to you,
Cealy

 

[SmilinAngel]

I know how much my husband has spent on his "habit" the shoes specially, they cost a fortune for larger sizes.

I know what type of top you are talking about the "daisy mae" style. Of course it is to fit tight and tied under the chest, like a bra!

One thing I would say to you now is, most cross dressers or guys that are interested dont just drop it. They continue to do it and work more of it into your regular life. It becomes a way of life if they have approval. If its supressed (sp) Id worry that he would always feel you kept him from being his true self. I however would NOT suggest him try it on for you, this would say to him you approve of it. Now if you do thats totally fine, have fun and enjoy the excitement, just dont ask him to stop, cause it likely wont happen.

To me cross dressing is alot like being gay, how can you just stop if its in your blood?

Good luck, and if anything TALK, if you know what he is thinking you can make a better decision about what YOU want out of life. You have been given an opportunity to do what you want and make those decisions for yourself better now than after the wedding!

All my best to you,
Cealy

I agree, Cealy, with everything. But, I guess I'm wondering if this is something that is in my fiances blood, or if it was something that he was just curious about. He claims he was just curious, and doesn't see it as part of himself anymore, and I have only seen one outfit. If it was really apart of who he is, wouldn't there be more than one? I believe him when he says it's not apart of him anymore, but what you say does make sense ...

 

[manofsteel52]

i have been in relationships where there were womens clothes stuck in the back of a closet and they guy has forgotten all about them.....(You know how they forget)

This thread has been quite interesting. I always enjoy a good mystery novel.

sxylegs has made a good point here. Over the years, there have been times that I've "put things away", toys that we use, porn, etc., so the kids wouldn't find it, only to find them at a later time when looking for something else. Totally forgotten.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

First off, I have size 11 feet. Just to put that out there. I'm 5'10 and have big feet.


Secondly, I've known men that cross-dressed... and for many of them,they were straight as could be. They weren't interested in other men, but DID enjoy the feeling of just pampering themselves like women do. When men dress up, there's a certain uniform.. either a suit, or jeans and a T, or whatever. WHen women dress up, we can wear anything. We can wear men's and women's clothes, we can wear boycut or thong underwear, we can go with or without a bra, we can wear heels or flats, we can be pretty or scrubby. We do our hair and wear makeup and paint our nails. All of that requires quite a bit of effort, and quite a bit of personal care, and with the men I knew, that's all they really wanted. Eventually, most of the men that I know that do it, let go of the women's clothes, in place of getting a manicure once a month.. no polish, but just time spent making them feel well-kept, y'know?

I don't know if it makes sense, but I think it does... and let's face it.. it's kinda kinky for some people to wear clothes that are made for another role. Maybe it's his way of experimenting with a submissive role.. letting go the typical male roles of provider, strong, macho, masculine, and just allowing himself to be the softer, subtler side of his personality? *shrug*

I don't think there's anything to worry about, but I would ask him about it.. you, as his fiance, do have a right to know about this, and about what possible repercussions it might have, and he, as YOUR fiance, has a right to know about your reservations.

Openness is key.

 

[SmilinAngel]

First off, I have size 11 feet. Just to put that out there. I'm 5'10 and have big feet.


Secondly, I've known men that cross-dressed... and for many of them,they were straight as could be. They weren't interested in other men, but DID enjoy the feeling of just pampering themselves like women do. When men dress up, there's a certain uniform.. either a suit, or jeans and a T, or whatever. WHen women dress up, we can wear anything. We can wear men's and women's clothes, we can wear boycut or thong underwear, we can go with or without a bra, we can wear heels or flats, we can be pretty or scrubby. We do our hair and wear makeup and paint our nails. All of that requires quite a bit of effort, and quite a bit of personal care, and with the men I knew, that's all they really wanted. Eventually, most of the men that I know that do it, let go of the women's clothes, in place of getting a manicure once a month.. no polish, but just time spent making them feel well-kept, y'know?

I don't know if it makes sense, but I think it does... and let's face it.. it's kinda kinky for some people to wear clothes that are made for another role. Maybe it's his way of experimenting with a submissive role.. letting go the typical male roles of provider, strong, macho, masculine, and just allowing himself to be the softer, subtler side of his personality? *shrug*

I don't think there's anything to worry about, but I would ask him about it.. you, as his fiance, do have a right to know about this, and about what possible repercussions it might have, and he, as YOUR fiance, has a right to know about your reservations.

Openness is key.

Thank you for your comments Lilth, they were quite insightful! Maybe I'll invite him to get a manicure next time I go get a pedicure ... lol! I think you're right, though. He is not the "typical" male - he is very sensitive (I've seen him cry at least 3 times more than he's seen me cry) and romantic, thoughtful, etc. Not that all men aren't, but you know what I'm saying. I'm not surprised that he has femine tendencies ... all my friends make jokes that I'm the male in the relationship and he's the female b/c I'm not sensitive, passive, or submissive, yet, he is all of that. Anyway, I think you're right on all accounts. Thank you for your thoughts!