Indulging My Irish

[Calamity Jane]

Not that there's a whole lotta Irish hiding in my family tumbleweed, but today, I just don't care.

A Curse

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.

Insight

This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

 

[Calamity Jane]

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
Alex Levine

 

[april-wine]

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
Alex Levine

Hey pass the coffee........

 

[J.B.]

I'll take one. No make it two

 

[SaucyWench]

Insight

This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

So THAT's why my shrinks keep telling me they can't help me. Sheesh.

 

[Frimost]

“Indulging your Irish”, you stumbly-bumbly drunk and picking fights already? Please don’t firebomb the English Consulate…ok?

 

[Calamity Jane]

Y'all have to come here to get some coffee. I promise it'll be worth it.

Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.

Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But never forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.

Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day

 

[Calamity Jane]

Paddy's Lament


I

Well it's by the hush, me boys, and sure that's to hold your noise
And listen to poor Paddy's sad narration
I was by hunger pressed, and in poverty distressed
So I took a thought I'd leave the Irish nation

Chorus

Here's you boys, now take my advice
To America I'll have ye's not be going
There is nothing here but war, where the murderin' cannons roar
And I wish I was at home in dear old Dublin

II

Well I sold me ass and cow, my little pigs and sow
My little plot of land I soon did part with
And me sweetheart Bid McGee, I'm afraid I'll never see
For I left her there that morning broken-hearted

Chorus

Here's you boys, now take my advice
To America I'll have ye's not be going
There is nothing here but war, where the murderin' cannons roar
And I wish I was at home in dear old Dublin

III

Well meself and a hundred more, to America sailed o'er
Our fortunes to be made we were thinkin'
When we got to Yankee land, they shoved a gun into our hands
"Paddy, you must go and fight for Lincoln"

Chorus

Here's you boys, now take my advice
To America I'll have ye's not be going
There is nothing here but war, where the murderin' cannons roar
And I wish I was at home in dear old Dublin

IV

General Meagher to us he said, if you get shot or lose your head
Every murdered soul of youse will get a pension
Well meself I lost me leg, they gave me a wooden peg
And by God this is the truth to you I mention

Chorus

Here's you boys, now take my advice
To America I'll have ye's not be going
There is nothing here but war, where the murderin' cannons roar
And I wish I was at home in dear old Dublin

V

Well I think meself in luck, if I get fed on Indianbuck
And old Ireland is the country I delight in
With the devil, I do say, it's curse Americay
For I think I.ve had enough of your hard fightin

Chorus

Here's you boys, now take my advice
To America I'll have ye's not be going
There is nothing here but war, where the murderin' cannons roar
And I wish I was at home in dear old Dublin

 

[SaucyWench]

Those are all good and patriotic and happy and everything, but can't you dig out the good ole Irish pub songs? You know, a guiness or two, beat up the constable, stumble to the gutter? I'm heading out for my pint of Guiness right now, catch up with you sober people later!

 

[Lancecastor]

Do ye have any Irish in ye? No? Would ye like some?

 

[Nathon_88]

dublin lullaby

by Mike McDonald, Dave, Wes Borg, Joe Bird aka, Captain Tractor.

Starring Allan Clark as Banshee Reel. We first recorded this song at #3 Roxburgh in Wellington with half BR and half CT. Nothing
really became of that recording except the drinking verse heard here, but the spirit lives on. (you can hear it)


We're gonna drink and fight and drink and fight
And drink and fight some more
When the drinking's done, grab anyone
And go and fight some more

So grab your friends and neighbours
And punch them in the eye
And raise another glass to sing
The Dublin Lullaby

O'Leary was a bastard
I gave his head a crack
I drank a pint of Guiness
And puked all over his back
O'Shaunnesy was sickened
With Paddy in the back
When Irish eyes are smiling
We'll punch them till they're black

O'Leary and O'Connell
Had been drinking pretty hard
Had been sitting for a fortnight
With Clancy at the bar
He got so stewed
That when he spewed
We swore he must have drowned
So we kicked his ass
Raised a glass
And bought another round

Well I went out with O'Leary to Old Macdonald's wake
We drank a lot of stout and ale
And ate a lot of cake
O'Malley's singing Danny Boy
And filled my eyes with tears
So I kicked his nuts
Right into his guts
And had another beer

 

[Calamity Jane]

Finnegan's Wake

Irish Traditional

Tim Finnegan lived in Walkin' Street, a gentleman Irish, mighty odd
He'd a beautiful brogue so rich and sweet, and to rise in the world he carried a hod.
You see, he'd sort of the tipplin' way, with a love for the liquor poor Tim was born,
To help him on with his work each day, he'd a drop of the craythur every morn.

CHORUS
Whack fol the da now, dance to your partner, welt the floor, yer trotters shake.
Wasn't it the truth, I told you, lot's of fun at Finnegan's wake.

One mornin' Tim was rather full, his head felt heavy which made him shake.
He fell from a ladder and broke his skull, so we carried him home his corpse to wake.
Rolled him up in a nice clean sheet, and laid him out upon the bed,
With a gallon of whiskey at his feet, and a bottle of porter at his head.

CHORUS

We all assembled at the wake, and Mrs. Finnegan called for lunch,
First she brought in tay and cakes, then pipes, tabacco and whiskey punch.
Biddy O'Brien began to cry, "Such a nice clean corpse did you ever see?"
"Oh Tim, mavourneen, why did you die?" "Arrah, hold yer gob," said Paddy McGhee.

CHORUS

Then Maggie O'Connor took up the job, "Oh Biddy," says she, "yer wrong I'm sure."
Biddy gave Maggie a belt in the gob and left her sprawling on the floor.
Then the war was soon engaged, 'twas woman to woman and man to man,
Shillelagh law was all the rage and row and ruction soon began.

CHORUS

Mickey Maloney raised up his head when a noggin' of whiskey flew at him.
It missed and landed on the bed, the liquor scattered all over Tim.
Tim revives, see how he rises, Timothy risin' from the bed,
Said, "Whirl yer whiskey 'round like blazes, thanum un dial, did ya think I'm dead?"

CHORUS

 

[CoolidgEffect]

GODDAM DUTCH (Very Lovely Traditional Folksong)

Drunk last night, drunk the night before, gonna get drunk like I've never been drunk before. For when I'm drunk, I'm happy as can be, for I am a member of the Souse family.

Oh the Souse family is the best family, that ever came over from ole Germany. You got your highland Dutch and your lowland Dutch, your Rotterdam Dutch and your Goddam Dutch.

Cho: Singin' glorious, glorious, one keg of beer for the four of us. Singin' glory be to god that there are no more of us, for the four of us could drink it all alone. All alone, all alone, the four of us could drink it all alone. Singin glory be to god that their are no more of us, for the four of us could drink it all alone.

Well what's that smell in the evenin' breeze, the goddam Dutch are makin' Limburger cheese

Cho:

When god made the Irish he didn't make much, but we're a helluva lot better than the goddam Dutch.

Cho:

You may talk about your brookies and your northern pike, but in Holland they got to fish for the carp from a dike.

Cho:

When you're listenin' to us Standing Stones, we hope that you feel you're never alone. For the cost it ain't that dear, and some of your friends are here, and the Irish music's flowin' like the beer.

Just like the beer, like the beer, oh the Irish music's flowin' like the beer. Singin glory be to god that there are no more of us, for the four of us could drink it all alone. All alone, all alone, the four of us could drink it all alone. Singin' glory be to god that there are no more of us, for the four of us could drink it all alone.

 

[Calamity Jane]

ALL FOR ME GROG

CHORUS
And it's all for me grog, me jolly, jolly grog
All for me beer and tobacco
For I spent all me tin on the lassies drinking gin
Now across the western ocean I must wander

Where are me boots, me noggin, noggin boots
They're all gone for beer and tobacco
For the heels, they are worn out and the toes are kicked about
And the soles are looking out for better weather

Where is me shirt, me noggin, noggin shirt
It's all gone for beer and tobacco
For the collar is all worn and the sleeves, they are all torn
And the tail is looking out for better weather
Chorus

I am sick in me head and I haven't been to bed
Since I came ashore for me slumber
For I spent all me dough on the lassies, don't you know
Now across the western ocean I must wander
Chorus

 

[J.B.]

We're gonna drink and fight and drink and fight
And drink and fight some more
When the drinking's done, grab anyone
And go and fight some more

Sounds like my family

 

[Calamity Jane]

THE REAL OLD MOUNTAIN DEW
Let grasses grow and waters flow
In a free and easy way
But give me enough of the rare old stuff
That's made near Galway Bay
Come gaugers all from Donegal
From Sligo and Leitrim, too
Oh. we'll give them the slip and we'll take a sip
Of the real old Mountain Dew

CHORUS:
Hi da dithery I da dal
Dal da dithery I da day
Dal da dithery I da dil dal day
Hi da dithery I da dal Dal da dithery I da day
Dal da dithery I dil dal dee

At the foot of the hill there's a neat little still
Where the smoke curls up to the sky
By a whiff of the smell you can plainly tell
There's a poitin still close by
Oh it fills the air with a perfume rare
And betwixt both me and you
As home we roll, we can drink a bowl
Or a bucket of mountain dew
Chorus

Now learned men who use the pen
Have wrote the praises high
Of the sweet poitin from Ireland green
Distilled from wheat and rye
Chorus

Away with pills, it will cure all ills
Of the Pagan, Christian or Jew
So take off your coat and grease your throat
With the real old mountain dew
Chorus

 

[Calamity Jane]

THE JUG OF PUNCH
Twas very early in the month of June
As I was sitting in my room
I heard a thrush sing in a bush
And the song it sang was the Jug of Punch

CHORUS
Too-ra loo-ra loo, too-ra loo-ra loo
Too-ra loo-ra loo, too-ra loo-ra loo
I heard a thrush sing in a bush
And the song it sang was the Jug of Punch

What more diversion can a man desire
Than to be seated by a snug coal fire
Upon his knee a pretty wench
And on the table a jug of punch
Chorus

If I were sick and very bad
And was not able to go or stand
I would not think it all amiss
To pleadge my shoes for a jug of punch
Chorus

The doctor fails with all his art
To cure an impression on the heart
But if life was gone, within an inch
What would bring it back but a jug of punch
Chorus

But when I'm dead and in my grave
No costly tombstone I will have
But they'll dig a grave both wide and deep
With a jug of punch at my head and feet.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Ugly Mrs. Fen (D. Miller)

One cold March morning I crossed Old Miller's Moor
with me shepherd dog Clancey, on a distasteful chore.
Me mother sent me out with some soup for Mrs. Fen
who's husband fell on his dikky and couldn't get up again.

St. Patrick lead me to the gates
St. Peter let me in,
For I don't want to see the face of ugly Mrs. Fen
She comes from France
and she wears pants
and smells like fishermen
St. Patrick lead me to the gates,
St. Peter let me in.

I knocked three times and Mrs. Fen opened up the door
a nastier, ugly hag I had never seen before!
She had hairy moles and blackened teeth and weighed 900 pounds
poor Clancey took one look at her and fell dead on the ground!

(dying dog)

St. Patrick lead me to the gates, St. Peter let me in
For I don't want to see the face of ugly Mrs. Fen
She drinks from kegs, has hairy legs,
and a hideous devil's grin!
St. Patrick lead me to the gates, St. Peter let me in!

She took the soup from my hands and bid me do come in,
"..it might make me husband smile, if you paid your respects to him."
So I took off me cap and coat, and walked over to his bed..
He whispered to me, "closer lad.." and this is what he said,

"St. Patrick lead me to the gates St. Peter let me in,
For I can't stand another day, livin with Mrs. Fen!
Me outlook is iffy, I've naryastiffy since me drunken wedding friend!
St. Patrick lead me to the gates St. Peter let me in!"

I felt so sorry for the man, I started in to cry,
I reached into me pocket for me traveler o' Rye
We drank and we cried together till our eyes were red and sore!
We drank so much that we couldn't see her ugly face no more!

St. Patrick lead me to the gates St. Peter let me in
for I don't want to see the face of ugly Mrs. Fen
St. Patrick lead me to the gates St. Peter let me in
for I don't want to see the face of ugly Mrs. Fennn..

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Whiskey in the Jar (Traditional)

As I was going over the far famed Kerry mountains
I met with Captain Farrel and his money he was countin'
I first produced my pistol, and then produced my rapier
saying "Stand and deliver for you are my bold deceiver"

Mushla ring'm duram di
wack for the darrio, wack for the darrio, there's whiskey in the jar!

I counted out my money and it made a pretty penny
I put it in my pocket and I gave to my Jenny
She sighed and she swore that she never would betray me
but the devil take the women for they never can go easy

Mushla ring'm duram di
wack for the darrio, wack for the darrio, there's whiskey in the jar!

I went into my chamber, all for to take a slumber
I dreamt of gold and jewels and sure it was no wonder
for Jenny took my charges and she filled them up with water
then sent for Captain Farrel to make ready for the slaughter

Mushla ring'm duram di
wack for the darrio, wack for the darrio, there's whiskey in the jar!

Twas early in the morning, before I rose to travel
the guards were all around me and likewise Captain Farrel,
I first produced my pistol for she stole away my rapier
but I couldn't shoot the water so a prisoner I was taken

Mushla ring'm duram di
wack for the darrio, wack for the darrio, there's whiskey in the jar!

Well if anyone can aid me its my brother in the army,
I think that he is stationed in Cork or in Killarney
and if he'd come and join me, we'd go rovin in Kilkenny
I swear he'd treat me fairer than me darlin Sportin Jenny!

Mushla ring'm duram di
wack for the darrio, wack for the darrio, there's whiskey in the jar!

Some take delight in Hurling, and others still in bowling
Still others take delight in the carriages a'rolling
but I take delight in the juice of the Barley
and kissin pretty women when the sun is risin' early

Mushla ring'm duram di
wack for the darrio, wack for the darrio, there's whiskey in the jar!

 

[Calamity Jane]

May you have warm words on a cold evening a full moon on a dark night and the road downhill all the way to your door.

----------

Heres a health to your enemies enemies.

----------

Heres health and prosperity to you and all your posterity and them that doesn't drink with sincerity that they may be damned for all eternity.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Black is the Color

Black is the color of my true love`s hair
Her lips are like some roses fair
She`s the sweetest face and the gentlest hands.
I love the ground wheron she stands

I love my love and well she knows
I love the ground whereon she goes.
But some times I whish the day will come
That she and I will be as one.

Black is the color of my true love`s hair
Her lips are like some roses fair
She`s the sweetest face and the gentlest hands.
I love the ground wheron she stands

I walk to the Clyde for to mourn and weep
But satisfied I never can sleep
I`ll write her a letter, just a few short lines
And suffer death ten thousand times

Black is the color of my true love`s hair
Her lips are like some roses fair
She`s the sweetest face and the gentlest hands.
I love the ground wheron she stands

 

[CoolidgEffect]

The Unicorn
A Poem by Shel Silverstein
Recorded by the Irish Rovers

A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn

The Lord seen some sinning and it gave Him pain
And He says, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain"
He says, "Hey Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo, and take some of those

Green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget My unicorns

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark just as the rain started to fall
He marched the animals two by two
And he called out as they came through
Hey Lord,
I've got green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just can't find no unicorns"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was falling
Oh, them silly unicorns

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, "Close the door because the rain is falling
And we just can't wait for no unicorns"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
That's why you never see unicorns to this very day

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorns.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Mrs. Durkin (Traditional)

In the days I went a courtin',
I was never tired resortin'
To the ale house and the playhouse,
And the other house besides
So I told me brother Shamus,
I'd go off now and be famous,
And before I return home again,
I'd roamed the whole world wide

So it's goodbye Mrs. Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of working
No more I'll dig the praties,
No longer I'll be poor
As sure as my name is Barney,
I'm off to Californie
For instead of digging praties,
I'll be digging lots of gold

Well I've dated girls in Blarney, in Kanturk and in Killarney
In Passage and in Queenstown, that is in the Cobh of Cork.
But I'm tired of all this pleasure, so go off and take me leisure
And the next time that you hear from me, I'll write you from New York.

So it's goodbye Mrs. Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of working
No more I'll dig the praties,
No longer I'll be poor
As sure as my name is Barney,
I'm off to Californie
For instead of digging praties,
I'll be digging lots of gold

When I landed in Ameri-Ka, I met a man named Burt.
He said if I would stay awhile, he'd surely find me work.
But work he didn't find me, so there's nothing here to bind me.
So I'm bound for San Francisco, in Californ-i-a

So it's goodbye Mrs. Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of working
No more I'll dig the praties,
No longer I'll be poor
As sure as my name is Barney,
I'm off to Californie
For instead of digging praties,
I'll be digging lots of gold

When I land in San Francisco and me fortune it is made.
Me pockets loaded down with gold I'll throw away me spade.
I'll go back to dear old larence with me fortune never carried.
And I'll marry Queen Victoria, Mrs. Durkin for dispite.

So it's goodbye Mrs. Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of working
No more I'll dig the praties,
No longer I'll be poor
As sure as my name is Barney,
I'm off to Californie
For instead of digging praties,
I'll be digging lots of gold

 

[STUDDOG]

May the road rise up
to meet you
may the wind be
always at your back
May the sun shine warm
on your face
And the rain fall soft
upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you
in the palm of his hand.

-an old Irish Blessing

HAPPY ST.PADDY'S DAY




STUDDOG

 

[Calamity Jane]

Ohhhhh you're Evil.