Indian authours request

[lovermachan]

Hi all Indians and Erotic lovers.,
please read my stories listed in
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=192298

Please vote and post your comments.
I need feedback to improve and Proceed.

Lover

 

[damppanties]

Hi lovermachan, (does machan have anything to do with the things they build on top of trees?)

I tried to read one of your stories - Slave to Sexy South Indian Actress - but gave up in paragraph seven. Your story reads less like English and more like a direct translation from another language (Hindi?). For example,

...that old manager is a long relative of mine.

I think by long relative in the above line, you meant 'door ka rishtedaar'. It doesn't work at all. The correct term is distant relative.

I went through plenty of instances like the one quoted above. You need at least an average understanding of the language to write in it. Your English is very 'Indianised' (I don't know how else to put it). I suggest you come up with an editor who smoothes out your weird phrases and grammar or write in a language you are more comfortable in.

I didn't read the whole story so I can't comment about the storyline.

Have a nice day.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I have to agree with DP. You really need to find an editor who is familiar with both english and your native tongue. I am sure someone here on Lit can help you. I helped a sweedish author who was having many of the problems you do in translation. She was fluent enough in english to write, but her strange turn on idiomatic and colloqual expressions read very badly. It took a lot of emails to find out what she was trying to say in places and would have helped if I had spoken her native language.

Maybe you could see if Lit has a bilingual editor in the volunataty editors program?

-Colly

 

[lovermachan]

hi.,
thanks for your replies and suggestions.
I will keep up to your advice.

 

[damppanties]

I asked him a question!

does machan have anything to do with the things they build on top of trees?

 

[lovermachan]

Machan refers to a term to call one's sister's husband in a south Indian language called Tamil.So...

 

[damppanties]

Ahhh ok, thanx.