Inappropriate metaphors

[UnderYourSpell]

The night was like a cucumber, long with no calories

 

[champagne1982]

she was as open as a fisted (fill in your fave bodily opening)...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

she was as open as a fisted (fill in your fave bodily opening)...

ewwwwwwwwwww

 

[butters]

linda's heart was a badly-maintained litter tray - shat in too often for others' convenience yet pooh-poohed by all....

 

[butters]

so constipated, his arse was a blocked chimney, waiting for cheeky young sweeps to scramble up inside and unblock it.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

 

[butters]

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Is there a rule the metaphor has to be gross?

 

[Angeline]

Trapped like a rat in an unimaginable orifice.​

So. This thread is going well. *ducks*

 

[butters]

Is there a rule the metaphor has to be gross?

no, just inappropriate

i was the one grossing it up. sorry. i was trying for as inappropriate as possible.

 

[butters]

Trapped like a rat in an unimaginable orifice.​

So. This thread is going well. *ducks*

glad you joined me at unimaginable depths

 

[butters]

to be fair, A, at first glance i thought that read 'office'. still worked as quite inappropriate

 

[Angeline]

glad you joined me at unimaginable depths

I say we both blame Champ.

 

[butters]

I say we both blame Champ.

she certainly steered us in that direction what with her long cucumber....

oops, annie. i meant annie.

and champ led us down the slippery path

 

[greatstuffing]

The night was like a cucumber, long with no calories

Erm, that's a simile, not a metaphor

She came like an epileptic, thrashing and twitching about. - is a simile.

He was a horny toad, warts protruding and tongue looking for bugs to swallow. - is a metaphor.

 

[butters]

Erm, that's a simile, not a metaphor

She came like an epileptic, thrashing and twitching about. - is a simile.

He was a horny toad, warts protruding and tongue looking for bugs to swallow. - is a metaphor.

erm, we know. but it's just a funny thread not taking itself seriously.

a tommy cooper's last stage appearance of a thread

 

[butters]

he was as into hardcore banging as a sweaty labourer with an oversized lump hammer in his hand and a mildewed lean-to in need of demolishing

 

[butters]

or, to phrase that more metaphorically, 'he was into hardcore banging: a sweaty labourer with an oversized lump hammer in his hand and a mildewed lean-to in need of demolishing'

 

[butters]

inappropriate enough?

his will to move was a quadriplegic on speed: all there but going no place fast.

 

[butters]

i should step away from this thread, shouldn't i?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

his will to move was a quadriplegic on speed: all there but going no place fast.

Butters!! :caning:

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Erm, that's a simile, not a metaphor

She came like an epileptic, thrashing and twitching about. - is a simile.

He was a horny toad, warts protruding and tongue looking for bugs to swallow. - is a metaphor.

It's my thread and I'll stick similes in it if I want to

 

[UnderYourSpell]

He had the attention span of a goldfish without it's redeeming grace of being easy on the eye

 

[Angeline]

The Sun is a ping-pong ball only bigger and less bouncy.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

He had the face of a sheep with a deep and secret sorrow.