Hi, Folks!
This isn't my first post, so don't get all excited -- my regular Lit pseudonym simply found an alias for this delicate question. Ordinarily, I can be found skulking around the boards on a fairly regular basis.
Here's the sitch -- I'm a 29 year old mostly straight woman (love, love, love fucking women...but couldn't see myself in a committed relationship with anyone other than a XY). My very best friend (J) is a 34 year old gay male. He's a fairly recent widow (lost his love almost two years ago). We adore one another fabulously, and we talk about sex all the time (I'm rather insatiable, and have been jumping in/out of the sack with a string of toys in the past 6-9 months).
Monday night, J & I had drinks before a date I had scheduled, and he came over to sober up before he drove home. No big. In the midst of me showering and getting ready for my date, we started hugging and massaging one another. It felt really natural...and really good to get that kind of caring touch. We both got a wee bit excited, but we blew it off and he went home.
We'd made plans for him to come over Thursday night for the season finale of CSI. Again, we like hanging out together so this wasn't anything big. I was in the shower when he came in, but I'd left a note for him to grab a beer and get comfy. He'd commented earlier that afternoon at work that he had been looking longingly at my bathtub, since all he has is a shower, so I made sure to scrub it and leave a fresh towel out. While I ran to the store for scallops and wine for dinner, he took a hot bath. I was absolutely delighted that he felt comfortable enough in my home to do that.
So, dinner...CSI (hint: don't try to eat much when Tarantino is directing an episode of a crime drama!)...both of us lounging on the sofa, and he winds up stretched full-length on the sofa with his head in my lap. There've been so many times when I've craved caring touches with someone I love and can trust...but it's always felt awkward and wrong to ask my girlfriends to let me snuggle with them. So, I'm thinking "Yes! Fabulous! Oh, this is just what I need...his head in my lap and my fingers stroking his hair!"
Long story shorter...he ends up with his hands up my skirt, and his mouth nibbling and licking my tattoo (outer left thigh, due east of my pubic patch). A few chaste kisses, groans of frustration on both our parts, repositioning so that his feet are in my lap, and in moments, he's back to rubbing my legs and kissing my tattoo. Two and a half hours after CSI went off, J went home.
So now we're stuck in a conversation... It's quickly progressed from "can we handle this? will it get awkward?" to a discussion of how incredibly turned on we get around one another and how we *will* wind up in bed together. Soon. Neither one of us is pushing. In fact, we're almost too damned careful of one another's feelings. We're also horny, lonely, and fairly crazy about one another. (Damn my chromosomes, anyway!)
My question is this...what are we risking? I'm not concerned about the friendship. I love him too much to get all nasty and petty when he finally finds a boyfriend (though I know I'll probably end up falling pretty hard...he's a Will to my Grace).
I'm concerned about damaging him. At the same time, he's emotionally mature, stable, and one of the most adult men I know.
Grrrrrrr.
Thanks for your patience in reading -- and advance appreciation for your comments.
QG
This isn't my first post, so don't get all excited -- my regular Lit pseudonym simply found an alias for this delicate question. Ordinarily, I can be found skulking around the boards on a fairly regular basis.
Here's the sitch -- I'm a 29 year old mostly straight woman (love, love, love fucking women...but couldn't see myself in a committed relationship with anyone other than a XY). My very best friend (J) is a 34 year old gay male. He's a fairly recent widow (lost his love almost two years ago). We adore one another fabulously, and we talk about sex all the time (I'm rather insatiable, and have been jumping in/out of the sack with a string of toys in the past 6-9 months).
Monday night, J & I had drinks before a date I had scheduled, and he came over to sober up before he drove home. No big. In the midst of me showering and getting ready for my date, we started hugging and massaging one another. It felt really natural...and really good to get that kind of caring touch. We both got a wee bit excited, but we blew it off and he went home.
We'd made plans for him to come over Thursday night for the season finale of CSI. Again, we like hanging out together so this wasn't anything big. I was in the shower when he came in, but I'd left a note for him to grab a beer and get comfy. He'd commented earlier that afternoon at work that he had been looking longingly at my bathtub, since all he has is a shower, so I made sure to scrub it and leave a fresh towel out. While I ran to the store for scallops and wine for dinner, he took a hot bath. I was absolutely delighted that he felt comfortable enough in my home to do that.
So, dinner...CSI (hint: don't try to eat much when Tarantino is directing an episode of a crime drama!)...both of us lounging on the sofa, and he winds up stretched full-length on the sofa with his head in my lap. There've been so many times when I've craved caring touches with someone I love and can trust...but it's always felt awkward and wrong to ask my girlfriends to let me snuggle with them. So, I'm thinking "Yes! Fabulous! Oh, this is just what I need...his head in my lap and my fingers stroking his hair!"
Long story shorter...he ends up with his hands up my skirt, and his mouth nibbling and licking my tattoo (outer left thigh, due east of my pubic patch). A few chaste kisses, groans of frustration on both our parts, repositioning so that his feet are in my lap, and in moments, he's back to rubbing my legs and kissing my tattoo. Two and a half hours after CSI went off, J went home.
So now we're stuck in a conversation... It's quickly progressed from "can we handle this? will it get awkward?" to a discussion of how incredibly turned on we get around one another and how we *will* wind up in bed together. Soon. Neither one of us is pushing. In fact, we're almost too damned careful of one another's feelings. We're also horny, lonely, and fairly crazy about one another. (Damn my chromosomes, anyway!)
My question is this...what are we risking? I'm not concerned about the friendship. I love him too much to get all nasty and petty when he finally finds a boyfriend (though I know I'll probably end up falling pretty hard...he's a Will to my Grace).
I'm concerned about damaging him. At the same time, he's emotionally mature, stable, and one of the most adult men I know.
Grrrrrrr.
Thanks for your patience in reading -- and advance appreciation for your comments.
QG
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) I think this would be a fun exploration for you both. 
