In Harms Way

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I tensed up, not liking where his eyes were roamning.
"I am instructed to stay with Cheif Tugas, Captain. My commanding officer's orders." I paused, knowing he would rebut those orders but I held up a hand.
"Please Sir... If I am to be in a sense a partner to Cheif tugas for these few weeks, I need to get to know him a little better.. And I know an honorable man who recieved the Navy Cross Would never harm me in any way.. So thank you for your offer Captain, but I must decline." Hauntingly I passed him by and let Chief Tugas assist me into the jeep.
"Thank you." I whispered softly to him, sitting back and waiting.

 

[cgraven]

"I am instructed to stay with Chief Tugas, Captain. My commanding officer's orders." …………………."Please Sir... If I am to be in a sense a partner to Chief Tugas for these few weeks, I need to get to know him a little better.. And I know an honorable man who received the Navy Cross would never harm me in any way.. So thank you for your offer Captain, but I must decline."

There was a fire in Britney her words sharp and to the point as she rejected the The Good Captain’s offer.

I slid from the jeep taking her A-1Bag and throwing it in the back with my duffel, then giving her a steadying hand as she got into the front passenger’s seat.

"Thank you."

Britney softly whispered before I hoped up in the back of the jeep.

Now a Jeep at the best of times is not a comfortable ride but on this chilly February morning it was cold and miserable. It took us 30mins to get to North Station and I was nearly frozen and Poor Nurse Cole must have regretted her decision by now.

The station was a mad house of activity with people going on leave , Reporting into the surrounding post in the Boston area. It was hectic and alive. Our driver a 1st Class Yeoman ushered us through the crowds and to the waiting train where we had a compartment in a Pullman car.

“Chief, Mam I apologies for Captain Roach, there was no need for him to talk to you like that. Mam watch him, Chief my advice is keep a close eye on him he a right regular bastard……Sorry Mam.”


“Thanks mate I’ll do that.”

The bags settled I look at Britney as She had not said a word sense leaving Chelsea Naval.

“Mam you look frozen can I get you a coffee or something stronger to drink”

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

The ride was infact freezing but at least I was not being leered at by some rank officer! I hated the stench of cigar smoke and he was swabbed in it I was betting.
From jeep to train I went, teeth chattering a little as I boarded and located the car we would be occupying for the next few weeks.
"N-No tthank you Chief Tugas, I am just a l-little cold is all.. Any b-blankets in h-here?" I laughed as I stuttered from the cold.
Once settled down from our mutal laughter I conceeded, "perhaps a cup of coffee would b-be nice after all?" I shivered a little, his hands holding out a blanket for me. I thanked him quietly and covered up.
Glancing out the window I could see the Captain talking to someone before he headed towards the stairs to board as well. I hoped he would be in a car far from this one, I did not want to deal with him at all..

 

[cgraven]

"N-No tthank you Chief Tugas, I am just a l-little cold is all.. Any b-blankets in h-here?"

Britney laughter was infectious and her teeth chattering like castrates, I could not help but laugh Pulling a blanket from the over head compartment I held it out to her.

“Mam I think you better warp up in this before you’re the patient, I am afraid I make a horrible nurse. And I’ll rustle up some hot “Joe” for you be back in a minute.’

I left the little compartment and headed to the dining car. There was a line a mile long but I was ushered to the head of it by the head steward.


“Chief what can I get you.”

“Two Cups of coffee and a couple of Roast Beef sandwiches.”


Coffee’s no problem chief but I got only chicken and Ham for sandwiches.”

“Chicken will be fine.”

There slowly stated a soft murmuring in the car and one of the passengers said.

That’s him I’m sure pointing to the cover of Look.”


I paid no heed to them only wishing to get the hell out of ther.

With coffee and Sandwiches I Headed back to the little compartment when I hear

Smack

From within side. I barged in and there was Captain Roach with Britney’s hand print across her face her uniform disheveled.

“I think You Better go SIR and I would recommend that I don’t see you again, EVER”.

The Captain stormed out without a word.

Setting the coffee and sandwiches down I looked at her the fear and loathing in her eyes

“Britney are you all right.

It was the 1st time I had ever called her by her 1st name.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

He hadn't been gone two seconds before that lecherous moron was back in the room with me. Standing I tried to tell him to leave but be paid no attention me.
Coming closer he backed me into the corner, "I could help your career girly, all ya gotta do is follow orders.."
"I can manage my own career thank you Sir." I trembled a little, my eyes widening as he came towards me, further still if that was possible!
I backed up a step, "You already kissed the Chief, why not give me some as well?" He grabbed my arms and I yanked out of his hands, "That is quite enough! Get out!"
He grinned and grabbed me again, his lips landing down hard on my own. sick to death of this and grunting from the pain of his lips mashed to mine, I stomped on his toe with my heel.
"OW! You witch!" He made to grab me again when I slapped him hard across the face. He stood there stunned, fuming red as he gaped at me.
"How d-dare you! Get out right this instant before i have you thrown into the brig! GET OUT!" He ignored me until the door opened and David walked in. He glared at me and turned towards the door. He made it around the Chief and turned back, "We'll discuss this later Ensign Cole." It was a threat, clearly I could hear it in his voice. "Chief."
“I think You Better go SIR and I would recommend that I don’t see you again, EVER”. David spoke up as the man looked at him. Without a word, he turned and was gone. Trembling I sat down slowly on the edge of the bench seat. Trembling was a mild word for what I felt, scared was another. I was used to avoiding hands of sailors and locals but a higher ranking officer? How in the world would I be able to convince the Navy I did not provoke that?

“Britney are you all right. He asked me softly. Nodding, I shook from head to toe, never had I been provoked into striking a man! Never! My eyes watered a little as I felt like crying, but I hurried and sucked it up, no need on making a bigger fool of myself than I just did.
"Yes, thank you.. I am fine now Chief Tugas, thank you.." I grabbed the blanket and covered myself up a little, unsure what to say or do now. I felt embarassed the Chief witnessed that, lord what he must think of me now?!

 

[cgraven]

The Captain makes his exit glaring at me as if I where some uppity bum, beneath his noticed..

"Yes, thank you.. I am fine now Chief Tugas, thank you.."

I look at Britney huddled in her blanked her face ashen white. Shaking worst from this incident then from the biting cold of the jeep ride.

“Pardon me Mam you make a terrible lire did you know that.”

I sit down next to her and place the coffee and chicken sandwiches on the small fold down table. Then without thinking enfold her in my arms. holding her close to me.


“Bastards like that give the service a bad name. Britney we are all not like that.”


In that moment seeing the deep sorrow in her eyes my lips as if they had a mind of there own softly brush hers.

“Mam ………I……..Sorry……I didn’t……….”

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I smiled a little, he was right. I had never been good at lying about anything to anyone.
"There is no reason to worry so.." He sat beside me, his arms wrapping around me for comfort. Instead of reprimanding him for his show of affection, I allowed him to hug me close. It had been so long since anyone held me like this, there was no harm in a hug?
I rested my head on his shoulder a moment and then realized how badly this might appear if someone else came into the room. Sitting back up, I glanced at him to tell him I was alright, and then his lips were pressing to my own.
Gasping, He jerked back and appologized instantly. Shaken a little, I nodded, and scooted back into my seat. Both of us seperating on the bench a little, confused at what to do about all of this.
"It is alright Cheif Tugas.. And thank you very much for rescuing me." I smiled and reached out, taking his hand in my own. Giving it a squeeze, I released his hand, hiding the trembling he caused by letting him believe it was still fear of the Captain.
Confused yet again that he effected me so, I did not need this right now. And certainly not with an enlisted man! Last bit of trouble I needed, I had to accept that and keep a professional distance.

 

[cgraven]

The kiss broken Britney scooted back into the corner of the bench seat. Absentmindedly she nodded her head, she was still trembling.

"It is alright Chief Tugas. And thank you very much for rescuing me."

A little smile played at the corners of her mouth her small hand reaching out to squeeze mine, her eyes sad, confused, and the silence between us awkward. But it was there the light shining on her shoulder board and the thin ½ gold stripe, Britney Cole was an Officer and I was enlisted and that was that. The regs where quite clear on that point; She was off limits, to me but not to the likes of Captain Roach. Each of us a lone with our own thoughts.

The train rumbled on through the New England country side and what should have been an hour train ride from Boston had trued into a long tedious 5 hour journey as we where side tracked countless time to make way for troop trains, munitions trains, and trains loaded with critical war supplies. Finally the call of the conductor rang out.

Manchester New Hampshire, all off for Manchester New Hampshire. Next stop Conway.


“Well are you ready Ensign Cole”

I smiled at her then stood to retrive our bags from the over head rack. We where standing there when the train gave a sudden lurch. I caught Britney in my arms her body suddenly thrown against mine pressed hard to mine, as I struggled to keep us from falling are eyes meet, our lips so close. The brass band playing on the station platform.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I nodded and stood up to retrieve my bag when the train lurched. Falling forward, I went right into David's chest, his arms came around me to catch me and all else froze in place.
I stood there, draped against him, everything pressing together and all rational thought left my mind. Staring into his eyes, I could see the kindness and concern in them, but also something else more primative. I could feel his breathing washing over my lips and my heart did a wild leap in my breast.
"E-excuse me.." I whispered, still not moving away from him just yet. His hands felt good on my lower back, strong and big as well, made me feel something I hadn't felt since my fiance had last touched me. Now he was gone and I was left alone, thinking I would never feel that again! I had been wrong evidently.. David was making me light headed just holding me against him.
"I..... we...." Again I whispered, my eyes falling to his lips they looked inviting..
My hands trailed up his chest and clutched at the front of his inform, and before i knew what was what, I had leaned forward just enough, my lips met his and the heat inside the room began to climb unbearably higher! Pressing closer yet again, I kissed him more fully on the lips. His own stunned reaction delayed his responce but he quickly rectified that....

 

[cgraven]

Britney’s eyes are so soft they shine her body warm and inviting as we stand there as time ceases to flow. Her breath moist and warm on my cheek.

"E-excuse me.."

Her voice the softest of whispers. Yet Britney makes no effort to pull away and snuggles a little closer.

"I..... we...."

Again the soft whisper stirs my heart. Britney’s hand our on my chest, they hold the lapels of my uniform jacket. She rises on her toes leaning into me and our lips brush in a soft kiss. Britney lips pull back a little smile in her eyes and then her lips are on mine again this time she presses that kiss and I respond with a deep lingering kiss. Her mouth is sweet inviting and so warm. I crush her to me not giving a damn about rags or ran, for at this moment I am just a man and Britney a woman and a very desirable woman at that.

A banking on the compartment door slowly brings us back to reality.

Ensign Cole Chief Tugas they are waiting for you on the platform.”

The voice of Captain Roach is instant. I brush a stray strand of hair from Britney’s face. Smiling I kiss her once again lightly before we part.

“ Duty Calls Britney”

We straiten our uniforms and emerge from the Pullman compartment for the dog and pone show. The local VFW band plays. There are speeches, from the mayor the post commander and from Captain Roach. Britney and I are nothing more than widow dressing the excuse to get people to buy war bonds, the draw the young nurse and the old sea dog. I feel dirty used as I Roach goes on about me being a hero, never a word about the men who had died under my command serving their country. Britney portrayed as a heroin the angel of mercy nursing me back to health never a word on the long hours the double shifts that she and the other nurses had pulled over worked and blessed little time to rest.

The continuous pop, pop, of the news photographers cameras.

Finally we find ourselves lone in the lobby of the Place Hotel the day passed in a whirl wind of activity

“Britney I don’t know about you but I sure as hell could use a drink”.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I was worn out from posing and smiling all day long. My head hurt as well as my feet. And I thought nursing the men was hard, that was nothing compared to being the Navy's play toys.
Sighing, I nodded, following slowly behind the Chief, my mind on sleep for the most part. Off and on all day I could catch the Chief trying to smile and mean it, but when my eyes landed on his lips, I was sorely tempted to give him another kiss and let the press have a field day snapping those pictures.
Someone had asked if we were a 'couple' now that we had been so close for so long, I let David answer that one for I couldn't think of anything witty to say to that question. This was worse than a sewing circle! They wanted to know sorrid details and think we were two fairy tale people with this romantic idea they had. Granted it was a nice idea, but it was only a few days of knowing David! It hadn't been months, just days.
I smiled as he held the chair for me and sat down, still hardly able to think beyond rest.

 

[cgraven]

We headed for the little lounge off the lobby, a dimly lit little place and I lead Britney to a table in the far corner away from the main stream and shielded from the view of the lobby. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with Captain Roach this evening.

I held the chair for Britney then sat across from her. The cocktail waitress came over and drinks where ordered. As she served us she kept staring, finally she asked.

“Aren’t you………….”

A finger held to my lips stilled her question then a smile crossed her face.

"Come on you two you must be tiered of everyone staring at you. There is a small private room you can use."

Without waiting for an answer she picks up our dinks and motions us to follow her. She leads us to a small room off the lounge and sets the drinks down on the table and closes the door behind her as she quietly leaves. Britney and I stand there alone in the secluded little room my eyes meet hers and I see the fatigue in them and I take her into my arms holding the young nurse close to me.

“Been a tough day for you hasn’t it Britney?”

The back of my big calloused hands softly caresses Britney’s cheek. My fingers brushing the stray little hairs away from her face, I long to kiss her, yet I just stand there with her in my arms very much aware that we are from two different worlds and hers tells her she can have nothing to do with me, but the memory of that kiss on the train haunts me still.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I nodded my head in agreement and slowly pulled away from David. I did not need this right now, he was too tempting at times for my reasoning. Smiling though, I sat down and sipped my wine quietly.
I had so much in my mind, so much swirling around in there, I was a little lost on what to do? I wanted to talk to the captain about this whole thing but knew it would do me no good and only put me in his grubby hands again.
I wanted to speak with David about more than our day and perhaps more, but that was not only against regulations, it was something I didn't think I was truely ready for neither.
"Thank you for the wine David.. I am sorry I am not much company tonight. I am just worn out and wanting to rest." I fell silent sipping my wine again, thoughtful and wondering.
"Do you know where we are being sent next?" I was hoping back to base, I did not have much longer to serve before I would be sent home, my duty completed. I would like to say good bye to those doctors and nurses I worked with for so long now....
But here we were.. forced to sit through press conferences for nothing. I downed my wine and set the glass down on the table, watching the light shine through the crystal and red lip stick.

 

[cgraven]

Britney pulled away from me to take a sat at the small tale and my heart sunk. Slowly I took my seat toy with the glass. Her voice finally broke through to me.

"Thank you for the wine David.. I am sorry I am not much company tonight. I am just worn out and wanting to rest."


She feel silent and that silence was so awkward the closeness on the train now nothing but a distant memory.

"Do you know where we are being sent next?"

“Not sure all I know is at the end of the week we are suppose to be up in Berlin N H where my great uncle lives on a small farm. Hell if it wasn’t for the war I would be getting out in a month, but hell everyone has been extended for the duration, till this bloody mess is over with.”

Again the awkward silence set in. This next week would be hell being so close to her yet never being able to touch her, to be with her alone, and then there was Captain Roach as frosting on the cake.

“Well I guess we better call it a Night Ensign Cole”


**********************************************

Britney had drawn a line when she backed off and that was a clear message.

The next week was a whirlwind of whistle stops throughout the north country of Vermont Massachusetts, and up state New York. Always with Britney yet never really alone as the Good Captain was always hovering in the background.

Finally the last stop on the dog and Pony show Berlin N. H.

Uncle Samuel Tugas met us at the station and we climbed into his old 1930 Chevy coupe for the drive out to the farm. The usual round of pictures speeches and then finally they all drifted away till the morning. One more round of pictures then it was back to Boston this farce finally over.


Mr. Tugas where will we be sleeping tonight The Captain smirked.

“Ah Mon Capitaine you will be at the otel in town for me farm she is small just the room for my David and the young lady. You best be going now Capitaine for she grows late.”

Captain Roach was furious but there was little he could do as the local reporter from the White Mountains Chronicle was still there.

“Come on Captain I’ll give you a lift back to town”


And so we stood ther in my uncle’s door yard at last free of Captain Roach for the moment.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I watched as the Captain left and for the first time in weeks I was able to relax visibly. I turned back towards Mr. Tugas and smiled, "You have a lovely home, and thank you." I glanced around a little, taking in the sights and most of all.. The silence!
It was a heaven send to finally be free of clutters of people.
Tomorrow it would be back to the Naval base in Boston, but tonight would be solely my own.
I stood between the two men in silence, not daring to say much, but now that I was free of the train and press, I was content. Tonight I could do whatever I wanted for the first time in weeks.. I was betting David was also excited to be free of the Captain's watchful eye.

 

[cgraven]

Samuel Tugas watched his nephew and the pretty young just standing there. They both seemed ill at ease.

“Hay Zavid your old room she is still there and some the clothes too. I bet why not you change and relax some maybe?”

Then the old woods man turned to Britney

“Ma cher in the bedroom back there be some dress my little girl, she now with the navy like you. Perhaps maybe you find something nice to wear yes? I go make the supper now.”

I went back to the room that I had spent so many summer nights in the old metal bed the small dresser and the little closet. Rummaging threw the closet I found and old checked woolen shirt, a pair of woolen trousers with there suspenders.

I returned to the kitchen as my uncle was just checking the chicken he was roasting for our supper. We both turned as Britney came down the hall from the back bedroom.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I thanked him and went to the room he directed me too, but upon inspectin could find nothing that would fit over my bust. Hefting up my bags from the floor I searched for something suitable and every day wear until I found a white day dress. It was comfortable althought form fitting and slightly out of place, it would have to do.
Fixing my hair a little, I changed and made my way back towards the kitchen. Catching David staring at me, I flushed a little and smiled brightly at him.
"Thank you for the offer of a dress, but I am afraid none would fit me." i shrugged it off, feeling a little over dressed for a farm but I did not mind it so much.

 

[cgraven]

I stood there in silent awe as Britney came down the hall the white dress clinging to her form accentuating the gentle curves of her body She flushed a bit a touch of pink coloring her cheeks.

"Thank you for the offer of a dress, but I am afraid none would fit me."

Samuel always the wise one of the family spoke up.

Ma Cher you grace me poor little farm with you beauty, come the dinner she is ready.

“Britney you stunning “

I managed to say at last. The dinner was simple roasted chicken baked potatoes, green beans, and red wine to drink. I was seated across from Britney, and Samuel at the head of the table. He had a thousand and one questions on how we met. He avoided talking about the loss of the PC 113, or where my next posting would be. Then it was news of the aunts, uncles and cousins and where they where and what they where doing. He asked Britney about her family and home and how her people where faring. Most of it was lost on me as I had eyes only for Britney

Dinner over we sat around the kitchen table with coffee hot and black as he cleared the dishes and started the washing up.


“Uncle Samuel let me give you a hand”

Ah no you and tee young lady are tee guests I the washing up will do now set both of you.


When all was done Samuel look at us

You will forgive me but I go to de cabin on tee lake for to check me trap lines I will be back come the morning to see you off .

And with that Britney where left alone in the little farm house.

I stood there as the door closed wanting Britney more than I had wanted any woman but she had made it clear over the last week that it was not to be..

“More coffee”

was all I managed to say standing there like a little lost school boy at his first dance not knowing what to do.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

Smiling, I said good bye to Mr. Tugas and sat for a moment or so in silence. David got up and asked if I would like some coffee.
Nodding my head, I glanced up at him and smiled, "I would love some, thank you David." I held up my cup to him, his fingertips brushing my hand as he took the cup, a shiver crept up my spine once again.
Again my mind turned inwardly, wondering over the past week about this whole thing. Lost a little and more confused than anything, I knew what he thought, I could see it clearly on his face. He was affected by this as much as I was, only he could not hide it so well. Torn, and not sure what to do about it now, I smiled and sat there in silence once again.
Alone, no one around, it was all so tempting and yet it was not wise either to think about that, nor think about him and I. A complication I did not need nor want, but seemed I was getting no matter how hard I fought against the pull and him.
I wasn't paying attention when David brought back the cofee.....

 

[cgraven]

Britney glanced up a smile on her face.

"I would love some, thank you David."

Our fingers brushed as I took her cup and I felt the little shiver as her cheeks again where tinged with pink. Britney was lost in her own world her thoughts her own and closely guarded as I set her cup of coffee down. I reached out my hand to gently cover hers and taking a deep breath I started not sure at all of what I was going to say but I had to speak my mind and heart as this was our last day of the assignment before we would be parted.

“Britney that kiss the first day on the train there was something there something more than just mere relief at being away from Captain Roach.”

I paused a moment to gather my thoughts not waiting for her to answer I went on.

“I imagine that all patients fall for their nurses, yours was the face that called me back after the sinking of The PC 113 even when I wanted to just let go to have all the pain end you where there calling me back to the land of the living. This past week has been torture to me having you so near yet so far.”

Again I pause and swallow

“You said you lost some one you cared for very much all ready, killed in action. I can not even begin to know what that loss did to you. But we are at war Britney people die all the time. But is that a reason to run from life from love. None of us know how long we have especially now. Why not take happiness where we can find it, enjoy it while we may? This is our last night tomorrow we return to Boston, you to the Hospital at Chelsea and I report to the 1st Coast Guard District replacement center for assignment.”

A tear trickles down my cheek.

“Or is it that you feel nothing at all for me Britney?”

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

I stiffened a little, knowing what he was feeling and what he wanted, but he was just asking too much of me!
I sighed and tried to think... to be fair and honest with him, but still it was harder than I thought.
"Cheif Tugas... D-David.. listen to me alright?" I paused a moment, searching my mind for the right words and a truthful approach.
"You are confusing love with desire here.. Aren't you?" I paused, seeing the denial on his lips. Handsome as he was, charming as well, he was not thinking as clearly as I would have hoped.
"It is complicated, you know that?" I searched his eyes, knowing he knew the same as I did.
"And yes.. I lost someone I loved greatly, more than life its self and now.. Now he is gone." I let out a deeply held breath, my knuckles turning white from my grip on his hands. Easing up a little, I flushed and appologized to him for it.
"I have known you a mere three weeks David.....And in reality that is not a long time.. Granted I do feel something for you, but I am not going to... " I paused flushing brightly again, "I am not going to jepordize my morals because of a little tingle I feel when we touch.. Understand?" I felt his anger building for a moment and wondered what would happen if I pushed him too far away?
"I care for you David, but I am not a loose woman. I would be interested in persueing this further but at a comfortable pace.. Does that seem fair to you?" I held his hands this time, instead of him holding mine. I needed time and adjustment as well as trust to build as well as secure this feeling, see if it was real or merely loneliness. I hated making mistakes, as I was sure he did as well.

 

[cgraven]

I listened to Britney

“All you say may be true Britney, but I do love you. If it was a matter of just desire I would take you right here right now, and I know you would respond as you did on the train.”

I slipped my hand from hers, standing I went to the stove to pour another coffee. I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my shirt sleeve. Not trusting my voice I leaned against the stove my back to her. Slowly my hands shaking I pour the coffee the cup slipping from my hands to shatter on the kitchen floor. I stoop to pick up the scattered pieces

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

Standing from the table, I moved over silently and helped to pick up the shattered coffee mug. Catching his eyes, I could see he was deeply upset over all of this. Again I felt badly and wrong in all of this.
"Careful.. Don't cut yourself." I dumped the hand full of glass into the garbage can, watching him closely. Crouching down, we both stood up facing each other.
"What do you want from me David?" I felt like crying once again, so torn in what to do here?

 

[cgraven]

She comes to me helping to clean up the mess.

"Careful.. Don't cut yourself."


Her voice flat sad. The job complete we stand facing each other there is such deep sorrow and anguish in Britney’s eyes as the moments drag by in silence.

"What do you want from me David?"

Unshed tears shimmer in her eyes the conflict that rages within her plainly written there. Oh it would be so easy to take her to enjoy this one night but I can’t my eyes are sad as I speak.

“Britney for you to be happy.”

Again the silence that roars like thunder.

“The Hour is late you better get some sleep I’ll see you in the morning”

Kissing her on the cheek I leave Britney standing in the kitchen she had made her choice and I had respected it, though my heart was breaking as I made my way up the back stairs to the little room under the eves. Laying on the bed sleep would not come as I stare restlessly at the ceiling.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Britney Cole

Standing in the ktichen alone, I had so many conflicting emotions going through me, I wasn't sure what to do now?
I watched him leave and heard him climb the stairs, heading out of sight. He was hurting as much as I was, dare i risk it?
Was it worth going through all that nightmare again?
His words haunted me, living while we could, not putting it off for another day.
Without realizing my intent, I gripped the railing and climbed the stairs. Stopping in the bedroom assigned to me, I changed into my night gown. brushing out my hair, I sat on the bed thinking about this whole trip and how David time and time again came to my rescue. Never asking for anything in return for his kindness. gracious, caring and considerate, what would wouldn't be in love with him??
Love wasn't the issue here, I did feel love for him.. More so than I would have thought, it was the fear of losing yet another one to this viscious war going on around us right now.
Setting down the brush, I knew that this was our last night, our circle was complete and tomorrow I would once again be back on base and working my station...
Standing from the bed, I crept out into the hallway and turned towards the stairs. No matter the outcome ahead of us, I wanted to feel his strong arms holding me once more before we were seperated.
I stood at the top of the stairs, looking at him laying in the bed. Stretched out, his face was turned from me, watching out the window perhaps? Asleep? I wasn't sure, but I approached the bed and without another word, laid down beside him, scooting closer and placing my head on his shoulder.
"No matter what happens... " I whispered, trying to hold in the fear of the unknown, "I do love you David." My hand rested on his chest over his heart, my head on his shoulder, I was content here and for the first time in a very long time I felt safe and secure.