In and Out

[Miss Molly]

I wonder if anyone can help with some advice on this topic.

My Mistress/girlfriend/SO is not only out of the closet, but one might say, she is very upfront about it. She works at a job that actually makes it advantageous for her to be open about being a lesbian.

I, on the other hand, am in the closet in my professional life, although I am out to my friends and family. My job would become unbearably difficult, if not untenable, if I were out of the closet.

Someday, I hope the two of us could live together, all though that is not an option at this time for other reasons. But it's a nagging concern to me how we will eventually handle this situation.

Has anyone had experiences with this sort of situation?
I would appreciate hearing your views?

 

[Fallen_Angel_Eyes]

help

Well, my ex and I were in a similar situation, with her parents not being allowed to know etc....
But I think the main thing is everyone had their own ways of dealing with these things. If she's out, and you're not, that's just different approaches. you can perfectly easily live together without being seen as a couple - look at all the room mates out there.
There world is a bastard though, i hate the way people discriminate, but it's there. Don't forget that if the world is playing firty, you may as well do it right back at them. Anyway, opinions and principals seem to mellow out later on in life, and you may not stay together, so cross that bridge when you come to it.
Hope my inane ramblings provided some help.

FAE

 

[SweetCherry]

I'm not out to anyone other than one friend and my exhusband. I'm going to have to do it someday, but until then, I'm not gonna worry about it too much. They'll know when they need to. Until that time, I just live my life as I see fit. I don't really socialize too much with anyone in my area, it's not an issue for me.

 

[seXieleXie]

once you start coming out it can be really difficult to keep one foot still in the closet. hovering in the doorway gets to be tricky when you live with your partner. if you really don't want people to know, invent a boyfriend. a long distance one or something. but that kind of lie takes a lot of work.

your other option is just not to talk about it. sure, people may eventually start to wonder, especially if they know you're living with Christa, but it's not like you're under any obligation to confirm or deny.

some states have sexual orientation non-discrimination legislation (goddamn that's a mouthful). if you don't live in one of those states then there isn't much you can do.

i don't want to sound preachy, but i've always felt that a job where i can't be myself isn't the right job for me. to deny something that i find to be a fundamential part of my identity would just be harmful. but you should do what's right for you.

best of luck