I'm wondering

[Jenny_Jackson]

If there is a new way of doing the Sexual Olympics theme.

I think there needs to be some OBJECTIVE method of judging the competition. Thus far I have come up with events that can be judged this way:

Penis/Labia Weight Lifting
Load/Squirt distance
Load/Squirt volume
BJ/Cunnilingus Orgasm
Muff/Cock Diving

Any additional ideas would be appreciated.

In addition, I’m wondering if there should be, along with male and female contestants, gay men and lesbian women. I'd thought about this but assumed this would make for a very long story.

Your thoughts?

 

[snooper]

... Your thoughts?

Longest hold-out against cumming (both sexes).
Most orgasms in an hour (men).
Milk squirting "high jump" (lactating women).
Milk squirting "long jump" (lactating women).

Er ... that's it.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Kama-Sutra Synchronized Swimming.
Sybian as a Gymnastics aparatus - sort of like pommel-horse.
Or, for that matter, Gymnast-Twirling. The gymnast (male or female) performs their entire routine impaled on their partner's boner. Extra points for a 'money-shot' dismount.
Mixed-Doubles Rowing, or "Coupled-Shell" - The team faces each other and begins rowing and fucking, and they see how far they get before they come. Different teams use different positions in an effort to find just the right combination of speed and endurance.
Naked Wheelbarrow Race. The woman is the bottom, and the man can't use his arms to hold her up against him. (Has that been done already?) Each team also has a designated teammate who tries to make their opponents lose their erection. (probbly too much, but might add some flavor. Maybe there's an East German team, and the woman has fat hairy ankles, so whenever they get a lead their opponents go limp. The East German male has to race blindfolded, though. )
Daisy-Train Curling - Each team slides alternating male and female naked midgets down the ice. Oral-genital contact counts one point, genital-genital contact counts two points, and the total score is multiplied by how many midgets are in the longest chain at the end. (Okay, maybe that's too weird.)

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

This is Lit, Huck. Nothing's too weird

 

[DrDav]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b5/DoNotFeedTroll.png

 

[Carnevil9]

Why does it need to be OBJECTIVE judging? Much of the real Olympics is not judged on objective criteria (gynmastics, diving, etc.). If anything in the world is experienced (and enjoyed) in a non-objective manner, it is sex! Just thinking out loud here.....Carney

 

[wehstar]

Measuring the decibals of a female orgasm
Number of lashes from a whip in under a minute
Long distance accuracy of whip lashing
"Pony" racing
In school we had an event called the "obstacle race", where you had to race from one test of coordination and agility to the next - convert the obstacles to sexual tasks performed against a line of lucky people.

I believe scientists have sticky things they can put on people in order to measure sexual arousal, I don't know, electrode sensors or something.

On an unrelated point I always found Pool has erotic potential, all that bending over, loads of balls and pockets and big long cues. I think Snooker has now been recognised as an olympic sport (A pretty much guaranteed 3 medals for Britain!!), though I may be wrong.

 

[XXXAliceXXX]

Let's see:

- Rodeo Ridin ( How many times a girl can ride a guy to orgasm before he
manages to throw her off of himself, that is his job to do
that...but she has to make sure he doesn't)
- Best Blowjob ( Give one to all members of the jury and hear the verdict)
- Best Pussy Eatin ( Same as blowjob)
- Rape running ( the 5 runners are set free in an area full of obstacles ( like a
matrass playground of Paintball with matrasses as walls
roofs and floor and all kinds of spots to climb on an run in,
just one big maze) and 100 rapists of the opposite sex send
behind them. Who can be the last of the 5 to cum wins the
match )

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Let's see:

- Rodeo Ridin ( How many times a girl can ride a guy to orgasm before he
manages to throw her off of himself, that is his job to do
that...but she has to make sure he doesn't)
- Best Blowjob ( Give one to all members of the jury and hear the verdict)
- Best Pussy Eatin ( Same as blowjob)
- Rape running ( the 5 runners are set free in an area full of obstacles ( like a
matrass playground of Paintball with matrasses as walls
roofs and floor and all kinds of spots to climb on an run in,
just one big maze) and 100 rapists of the opposite sex send
behind them. Who can be the last of the 5 to cum wins the
match )

Mmmmmm Good Stuff

 

[AceStroker]

Cock fighting

Pee distance contest

Quickest gyn exam performed by a male doctor (though its anyone's guess why the quickest performance would win the award.)

90 meter breast stroke (either in pool or in bed, doesn't much matter where this is performed)

Synchronized hand jobs.