Now, i've grown up with a very strong attraction to women. We're talking borderline unnatural, i was getting it up at age 7 to the thought of banging a woman. And of course, i always wanted and fantasized about various relationships i wanted with girls (though i've never dated, i'm 22 currently. Never been too good with conversing with girls). However, things have started changing, and i mean dramaticly, so let me start from the first incident.
Since my last year in highschool, i started wondering if i might be gay, but this wasnt based off anything but self-doubt. I wondered, but never had an attraction to men. A over a year ago, i finally noticed i had an attraction to the male penis, and loved the idea of sucking on one. More recently, i've become more attracted to the male body in general (i'm not a fan of muscular/hairy men though). I always pawned it off thinking "Well, i could never have an emotional connection so i'm still straight" but now recently, because of the stress i get everytime i try to ignore or push off these newly developing feelings, i decided to open my mind up and think about it for a moment "Well...could i?" And now i think it might actually be possible for me to have an actual relationship with a man, i certainly connect with men more easily than women, but then that's also true for ALL men.
Here's the real kicker: though i still have an attraction for women, it is nowhere near as strong as it was just a year ago. The site of a breast or vagina will no longer get me hard, it takes something extremely extravagent to get me up, usually has to have a male present, and blowjobs always get me up, but i'm noticing i keep thinking about sucking on the dick and less about getting sucked. I find it strange that my attractions seem to be fluctuating, givin all the hubbub about "You're born with your attractions". I am now very, very confused. I've also noticed, i can rarely fantasize about relationships with girls, but i think it might be confidence issues.
As you might imagine, this is causing quite a bit of confusion. Now, i personally have no problem whatever way i go, but i'm getting quite a bit of anxiety because atleast, i would like to actually know wtf is going on inside my head. I'd like to know which way i'm gonna land so i could adjust accordingly. Sudden change like this is also causing quite a bit of anxiety and confusion. Why is this happening? I will admit, when the thoughts first appeared, i tried to suppress/ignore it as much as possible, however my anxiety got so bad and i got so close to commiting suicide several times i decided, since i very much value my life, to embrace these thoughts and truly examine them. I wish i could have a sit down with my subconcious and just say "Ok. Wtf is up.". Any help/advice/info on this, rather confusing situation, is greatly appreciated.
Since my last year in highschool, i started wondering if i might be gay, but this wasnt based off anything but self-doubt. I wondered, but never had an attraction to men. A over a year ago, i finally noticed i had an attraction to the male penis, and loved the idea of sucking on one. More recently, i've become more attracted to the male body in general (i'm not a fan of muscular/hairy men though). I always pawned it off thinking "Well, i could never have an emotional connection so i'm still straight" but now recently, because of the stress i get everytime i try to ignore or push off these newly developing feelings, i decided to open my mind up and think about it for a moment "Well...could i?" And now i think it might actually be possible for me to have an actual relationship with a man, i certainly connect with men more easily than women, but then that's also true for ALL men.
Here's the real kicker: though i still have an attraction for women, it is nowhere near as strong as it was just a year ago. The site of a breast or vagina will no longer get me hard, it takes something extremely extravagent to get me up, usually has to have a male present, and blowjobs always get me up, but i'm noticing i keep thinking about sucking on the dick and less about getting sucked. I find it strange that my attractions seem to be fluctuating, givin all the hubbub about "You're born with your attractions". I am now very, very confused. I've also noticed, i can rarely fantasize about relationships with girls, but i think it might be confidence issues.
As you might imagine, this is causing quite a bit of confusion. Now, i personally have no problem whatever way i go, but i'm getting quite a bit of anxiety because atleast, i would like to actually know wtf is going on inside my head. I'd like to know which way i'm gonna land so i could adjust accordingly. Sudden change like this is also causing quite a bit of anxiety and confusion. Why is this happening? I will admit, when the thoughts first appeared, i tried to suppress/ignore it as much as possible, however my anxiety got so bad and i got so close to commiting suicide several times i decided, since i very much value my life, to embrace these thoughts and truly examine them. I wish i could have a sit down with my subconcious and just say "Ok. Wtf is up.". Any help/advice/info on this, rather confusing situation, is greatly appreciated.
