I'm the wrong sex

[Guest]

I hope you guys and gals will all understand why I'm not using my registered name.

I guess I suffer from what they call Gender Dysphoria Disorder. That means I'm female in body but in all other aspects I feel male. I've felt like that for as long as I can remember. Like when I was a kid I never played girl games with girls, I always played with trucks and played football with the boys. When we would play games of pretend I would always pick a male character with a male name. In my head I'd even "rename" myself with a gender neutral or boy's name, whatever name I liked at the time.

I don't cross dress exactly I just dress ambiguously, like most of the clothes in my closet either a man or a woman could wear. I don't own a dress and a lot of my clothes are men's. But I don't wear suits or things like that like you might be thinking although I would if it were socially acceptable. I just wear jeans and tennies, button down shirts in solid colors, things like that.

I've been told that most of my mannerisms and even my voice are masculine. My body isn't even that feminine. I have really small breasts and no hips to speak of. Sometimes I wonder if I don't have like an extra hormone or too much or not enough of something that makes me feel like a guy.

When I get mistaken for male it makes me mad but only because I feel like I'm "supposed to be" a girl and I get mad at myself because I don't feel like one really.

I've been to doctors and they all want to put me on medication to "fix" me even though there is nothing else, well what they say, wrong with me other than this. I'm not depressed, I'm not schizophrenic, nothing. I have a boyfriend and a part time job and I'm a B+ college student. I don't have a disorder I was just born with the wrong body.

Their only point is that I'm heterosexual. Well couldn't I just be a gay man? If I can't get help and live as and BE a man pretty soon I don't know what I'll do I'm hoping someone can help me. If anybody knows of anyone that can help can you let me know? Just post and tell me to e-mail you and I will I have an e-mail address so that no one knows who I am.

 

[lobito]

It's not YOUR problem, it's everyone elses, who thinks they know better for YOUR own good.

In other words, Fuck 'em.

 

[pdx39]

I understand the feeling

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

 

[Guest]

I wish I had some advice. I admit I've not much experience with these issues.
I did come across this link:
http://www.avitale.com/ResourceLinks.html

Maybe this can lead you to resources that may be helpful.
Good luck!

 

[morninggirl5]

I found two websites that may provide you with some more information and resources to help.

They both have numbers for more information, although neither is a free call.

http://www.metrokc.gov/health/glbt/transgender.htm

http://www.critpath.org/thac/index.html

Good luck.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I'm not to sure which sex I am, or which I'm supposed to be and which sex I'm supposed to be interested in.

HELP

Maybe we can help eachother. "I thought we could be creamy together" - Alanis Morisette

 

[Guest]

Thank you all so much for listening and trying to help. I'll check those sites out when I get a chance but I'm going to bed right now.

Again thank you and thank you for not making fun of me.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Unregistered, my first thought was that you sounded a lot like my second girlfriend. She was very "male" in thought and only got off on fucking me with a strap-on (the thought of which still turns me on to this day).

But you said you weren't lesbian. Gender issues are very complex. I sense that you are young. Please seek out some sort of support.

You are not abnormal in any way. You are an amazingly open and honest person. Not many can admit these issues even to themselves in the dark of night. You did it here. Even under anonymity, your voice was heard, especially to yourself. You have courage and that will carry you through sweetheart

 

[SweetCherry]

Unregistered, I have a male friend going thru these same issues. He actually resents his penis and wishes he could become a woman but he can't afford the surgery or hormone treatments it would take to make it happen. I was rather surprised when he told me of his feelings because he doesn't seem like he's got an issue like this. He is, tho, honestly of the opinion that he really is a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I know that saying is so cliche, but he's attracted to women. He just hates being a man. Good luck to you in whatever you do.

 

[seXieleXie]

Unregistered

i know also know a man who has had the same kind of experiance. i will refer to this person as she from now on because she is living her life as a woman and i respect that.

she also felt she was born with the wrong body. she tried to be a straight man and it felt wrong. she tried to be a gay man and it felt even worse. she went through a long personal struggle to figure out what kind of life she could lead and still be happy. she cannot afford the sex change operation, but has had breast implants and lives her life as a lesbian woman. there are many others in your plight, Unregistered. if you want to PM me with your general location i will try to locate some more resources for you. please know you are not alone and you are not a freak.