I'm selling my vote

[Tzara]

Hey. It's November, the month (at least in the USA) of Thanksgiving, but also the month of Our Major Election. By this time next year we will have ousted the current regime and instilled some other. Forgive me if I am tepid in my expectations.

So. What could possibly be a more appropriate challenge for the month than to combine charity and greed?

Here's the score: Give money to some charity and I'll vote your poem (or story, I am not that particular) a five. Hell, I'll even write you some glorious commentary (assuming you have that turned on) that should inspire others to hop on your aesthetic bandwagon. Maybe kite your missive all the way to number one on the Lit Top List! Wouldn't that like make your day?

Rules: You have to tell me, obviously, what poem or story I'm suposed to pump. (Hint: PM.) I thought about having you fax me a copy of your check (name, address, and, most importantly, bank routing codes, obscured), but I have decided to trust you all. Isn't that wonderful of me? Just swear on a stack of whatever--Bibles, Zig Zag papers, Google stock certificates, high school yearbooks--that you are donating at least, say $10 (easy, hey?) to the Charity of Your Choice, tell me what poem/story you want me to rave about, and we're square.

Rules adaptable as we go along, of course.

So buy me people. My vote's for sale.

Cha-ching!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

At the end of this month, I'm running a MAJOR fundraiser for our local Adopt-A-Family charity. What'll you give me for that? Keeping in mind of course that I don't really care about votes, comments or winning anything.

bj

 

[Angeline]

At the end of this month, I'm running a MAJOR fundraiser for our local Adopt-A-Family charity. What'll you give me for that? Keeping in mind of course that I don't really care about votes, comments or winning anything.

bj

I'll contribute to that. It won't be much cause I'm fairly poor, but if you tell me where to send the contribution, you've got it. I don't want any votes either. Tzara, pick somebody's poem who should get a 5 (in your opinion) and give em my vote.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'll contribute to that. It won't be much cause I'm fairly poor, but if you tell me where to send the contribution, you've got it. I don't want any votes either. Tzara, pick somebody's poem who should get a 5 (in your opinion) and give em my vote.

Kewl. Way kewl. Totally jackin' this thread for a moment. Anyone who wants in on that should PM me and I'll tell you how to get money to the fundraiser.

Adopt-a-Family is particularly fun because it's a whole project. Families apply to one of the charities here in town and give them a wish list. We raise the money with specific profiles in mind and then we actually buy, wrap and deliver the presents to the charity, who delivers them to the families. Presto: instant happy Xmas. So we get to feel like we know these people - last year there was a freshman in college, there on a full scholarship and poor as anything, and we managed to get him a good used laptop for about $50 from a cool donor. And we got to buy a pink bedroom linen set for a 14 year old girl. Pink EVERYTHING. It was a hoot.

They also get grocery certificates out of the money we raise, so they can do a nice Xmas dinner.

This year the party we're throwing is a Pirate Party in My Bar. Same folks as reviewed your poetry. These people come in droves for our parties and will give us not only every dollar they have but also donations for the raffle and stuff like that. They're amazing. We even have a Very Bad Santa of our own - he's a professional year round Santa who drinks with us every Friday night and lets me sit on his lap whenever I want... He always puts in a major appearance at our parties, even the ones in July, and hands out stuffed animals to all the women. Amazingly cool guy. He let us dress him up like Baby New Year once... with an enormous baby bottle full of vodka...

anyway, anybody who wants to take TZ's dare this way is welcome to PM me for info, and I'll testify on your behalf. I can also send receipts for taxes if anyone wants one. And as to amounts: Five bucks? Ten? That's five or ten we didn't have before. And that's how the big amounts get raised - one, five and ten at a time. That doesn't just go for my personal fundraiser. Go to one in your own area. Give 'em ten bucks, have a good time, feel good about yourself, and maybe work off a little of that bad karma. Everybody wins, nu?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled political corruption.

bj

 

[Tzara]

At the end of this month, I'm running a MAJOR fundraiser for our local Adopt-A-Family charity. What'll you give me for that? Keeping in mind of course that I don't really care about votes, comments or winning anything.

bj

Are you offering a night with Bette Davis and Anne Baxter? (I am looking at your av, sweet.)

Boo ya! I'd pay for that.

You're reading your PMs, right? OK, well, I want Bette kneeling...

Oops. That's privat, unfortunately.

 

[Tzara]

I'll contribute to that. It won't be much cause I'm fairly poor, but if you tell me where to send the contribution, you've got it. I don't want any votes either. Tzara, pick somebody's poem who should get a 5 (in your opinion) and give em my vote.

Okey, dokey, Ms. A. I will.

And, given the tenor of your response, I will do so fer someone else.

This is good. Yours are all fives.

Yes, that was sucking up. Wuz that too obvious?

Uh, sorry.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Are you offering a night with Bette Davis and Anne Baxter? (I am looking at your av, sweet.)

Boo ya! I'd pay for that.

You're reading your PMs, right? OK, well, I want Bette kneeling...

Oops. That's privat, unfortunately.

I just don't think Bette was the kneeling type. I see her more as Julie Marsden or Elizabeth Regina.

And are you sure you want Anne Baxter's teeth anywhere near ...anything important to you?

bj

 

[WickedEve]

I donated canned food to the local food pantry. Some of it was the good stuff like spaghetti and meat balls. Okay, and a few cans of... creamed corn. But I don't have anything to vote on!

 

[Angeline]

I donated canned food to the local food pantry. Some of it was the good stuff like spaghetti and meat balls. Okay, and a few cans of... creamed corn. But I don't have anything to vote on!

We could each do something charitable each week and pool our fives, have a newbie of the week award where some unsuspecting poet gets a bunch of fives. You know like a poetry welcome wagon?

Too weird right? I have too much time on my hands today, right? It's just that you made me remember my own creamed corn, plus a bunch of clothes and books I've been meaning to take to the Good Will store. And what new poet wouldn't like a whole bunch of fives?

 

[WickedEve]

We could each do something charitable each week and pool our fives, have a newbie of the week award where some unsuspecting poet gets a bunch of fives. You know like a poetry welcome wagon?

Too weird right? I have too much time on my hands today, right? It's just that you made me remember my own creamed corn, plus a bunch of clothes and books I've been meaning to take to the Good Will store. And what new poet wouldn't like a whole bunch of fives?

Not a bad idea. I like the new poet welcome wagon. We take a new poet, one who shows interest in participating on the board, and we offer the poet a gift basket of comments and votes.

 

[Angeline]

Not a bad idea. I like the new poet welcome wagon. We take a new poet, one who shows interest in participating on the board, and we offer the poet a gift basket of comments and votes.

I have a nominee for this week: l8bloom. I reviewed a poem of hers Tuesday, and she's very good. Check out her Love Poems from the A&P (listen to her mp3 of it to get the full effect). She has been at Lit for about a year and has submitted a heap of stories, but just a handful of poems. And she says in her profile that she likes votes.

In fact, Tzara? Will you give that Love Poem my 5? It deserves it for making me really, really laugh.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

We could each do something charitable each week and pool our fives, have a newbie of the week award where some unsuspecting poet gets a bunch of fives. You know like a poetry welcome wagon?

Too weird right? I have too much time on my hands today, right? It's just that you made me remember my own creamed corn, plus a bunch of clothes and books I've been meaning to take to the Good Will store. And what new poet wouldn't like a whole bunch of fives?

Hell yeah. And we may as well introduce them right away to the political corruption that runs rampant through our snarky elitism in here. (Groucho Marx style eyeroll at camera here).

'Course, we'd do that for people who deserved the fives anyway, so I guess that's not all that corrupt. More like a benevolent theocracy with Tzara as our pope.

hm.

bj

 

[Angeline]

Hell yeah. And we may as well introduce them right away to the political corruption that runs rampant through our snarky elitism in here. (Groucho Marx style eyeroll at camera here).

'Course, we'd do that for people who deserved the fives anyway, so I guess that's not all that corrupt. More like a benevolent theocracy with Tzara as our pope.

hm.

bj

They have plenty of time to come here and be exquisitely corrupted by us and find out that the system is um flawed. But by then we have them in our clutches. And they get fives in the bargain (but only if the poem deserves it!).

 

[Angeline]

Hell yeah. And we may as well introduce them right away to the political corruption that runs rampant through our snarky elitism in here. (Groucho Marx style eyeroll at camera here).

'Course, we'd do that for people who deserved the fives anyway, so I guess that's not all that corrupt. More like a benevolent theocracy with Tzara as our pope.

hm.

bj

Besides, the idea of being a slightly mad poetry welcome wagon lady on a porn site makes me giggle.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Besides, the idea of being a slightly mad poetry welcome wagon lady on a porn site makes me giggle.

BWAH!

Herbal tea Fu. Now I get to add another substance to the list of things you've put through my sinuses.

Totally excellent idea. So your title now is something like,

Her Eminence Ange the Perv, Slightly Mad Porn Poetry Welcome Wagon Lady, Esq.?

bj

 

[WickedEve]

I have a nominee for this week: l8bloom. I reviewed a poem of hers Tuesday, and she's very good. Check out her Love Poems from the A&P (listen to her mp3 of it to get the full effect). She has been at Lit for about a year and has submitted a heap of stories, but just a handful of poems. And she says in her profile that she likes votes.

In fact, Tzara? Will you give that Love Poem my 5? It deserves it for making me really, really laugh.

I'm off with my gift basket to read the poems. Skip, skip, skip along.

 

[Angeline]

BWAH!

Herbal tea Fu. Now I get to add another substance to the list of things you've put through my sinuses.

Totally excellent idea. So your title now is something like,

Her Eminence Ange the Perv, Slightly Mad Porn Poetry Welcome Wagon Lady, Esq.?

bj

Oooh I like that. Except maybe instead of the Esq I can be a Fud. I always meant to get my doctorate.

Her Eminence Ange the Perv, Slightly Mad Porn Poetry Welcome Wagon Lady, Fud.

 

[Angeline]

I'm off with my gift basket to read the poems. Skip, skip, skip along.

Are you skipping along with a basket in nothing but those blue panties? My, won't she feel welcome!

 

[Tzara]

I have a nominee for this week: l8bloom. I reviewed a poem of hers Tuesday, and she's very good. Check out her Love Poems from the A&P (listen to her mp3 of it to get the full effect). She has been at Lit for about a year and has submitted a heap of stories, but just a handful of poems. And she says in her profile that she likes votes.

In fact, Tzara? Will you give that Love Poem my 5? It deserves it for making me really, really laugh.

Absolutely, Ms. A. I agree--very funny, superbly read, and damn professional sounding production values. Absolute five.

Also, you do recognize that the background music is My Funny Valentine, don't you?

 

[Tzara]

Interesting. The poems are taken from a story she wrote: Secret Admirer at the A&P. She's a very good writer.

She's apparently also a baseball fan. Cubs, though, poor dear.

 

[Angeline]

Absolutely, Ms. A. I agree--very funny, superbly read, and damn professional sounding production values. Absolute five.

Also, you do recognize that the background music is My Funny Valentine, don't you?

About halfway through, I did. She gets extra props from me for creative use of jazz lol.

It's a real eye opener to wade through someone's list of submissions. I think the lesson, at least for me, is if I see a poem I like from someone I don't know, I need to check out their other poems.

 

[LeBroz]

.
.

Really enjoyed the A&P — really well done as I lost it at the cookies and granola!




Edited to add: And while the Wicked lady's running about in those blue panties, don't forget today's Thursday. Put that at the top of Hugo's Honey Do list ~ Remind Eve when it's Thursday. & the A&P's about the best you get today.



.
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[WickedEve]

Are you skipping along with a basket in nothing but those blue panties? My, won't she feel welcome!

Loved your comment on the A & P poem. Guess we now have an official welcome wagon. lol

turquoise

 

[Angeline]

Loved your comment on the A & P poem. Guess we now have an official welcome wagon. lol

turquoise

I'll be sorry about six weeks from now lol. Another thing for ee to listen to me bitch about.

 

[l8bloom]

Holy Naked Samolians, Batman!

I'm completely bowled over!! THANKS for the many, many kind words on my poems and stories. http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/images/smilies/lovehearts.gif

http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/images/smilies/foryou.gif to Angeline, LeBroz, Tzara, WickedEve, wildsweetone, champagne1982 and unpredictablebijou ... I hope I'm not missin anybody.

I will definitely tell my husband you liked the studio work. He's a professional http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/images/smilies/musicguitar.gif.

Angeline, thanks for the welcome-wagon idea and for nominating me to be 1st on the wagon. I will try not to fall off!

Tzara, I didn't think you were creepy. You'll have to try harder.

WickedEve, about the blue panties ... uh ... I don't quite know what to say.

Regarding the Cubs ... oooops there goes my lunch hour; I must fly.

At the risk of gushing, thanks for inviting me to your mad tea party. I feel all wiggly & stuff.