I'm caught in a triangle

[cmky]

I feel like I'm in a teen drama, and need some help.

I'm going to try to paint this picture as broadly as possible, so if you need more details, please ask.

Me and my best friend. I can't say exactly when we started being intimate, but it's been going on for a few months now. We aren't girlfriends, we aren't even really all that romantic. Okay, I guess we are. We hold hands when no one is looking. Not that we're ashamed, but people talk. We are tender, not romantic, if that makes sense.

Both of us had boyfriends during part of this period, but we kept our thing a secret. Now she is 'single' and a guy has come into the picture for me, a guy I have had a crush on for a long, long time.

So this guy is really cool. I like him a lot. I want to go out with him, and I don't want to hide what I have with my girl, but I have no idea how to approach the subject, or how things like this tend to go.

So from my girl's perspective, I know she has been with a girl since we have started having sex. We aren't exclusive; it isn't really about that. So neither of us is the jealous type.

From my perspective, well, honestly I want to have my cake and eat it too (pun intended). I like the guy, and I like my girl.

From the guy's perspective. Hell, I have no idea. I know he wants to be with me. But then what? I know you guys are going to say to talk it out, and I will, but what is realistic here? Can I really expect that I can continue to have this thing with my girl and expect him to be exclusive with me? I have no problem saying no to other dudes; one cock is enough. But is he going to want to watch, or join in? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

So I guess I'm just trying to get a handle on how these sorts of things work. If you've had any experience, please let me know how it went for you.

 

[Missouribiguy]

Hmmmm,

Well, I'm not in a relationship of right now, but I do know that you should be honest to him about your feelings. If he cares about you, it shouldn't really matter.

And for a more stereotypical answer, most guys don't mind watching or joining in with two girls. Hell, I admit that it would be cool having a bi girlfriend and watch her play with another chick. But, that's just me, and I know some guys aren't really into that.

So, it all depends about you being honest with him and how he would react.

 

[cmky]

Yeah, I kinda figured that. But you know, it's like guys think it's cool, but then when they see their girl getting off and it's not them, things get messy.
I'd have no problem with it, and I don't mind having that conversation, if it comes to that.

So like, if me and my roomie are wasting some time, and he walks in, we're not going to stop. Does that mean he can come in and watch? Find with me. The roomie/bf? I'm not so sure. Could he join in?
Now I gotta be honest. Can I watch him do her? I don't know about that one. Dang. This is complicated.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Look, I can only give you the voice of (my) experience. Doesn't matter if you are straight, gay, lesbian, or bi, triangles do not work, will probably end both of your relationships, and could cause a great deal of personal pain (always mental, maybe physical). Unless you explain it to both, and ask. If you do that, you will probably lose both. If you don't tell and ask, they will find out, and you will lose both. Or, they may accept (doubtful). In this case, I recommend honesty. If they find out on their own, they may try to destroy you and your reputation, if you tell them, you can probably split with no real damage (except to their feelings). Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Best of luck to you, but you put yourself into this box, and only you can figure out the best way for you to handle it.

 

[klippert]

honesty

honesty.....Like the sun shine is THE best disinfectant..... My point, be honest. Once your dishonest you'll have too keep lying too cover for your first blunder....

You don't have too tell him anything right now. You can wait and see just where your relationship is leading....

 

[cmky]

Hey guys,
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.

I haven't been dishonest with anyone, and I'm not going to be. 'J', my best friend, knows I have a crush on this guy, we've been talking about it for weeks. I haven't noticed any jealous or negative feelings on her part, and I'd be kind of surprised if I did. She's not the jealous type, and we are not in any kind of exclusive relationship.
The only rule that we have is that if one of us doesn't like a person, the other won't have sex with them.
Wow, on screen it looks like we're banging everything that moves, but it's not like that. We're free spirits, not hobags. It's more like we're watching our backs, because we don't want some crotch disease. There was this one chick J was interested in sleeping with but I told her the girl was a skank (which she totally is) so she dropped it. She's done the same for me. I don't have the best track record when it comes to guys. My last bf cheated on me the entire time we were together.

Anyway, the guy in question probably doesn't know that J and I are intimate, but he'll find out soon enough because that's not something I hide. I guess I'll take it from there.