I'm Bored, Let's go to Walmart

lil_elvis

So pazzo
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Posts
4,827
Here's my list:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they're not looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in house wares and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels

13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through,
say PICK ME!

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!

And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
 
Here's mine:

Sit in the parking lot & talk (or, rather, listen) on the phone. :devil:
 
impressive said:
Here's mine:

Sit in the parking lot & talk (or, rather, listen) on the phone. :devil:

*snort*

yep, got an email today
 
lil_elvis said:
And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Okay -- that one REALLY got me laughing. :)
 
This is hilarious, though #8 wouldn't be realistic cause no Wal-Mart clerk is ever going to come up and ask if they can help you. :rolleyes:
 
I was going to give a snarky reply. Something along the lines of 'How about you just boil me alive in hot lye instead?'

Now, I have a reason to go to Wally World.
 
you know... you laugh and it is my hope to one day become the worlds best meeter-greeter.
:mad:
 
vella_ms said:
you know... you laugh and it is my hope to one day become the worlds best meeter-greeter.
:mad:

you got a ways to go ... the ones around here have a median age of 93
 
ABSTRUSE said:
How are you with Cart wrangling?


not all that great...but that wouldnt fall under my jurisdiction..
maybe by the time i get to 93, i might be more well versed ...
ill break a hip trying!
 
vella_ms said:
not all that great...but that wouldnt fall under my jurisdiction..
maybe by the time i get to 93, i might be more well versed ...
ill break a hip trying!
I have faith that you will be employee of the month. :rose:
 
ABSTRUSE said:
I have faith that you will be employee of the month. :rose:
take me to work on the short bus?
we can hold hands and skip together.
 
vella_ms said:
take me to work on the short bus?
we can hold hands and skip together.
I'm going to work in the pet dept scooping out the dead fish.
 
OhMissScarlett said:
This is hilarious, though #8 wouldn't be realistic cause no Wal-Mart clerk is ever going to come up and ask if they can help you. :rolleyes:

Beat me to it.

Or just beat me? :)
 
rgraham666 said:
I was going to give a snarky reply. Something along the lines of 'How about you just boil me alive in hot lye instead?'

Now, I have a reason to go to Wally World.

Psh, like you needed one. :rolleyes:

Greeting: Welcome to Wal-Mart

You: *stands just beyond the greeter*

Greeter: May I help you?

You: Uh.....

Greeter: What are you looking for?

You: I.... don't.... know....

Greeter: Did you forget?

You: Uh.... *furls brow*
 
lil_elvis said:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they're not looking.
Something similar for when you're invited to parties this Holiday season. If your host has teenage daughters, fold up an Early Pregnancy test box and have it in your pocket. Then while using the bathroom, take it out and put it at the top of the wastebasket.

You'll give your hosts a Christmas they will never forget.
 
Ted-E-Bare said:
Something similar for when you're invited to parties this Holiday season. If your host has teenage daughters, fold up an Early Pregnancy test box and have it in your pocket. Then while using the bathroom, take it out and put it at the top of the wastebasket.

You'll give your hosts a Christmas they will never forget.


Good lord! Get someone pregnant to pee on the damned thing, first! :D
 
impressive said:
Good lord! Get someone pregnant to pee on the damned thing, first! :D
Now I see why you aren't invited to parties together anymore.
 
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