I'm a Virgin???

[Nicole]

Hey everyone I just noticed that I'm a Virgin. When did this Happen? One minute I'm a new kid the next I'm a virgin.

Here I am Thinking that once you have a child your virginity is well and truly fucked and now you tell me I'm a virgin again!

Now I'm going to have to find someone to take my virginity again!

"Does anyone want a virgin?" "Just please be gentle with me"

 

[Deborah]

Well Nicole, we just might be able to help you out. Can you sing "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport" or bark?

Reason I ask is we have this list of available cherry poppers. There were ten but Nurse is on vacation and she just went through eight of them. But we do have Zeke and Fucking Bruiser still available to do the dirty deed.

 

[Jasdf]

I'm only a new kid (last time I checked) but I'd be willing to help

Well look here, It looks like I'm a virgin too. Lets get togeather and 'loose our virginity'!

[This message has been edited by Jasdf (edited 02-13-2000).]

 

[Sammyjo]

deborah...is that really a song? I think I might like to hear it....do you have the lyrics?

LOL

 

[Laurel]

Yes, that's really a song, and I think that's the only lyrics... something like:

Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down"

I don't know if it has any other lyrics, and I can't really describe the tune... I had a crazy Aussie first-grade teacher and she made us learn it. She was also in love with Neil Diamond and played his records at us when we had free time at the end of class. Scarred me for life, it did. "Song Sung Blue, weeping on my pillow..."

 

[Ravenloft]

Hey now! Don't knock Diamond girls Laurel!

My mom is a faithful Diamond girl! Watch your step! Or she just might have to post something... And she is deathly afraid of all things electronic... Accept for tetris... For some odd reason...

[This message has been edited by Ravenloft (edited 02-12-2000).]

 

[Unclebill]

Hey, Laurel, there wer at least two other verses in 'Tie Me Kangaroo Down'. One was about '. . me platypus duck, BIll' and the other was about 'Digerydoo'.

Now we're diggin' up really old stuff!

 

[Chas]

As far as I can remember gang , ad I really should know being an Aussie - but mind is slipping....
Tie me kangaroo down sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down sport
Tie me kangaroo down

Keep me cockatoo cool Curl,
Keep me cockatoo cool
And don't go acting the fool Curl
Just keep me cockatoo cool

Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I'm dead
So they tanned me hide when I died,Clyde
And thats it hanging on the shed

and that's all I can remember

 

[Laurel]

LOL!!! Wow, the things I learn here...

 

[Firesprite]

maybe its just us kiwis who know the whole song? there are about 20 verses to it, depending on if you want to include the raunchy versions..

being a virgin again suits me

 

[Fallen Angel]

I love it. Where else can you go where the virgins are so experienced.
Endlessly it looks like Mr right is a little too late, Laurel took away the cherry.

Tie me kangaroo down
Wasn't there something about making tea by the billybong
firesprite if you know the uncensored version why don't you share it. I didn't learn that part in boy scouts.

 

[Avatar]

Posted by firesprite: "maybe its just us kiwis who know the whole song?"

We bloody should know it, it played on a Telecom Tv ad (for cheap calls to aussie) for like years!!

Unfortunatly (and lucky for me) I don't know remember the words, and I've gone through too much therapy to dredge up old memories about it....oh hell chas, now you've done it, bad song stuck in my head.... NOOOOoooo!! okay its better that Ricky Martin, just, but thats as far as I'll go...

The raunchy version sounds interesting, that way I only have to remember the tune... so yeah, post it firesprite...

 

[Chas]

oh dear Fallen Angel - that's aother song altogether called Waltzing Matilda , one part being.....

"Once a jolly swagman, camped by a billabong,
Under the shade of a coolabah tree,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me"

We shouldn't start this you know, someone will want the words of "My boomerang won't come back " next ! LOL

 

[Bs]

Heres one you made me remember:

In the shade of the old apple tree,
is where she first showed it to me
it was ugly and black and the called it her crack
but it looked like a manhole to me
so I pulled out my telephone pole
and stuck into her manhole
she let a scream
as I poured on the cream
In the shade of the ole apple tree....

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

"I had a crazy Aussie first-grade teacher and she made us learn it. She was also in love with Neil Diamond and played his records at us when we had free time at the end of class."

They arrest teachers for that now.

 

[Nobody Special]

O.K. Here is what everyone's been waiting for the Lyrics to "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport" Enjoy

E

Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport
Rolf Harris

Words and Music by Rolf Harris

- peak Billboard position # 3 in 1963


SPOKEN: There's an old Australian stockman lying, dying. He gets himself up
onto one elbow and 'e turns to his mates, who are all gathered around and 'e says:


Watch me wallabies feed, mate
Watch me wallabies feed,
They're a dangerous breed, mate
So watch me wallabies feed
Altogether now!

CHORUS:
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down

Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
Keep me cockatoo cool
Ah, don't go acting the fool, Curl
Just keep me cockatoo cool
Altogether now!

(CHORUS)

'n' take me koala back, Jack
Take me koala back
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac
So take me koala back
Altogether now!

(CHORUS)

Let me abos go loose, Lew
Let me abos go loose
They're of no further use, Lew
So let me abos go loose
Altogether now!

(CHORUS)

And mind me platypus duck, Bill
Mind me platypus duck
Ah, don't let 'im go running amok, Bill
Just mind me platypus duck
Altogether now!

(CHORUS)

Play your didgeridoo, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Ah, like, keep playin' 'til I shoot thru, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Altogether now!

(CHORUS)

Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I'm dead
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
And that's it hangin' on the shed!!
Altogether now!

(CHORUS)

 

[Eve_of_destruction]

Maybe someone can answer these very pressing questions: What's a fucking vegemite sandwich??? Didgeridoos and abos - what the hell are we talking about here? And most importantly: Why is our bulletin board being taken over by the people from the land down under??? Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...

Hey, to quote Jimi Hendrix:
Are you experienced? I am. (Not necessarily stoned... just, beautiful.)
So, everybody join in the chorus, now:
Fuck all the BB virgins! Go out and pop their cherries! Put out the call, then post to all these not-so-Virgin Mary's!

Give them a hand, so to speak. And after we're done, we're going after the Aussies...

 

[Lasher]

Tsk..Tsk...Tsk, Eve..You're thinking locally when you should be thinking GLOBALLY.

You should be grateful for this opportunity to insult people that live 7 to 10 time zones away!!! It hasn't been that long since you would've had to have spent months at sea battling scurvy and pirates to insult these people. Be thankful for the oppurtunity.

However, I have had just about all I can take of that damn kangaroo bondage song.

 

[Endlessly]

LMFAO!

 

[Eve_of_destruction]

Damnit, Lasher, now you did it... I SWORE up and down that I would never use those chat room abbreviations, but shit, I am like totally ROTFLMFAO!!! Like, for real, Dude! And tomorrow i gotta get up early and prepare dozens of people's taxes, I should have been in bed hours ago, and now all I can do is hold my stomach it hurts so much from laughing!!!

Laughter is the best medicine... and if we can't laugh at the Aussies, who can we laugh at???

 

[Lasher]

Eve, any tips on dealing with the marriage penalty??

Being married and having No children, it seems I get fucked more by the IRS than by my wife.

Any help we'll be appreciated!! LOL

 

[Hullo_nurse]

Lasher!! You and me, both. FUCK the IRS!! Come on, now, everybody, say it with me....

FUCK THE IRS!!!!! YOU GO TO HELL, YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!!!!! FUCK THE IRS!!! FUCK THE IRS!!!

Ok, I feel better now. But that marriage penealty really bites. I say lets go for a flat tax. Fuck the guys that make millions, they should pay just as much in taxes as us little people, if not MORE...

If I ran for president.....

oh, wrong site, sorry

[This message has been edited by hullo_nurse (edited 02-14-2000).]

 

[Eve_of_destruction]

Oh, hello nurse, please don't say those things! You will invoke the infernal IRS demons, the incubus and succubus of audit hell! Stop before it's too late!!!

Actually, since our firm's main client is lower income single parents and families with at least 2 kids, earning perhaps $10,000 and having around $500 withheld, and are getting back an average of $3000 through the earned income credit, I usually have pretty happy customers. Except sometimes I get those customers who make $60,000 plus, having around $10,000 withheld, and they still have to pay in - it's all good unless they were in the cubicle next to the aforementioned customers. Then they act like hello nurse... and who can blame them?

I am not proud of what i do for a living...

sorry!

But what i'd like to do is illegal here in the States.

Peace,
Eve

 

[Xander]

Arh..E_O_D.
If you had a look at my tax papers and saw what kind of money I have to throw at the danish version of the IRS. You would cry and be very thankful you live where you live.
Let's see. Hmmm I pay a standard 44% tax of my A-income, and a mindblowing 62% of my B-income. This is not including ground taxes and road taxes. Not to mention the 25% there is put on any purchase you might wanna do.
Then there are the enviromental duty to be paid for my car, and the same of the gas I feed it. (price is currently a little over a buck per liter)

Having said all that I think I'm gonna close the door and go cry in the corner.

 

[Slut_boy]

LOL @ Nurse . Hey Slut sis, I also use those darn abbreviations.