im a sub male. and i am too often made to be the dom

[madmanmike]

i hate it. sometimes i just want to be told what to do in bed and let my girl take over. it kinda sucks. oh well. share your frustrations with me.

 

[AAkasha]

i hate it. sometimes i just want to be told what to do in bed and let my girl take over. it kinda sucks. oh well. share your frustrations with me.

What have you done so far to try to get her interested in the idea? How did you bring it up, and why did she reject it?

Also, how long have you been together?


Akasha

 

[madmanmike]

What have you done so far to try to get her interested in the idea? How did you bring it up, and why did she reject it?

my current gf i have been with for 6 months. ive gotten her to enjoy being on top. but as far as being in control and any light bondage she wont be ready for a while. she is relatively unexperienced. i was the 2nd person who had sex with her and the first to eat her and im the 1st she ever gave oral sex to.

 

[Etoile]

I recommend taking a good read through a lot of library threads. There's a lot to know about BDSM before jumping in with both feet. And there's threads in there about getting vanilla partners interested, too.

I'd be surprised if your girlfriend were intentionally making you the dom - it sounds like she expects males to be the aggressive partner and females to be passive. A lot of people feel this way, and it can be hard to turn that dynamic around in one's head.

 

[onceburned]

. it kinda sucks. oh well. share your frustrations with me.

Yep, I have there and it sucks alright. Most women are still raised to be caregivers...which involves sacrifice and serving. So most vanilla women are probably predisposed to be subbish rather than dommish.

My ex-wife tried but just couldn't settle into the dominant spirit. She much preferred me to dominate, which was highly unsatisfying for me. But hey, its a way of serving her right? <grin>