I'm a fucking idiot- kinda starting to get depressed about it

[December]

I don't mind winter, but I'm so much better adapted to the heat.

I like the smell of the weather as it changes. Cold weather smells better than hot, I think. Maybe it's because I'm more familier with hot. I like how the rains smell is different in different locations, or how it changes by the season.

Cooler weather does smell better. Autumn smells the best, I think. Also one of my favourite sounds happens during the snowy months. The sound of feet crunching through snow. Love that crunch sound. I don't really know why, it just sounds so crisp and fresh and perfect.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Why? Is this where the stalking starts in earnest? I list my real docket and in a week they show up at my door ready to abduct me to their rape van?

rape van? are you still high??

 

[John Doe]

Holy fuck you people are stupid for buying into this. Even after the no-way-it-really-happened court appearance you're still buying it. What the fuck is wrong with people that they're this naive?

Maybe it's the big lie theory. Make up something so crazy that otherwise intelligent people will believe it because how could anyone dare say such crazy things or come up with them in the first place? It must be true!

 

[Spacefender]

Awesome thread. If the intent was to stir shit- Mission Accomplished. Who cares if candicame's story is true or not? The real payoff was seeing the VBM/December/KRC shitfest.

Although, I suppose playing the GB isn't really all that difficult.

 

[KRCummings]

Awesome thread. If the intent was to stir shit- Mission Accomplished. Who cares if candicame's story is true or not? The real payoff was seeing the VBM/December/KRC shitfest.

Although, I suppose playing the GB isn't really all that difficult.

I would have been more on my game with December but I had shit to do. Maybe next time. She's usually good for kicking around now and then.

 

[ivantheterrible]

the only reason you go to jail for a DUI misdemeanor charge is the 24 hour thing for the first charge. after that it goes up, but it is still a misdemeanor. its not like you get locked up in a federal pen. most jails now are regional. and due to liability purposes they keep the felons seperate from the misdemeanors. and regional jails are damn close to maximum security. cameras, guards constantly watching, although you can get hurt. but that takes you being a jerk to someone.
ass raped? only if you volunteer.
the horror stories of jail are mainly from state and federal pens. regional jails are pretty damn tame in comparison.

 

[Shagly]

*Pitty bump*.

 

[bg23]

i don't have any opinion or care whether or not the OP is what he claims he is - though i have to wonder, why wouldn't he? it's not like he's gaining anything by lying about his shit life except perhaps the satisfaction of entertaining an audience with some mildly interesting fiction.

however, 2 things:

1. i think it's reasonable to assume that, if someone says, "you're lying" to someone else, that that is their opinion that they're stating. saying, "in my opinion, you're lying" seems kinda pointless, of course it's your opinion only that they're lying, nobody's going to be able to prove shit.

2. you can't "defame" an internet username. and as nice as the concept is, "innocent until proven guilty" applies to courts of law. in the court of public opinion, unfortunately the principle isn't going to be particularly upheld.

having said that, if your shit is real candicame i hope you get it together and things get better, cos you seem nice enough. be nice to your bf, he's been pretty good to you.

 

[Lord_of_Farts]

Yeah you are an idiot dude. Even bigger are the idiots who believe this fairy tale. A roach clip does not constitute a DUI. You made no mention of a blood or urine test. Then you claim that on a misdemeanor charge they fast tracked you through a hearing without the consultation of an attorney and the judge not explaining you your rights to make sure you understood on the very next day. While your fairytale maybe entertaining it is still a fabricated story. Oh yeah, in Kentucky if you get arrested for DUI they allow you 15 minutes to talk to an attorney before any such blood or urine tests. If they do not your case is dismissed. The state of Kentucky treats DUI like its a fucking capital crime and you get 2 days minimum mandatory jail even if you are accepted in their Accelerated Rehabilitation Program.

The next day may have been a hearing to accept your plea for a bail hearing but certainly not what you claim. Dumbass.

 

[Sean]

Get a out of State address to use, apply for a learners permit and check off no to the little box where it says do you currently have a drivers license.

Which is a federal crime.

 

[Wobnoid]

Well, there is always the possibility that this twit was just snagged in a regular police patrol. Shitting his twitty pants, he assumed it was a DUI stop, they found a roach, and just hauled him in on that. Honestly, a lot less paperwork involved. Probably an Old Boy kinda country-thing. A hillbilly Scared Straight overnight in the clink. A moving violation perhaps - with a slap-wrist Night/Early Morning Court rehab "sentence" the only real outcome. Whatever!

Even the bloodletting in this thread seems kind of pro-forma. A google here, a libel there... the plugging of ears and soliloquies. Damn, kid! Most idiots don't even get the C treatment! Good writing!

 

[Shagly]

Which is a federal crime.

Show me the U.S. legal code, it's highly doughtful.

 

[Sean]

Show me the U.S. legal code, it's highly doughtful.

As well as being a racist paedophile, you're a moron inciting someone to commit a federal offence:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/1028.html

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

As well as being a racist paedophile, you're a moron inciting someone to commit a federal offence:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/1028.html

Most states are reciprocal. So if you are suspended in one state you are suspended in every state.

The license is not suspended it is his driving privilege. This wording is key. Meaning even if he would get a Florida license his privilege to drive in Kentucky are suspended. He would be still be charged with Driving while Suspended.

If he were driving with a license gained from a reciprocal state the license would be seized and mailed to the other state. The other state can file charges but I never heard of it being done. Never heard of a federal fraud charge being used either as the crime is small potatoes.

I know these things because I have had retards in my command get in trouble and I accompanied them to enough hearings. It is kind of ironic when you have a guy who can fly supersonic over your airspace but not allowed to drive on your roads. LOL

They should have a charge called, "Driving while being an Asshole". This would be a good catchall charge for many dipshits we all see everyday driving.

 

[Sean]

Most states are reciprocal. So if you are suspended in one state you are suspended in every state.

The license is not suspended it is his driving privilege. This wording is key. Meaning even if he would get a Florida license his privilege to drive in Kentucky are suspended. He would be still be charged with Driving while Suspended.

If he were driving with a license gained from a reciprocal state the license would be seized and mailed to the other state. The other state can file charges but I never heard of it being done. Never heard of a federal fraud charge being used either as the crime is small potatoes.

I know these things because I have had retards in my command get in trouble and I accompanied them to enough hearings. It is kind of ironic when you have a guy who can fly supersonic over your airspace but not allowed to drive on your roads. LOL

They should have a charge called, "Driving while being an Asshole". This would be a good catchall charge for many dipshits we all see everyday driving.

The thing is, he'd be committing fraud to obtain a driving license. 15 years in federal prison.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

The thing is, he'd be committing fraud to obtain a driving license. 15 years in federal prison.

Federal charges are for Federal Officers to file charges as they are not authorized to enforce state statutes. In the case of some twit like the OP driving on a fraudulently gained license it would be left up to the states. Now if he was involved in other crimes like racketeering, drug trafficking, AFT violations. terrorist activities than it would be a tool used by the feds. In recent years the Feds have deferred many crimes to the states as not to step on their sovereignty regarding prosecution. This is also a good law to use for those involved in providing the fraudulent ID on a grand scale such as false ID to illegal immigrants that was busted about 12 years ago in Illinois I believe. If I recall the case from the papers some local Pa. cop running a speed trap cited 3 Mexicans in 3 diff cars on the same day all with the same Illinois post office box which was eventually turned over to the DEA as drug running was involved.

 

[Shagly]

As well as being a racist paedophile, you're a moron inciting someone to commit a federal offence:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/1028.html

Hey goofie!

That only applies to a commercial drivers license.

 

[Shagly]

Federal charges are for Federal Officers to file charges as they are not authorized to enforce state statutes. In the case of some twit like the OP driving on a fraudulently gained license it would be left up to the states. Now if he was involved in other crimes like racketeering, drug trafficking, AFT violations. terrorist activities than it would be a tool used by the feds. In recent years the Feds have deferred many crimes to the states as not to step on their sovereignty regarding prosecution. This is also a good law to use for those involved in providing the fraudulent ID on a grand scale such as false ID to illegal immigrants that was busted about 12 years ago in Illinois I believe. If I recall the case from the papers some local Pa. cop running a speed trap cited 3 Mexicans in 3 diff cars on the same day all with the same Illinois post office box which was eventually turned over to the DEA as drug running was involved.

Exactly, the States have to have reciprocation with other States or Provinces.

 

[Image]

Accelerated Rehabilitation Program.

Really? Does anyone else understand how absurd this phrase is?

 

[Olog_hai]

It's all about the cash. A stop of this nature will cost upwards of 3-5k in court, legal, and detox fees. Split several ways it take a bunch of stops to feed the kitty.

 

[tactful]

So- I got ARRESTED last night.

I was driving back from my man's house-poorly- like I do, so I got pulled over for "almost causing a wreck". Now, because I drive so poorly, I have 6 points on my license, which means that it doesn't work as a license, just an ID. I also can't afford insurance, because it's so high (like $300 a month)- I hit things and I drive a nice car.

So that sucked.

I also have been trying to do this whole 'detox' thing. I've cut every drug out of my system with the exception of weed. I don't even smoke ciggies anymore- I've been really proud of myself. And I don't smoke that much weed- because I lost my job and can't afford to. I'm a druggie not an idiot. I know I have to keep my bills paid and find another job before I can think about buying more drugs. So I had no idea that there would be ANYTHING drug related in my car. But the cop found a roach in my ash tray.

That's a DUI.

I didn't know it was there. If I did, I would have smoked it. I should've checked better. 20 years of criminal activity and I get arrested for DUI when I'm NOT EVEN HIGH. I fucked that shit up. I got to go sit in a cell; had to call my boyfriend from a phone there (my cell had no reception, they apparently had it blocked) who was pissed-really, really pissed- madder then I've ever seen him- because the phone apparently tells that you're calling from the jail. So he answers, already pissed.

"Why are you calling from jail?"
"So... feel honored, you're my one phone call."
"What the FUCK did you do?"

So he had to pay my bail, because I have no money- and I have no idea how much it was. I have to be in court at 1:00 today- so he's lending me a suit to wear to look less like a druggie and more like a respectable member of society. I'm fucking scared. I know that my record's completely clean (I don't get caught, ever- I'm really dissapointed in myself) and first offenses for possession don't usually mean much- but I've never been arrested before. I totally can't go to jail. I've read way to many stories of what happens to little guys like me in there...

OMG, there was this guy in the holding place last night who was also in there for possession, but he was fucking wired- coke or something, and would not leave me alone. It was weird. He kept talking about the government keeping him down and all this crazy shit, about how the drug war was some kind of conspiracy or something, getting in my face, taking up my comfort zone- and there was nothing I could do about it. I was pretty sure that he was going to pull something- but I got out before he did.

Thought that maybe I could brighten someone else's day with this shaudenfreudan bullshit. Even if you had a bad night, at least you weren't me.

My boyfriend (who is strait edge and kept telling me this was going to happen) is so pissed that he can't look me in the eye. I've seriously never seen him this mad before. And the weird thing is, I don't think it's all at me. He went through my paperwork last night and got all pissed because it doesn't say anywhere exactly what I've been charged with. He got pissed because they didn't give me my Miranda rights. He got pissed because I'm an idiot, and I think that the upkeep on dating an idiot it beginning to wear him down.

I can't keep fucking up like this... I've got to do something...

It's just a guess, but your man lives in Mayberry and got bust by Deputy Barney Fife, and Sheriff Andrew Taylor was the acting town Official.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

It's just a guess, but your man lives in Mayberry and got bust by Deputy Barney Fife, and Sheriff Andrew Taylor was the acting town Official.

aw contrayer.. I live in Mayberry. We wait 2 weeks for the court date in case the judge has corn to harvest.

 

[Shagly]

aw contrayer.. I live in Mayberry. We wait 2 weeks for the court date in case the judge has corn to harvest.

LOL....

 

[CandiCame]

So here's something else kinda fucked up about the situation. I never plead at all- on principle for my own stubborn dumbassery. I stood at the podium, the judge looked down at my docket or whatever those papers are called, and then said something like, "Because this is a realitivly minor offense and your first offense, you can do diversion- community service, after which it will be removed from your record. Do you want to do that?"

Me: Yes, sir.

So we went up there and they told me that it would be $200+ to "join the program". If he had just fined me, like the people in front of me- it would've been about the same price. Apparently, that's how they get ya.

Also, my boyfriend... embarrassed me. HE embarrassed ME. That's never happened before. I'm the embarrassing person to be in public with. But when he stood to walk me out of the courtroom, he stared down the judge like an alpha male dog or some shit- exuding hatred. He never said anything, but he was way to... disproportionately mad. He just stood and stared him down until I got uncomfortable- then as soon as we hit the hallway he started bitching; at me for being stupid, but mostly at the court. I have no idea why he's so pissed about this. I broke the law. This is my fault. There was no reason to get pissed at the judge- and it embarrassed the hell out of me.

WTF?

When I asked him about it, he seemed proud that the judge had broken eye contact first. He also seemed HAPPY when I pointed out that the whole courtroom had stared at him. Law people aren't people to piss off...

 

[Shagly]

So here's something else kinda fucked up about the situation. I never plead at all- on principle for my own stubborn dumbassery. I stood at the podium, the judge looked down at my docket or whatever those papers are called, and then said something like, "Because this is a realitivly minor offense and your first offense, you can do diversion- community service, after which it will be removed from your record. Do you want to do that?"

Me: Yes, sir.

So we went up there and they told me that it would be $200+ to "join the program". If he had just fined me, like the people in front of me- it would've been about the same price. Apparently, that's how they get ya.

Also, my boyfriend... embarrassed me. HE embarrassed ME. That's never happened before. I'm the embarrassing person to be in public with. But when he stood to walk me out of the courtroom, he stared down the judge like an alpha male dog or some shit- exuding hatred. He never said anything, but he was way to... disproportionately mad. He just stood and stared him down until I got uncomfortable- then as soon as we hit the hallway he started bitching; at me for being stupid, but mostly at the court. I have no idea why he's so pissed about this. I broke the law. This is my fault. There was no reason to get pissed at the judge- and it embarrassed the hell out of me.

WTF?

When I asked him about it, he seemed proud that the judge had broken eye contact first. He also seemed HAPPY when I pointed out that the whole courtroom had stared at him. Law people aren't people to piss off...

I thought only lawyers had that mean stare?