If you're thinking about letting folks in the service industry know about your kink

[KoPilot]

Please don't.

Cliff Pervocracy sums it up pretty nicely:

And, to put on my serious kinkster hat for a moment, it's really icky and immature to try to scandalize customer service staff with your kinkiness. Yes, the clerk at Home Depot gets it, you're going to use rope for sexy sex things, and they're approximately as intrigued and delighted as the staff at Rite Aid were when you held your box of condoms aloft and screamed "THESE ARE FOR MY PENIS!"

In other words, don't be like Christian Grey.

The wait staff at that fancy restaurant aren't getting paid enough to be humiliated in a much more real way than your sub.

 

[CutieMouse]

In addition...

Don't try to have sex in the dressing rooms of lingerie boutiques or the lingerie department of department stores.

It's rude.

 

[graceanne]

In addition...

Don't try to have sex in the dressing rooms of lingerie boutiques or the lingerie department of department stores.

It's rude.

I'm almost positive this comes from real life experience.

 

[HussarVanburen]

In addition...

Don't try to have sex in the dressing rooms of lingerie boutiques or the lingerie department of department stores.

It's rude.

I vehemently disagree. This is just plain hot.

 

[CutieMouse]

I vehemently disagree. This is just plain hot.

So "this is just plain hot" tops common courtesy [and sense]. Gotcha.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I vehemently disagree. This is just plain hot.

I, too, think it is incredibly hot. But it is also very rude and should not be done.


Besides, there are ways of getting a similar thrill without making others uncomfortable. Way back about a year into my now 8 year relationship my Dominant took me boot shopping because I had been fretting about not being able to find a pair of dressy but comfortable boots for over 2 years. We go into a store, I had my collar on (which I don't normally wear out in public) and he picked out a couple of pairs of boots for me. It was interesting to watch the clerks respond to him. He very handsome, older than me and carries himself with great confidence. I barely said a word except to answer him when he asked me questions about fit and comfort. The clerks completely ignored me and chatted with him. Even other costumers chatted with him as I tried on a number of pairs of boots. He picked out 2 pairs for me and we bought them.

Normally being ignored in this way would offend me. But it put me in that floaty sub space quite effectively.

I don't know how the clerks felt about the situation but they didn't seem uncomfortable at all. Other than the collar there was no overt kinkiness. The power exchange was clear, but we never mentioned sex or even that the power exchange existed.

In many ways it was one of my favorite and hottest scenes ever. (especially because of what came next when we were safely in the privacy of a hotel room)

 

[MeekMe]

Please spare us in the service industry!
I know about these things but I don't want to know about yours! At work, that is...
（−＿−；）
Being in the service industry is degrading enough, I don't need to also be apart of your game.

 

[KoPilot]

I vehemently disagree. This is just plain hot.

Then pay them appropriately and negotiate terms beforehand. $100/hr. Too cheap to hire a sex worker? Then you don't get to involve others in your super-speshul Dom antics.

 

[CutieMouse]

Then pay them appropriately and negotiate terms beforehand. $100/hr. Too cheap to hire a sex worker? Then you don't get to involve others in your super-speshul Dom antics.

When I was in the lingerie industry, $100/ hr wouldn't have been worth it. My dressing rooms were my "office", where I did $300-$5,000 in sales/ hr. Do I wander into your office and disrupt your workday because it's hawt?

I get that the idea is titillating. I do. But on the back end of someone's fantasy is another person's reality -

Will this make my paying client's uncomfortable?
Will this turn into a reason to call security?
What am I going to have to clean up, after they're "done"?
What if they come back/ tell people my shop is the new naughty place to fuck?
How does this impact my ability to earn a living, and will I be fired if Corporate finds out?

I was always happy as a clam to respectfully work with couples (in my former position I spent the entire time in the dressing room; very little privacy), and would defer to whomever was the decision maker (much as ES described), but ew. Spend an hour with me, drop a grand or three, THEN go home and have your kinky sexy times, okay?

 

[KoPilot]

When I was in the lingerie industry, $100/ hr wouldn't have been worth it. My dressing rooms were my "office", where I did $300-$5,000 in sales/ hr. Do I wander into your office and disrupt your workday because it's hawt?

I get that the idea is titillating. I do. But on the back end of someone's fantasy is another person's reality -

Will this make my paying client's uncomfortable?
Will this turn into a reason to call security?
What am I going to have to clean up, after they're "done"?
What if they come back/ tell people my shop is the new naughty place to fuck?
How does this impact my ability to earn a living, and will I be fired if Corporate finds out?

I was always happy as a clam to respectfully work with couples (in my former position I spent the entire time in the dressing room; very little privacy), and would defer to whomever was the decision maker (much as ES described), but ew. Spend an hour with me, drop a grand or three, THEN go home and have your kinky sexy times, okay?

Oh, I was assuming Hussar was putting someone's sweaty underwear on the tray at McDonald's. I can't imagine him going into a high-end lingerie store for anybody.

 

[Bramblethorn]

putting someone's sweaty underwear on the tray at McDonald's.

This could be an awesome story/series: The Erotic Adventures of Sir McTackyDom.

 

[Loverskitten]

Oh, I was assuming Hussar was putting someone's sweaty underwear on the tray at McDonald's. I can't imagine him going into a high-end lingerie store for anybody.

HAHAGAHAHAHA!

 

[ChastitySmith]

So "this is just plain hot" tops common courtesy [and sense]. Gotcha.

Could not agree with you more. We have no business involving innocent others in 'our thing' for a cheap thrill. Probably be more than the one member here already who says that the collar and boot thing was OK, and the staff didn't mind. Or was the staff just sucking it all up because their job requires it.

 

[cookiecat]

I generally meet potential kinky partners online. One of the most most most cliche things a "dominant" says is that he'll take me out without a bra or panties to a restaurant where I'll flash the waitperson.

I pretty much check out of the conversation at this point.

Really? This is the best you can come up with? And you're arrogant and selfish on top of it? Yuk.

ecstaticsub- that was a lovely, hot scene you described. Perfect.

KoPilot - the blog post was great!

 

[KoPilot]

Stick around, Cookiecat; Cliff's doing the whole book!

 

[eastern sun]

I, too, think it is incredibly hot. But it is also very rude and should not be done.


Besides, there are ways of getting a similar thrill without making others uncomfortable. Way back about a year into my now 8 year relationship my Dominant took me boot shopping because I had been fretting about not being able to find a pair of dressy but comfortable boots for over 2 years. We go into a store, I had my collar on (which I don't normally wear out in public) and he picked out a couple of pairs of boots for me. It was interesting to watch the clerks respond to him. He very handsome, older than me and carries himself with great confidence. I barely said a word except to answer him when he asked me questions about fit and comfort. The clerks completely ignored me and chatted with him. Even other costumers chatted with him as I tried on a number of pairs of boots. He picked out 2 pairs for me and we bought them.

Normally being ignored in this way would offend me. But it put me in that floaty sub space quite effectively.

I don't know how the clerks felt about the situation but they didn't seem uncomfortable at all. Other than the collar there was no overt kinkiness. The power exchange was clear, but we never mentioned sex or even that the power exchange existed.

In many ways it was one of my favorite and hottest scenes ever. (especially because of what came next when we were safely in the privacy of a hotel room)

Yes. This is how it works.

 

[hotncold0101]

It's funny, maybe sad. I have as much or more about courtesy and respect from the bdsm community than from most anywhere else.

 

[PureAnni]

In addition...

Don't try to have sex in the dressing rooms of lingerie boutiques or the lingerie department of department stores.

It's rude.

A few years ago I worked in a lingerie store and a man and woman came in and they were both quite drunk and were open about saying they were both in relationships with someone else. I let them into a fitting room and helped her try on some clothes... I let them be for a few mins and when I came back they were going at it... I just turned around and waited... there were hand and foot prints all over the mirror... SMH, public sex can be great but someone has to clean up after you...So yes, don't do it.

 

[SubMrs]

I always thought the the fun in going out in public was in concealing the kinks. Slit the pockets in your jacket so you can wear handcuffs under it. Use fingernail polish on the inside of wraparound sunglasses to create an "invisible" blindfold. Wear kinky stuff under vanilla stuff. We can have our fun and nobody else has to share in the experience.

 

[LucyH]

I alway thought the the fun in going out in public was in concealing the kinks. Slit the pockets in your jacket so you can wear handcuffs under it. Use fingernail polish on the inside of wraparound sunglasses to create an "invisible" blindfold. Wear kinky stuff under vanilla stuff. We can have our fun and nobody else has to share in the experience.

I like those ideas.