If you were a book or movie...

[Lil-Brandi]

If your entire life, character, and personality was summed up as a book or movie what would you be and WHY? A comedy, drama, horror, romance, action adventure, etc. The why is important...show those writing skills!!!

I would be a romantic comedy, with a sub plot of mystery and drama. I'm a fun-loving young lady that strives to always have a good time, no matter how bad a situation may be. I am the person that my friends always look for to lift them up when they are down, make their spirits laugh while they are sad. I love candle lit baths, the idea of making love on rose petals, and long walks down a beach at night. However, it takes a while for someone to truly get to know me and I have a tendency to keep a lot of lifes harsher emotions, locked up inside.

Ok...next....c'mon, make it good!!!

 

[TonyG]

I envision an action-adventure romantic comedy. I enjoy the outdoors, mystery and intrigue, quick wit and rescuing/winning the girl. Sort of like 'The Mummy' and I would be the Brendan Frazier character or Harrison Ford in the Indiana Jones movies. But not a 007 type, there is not enough humor.

 

[Guest]

"Multiple Identities and False Memories" by Nicholas P. Spanos.

Why? What's not to like about dual consciousness, multiple personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder, eh?

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

Lost,confused, and Perverted

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

An acerbic comedy written by Joseph L. Mankiewicz with Orson Welles directing and me played by either Spencer Tracy or Groucho Marx and Audrey Hepburn playing the girl and everyone talking at lightning speed.

Either that a Gene Kelley musical with Leslie Caron, Paris, and me dancing up the walls.

 

[CreamyLady]

Possibly a strange mish-mash of In This House of Brede and Moll Flanders.

 

[Xander]

A weird combo I guess.
A mix between "Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels", "Pulp Fiction" and "Seven"

 

[Skibum]

I don't know about being a book or movie, but I was greatly influenced by Starship Troopers. The novel, not the substandard (but still entertaining) movie based loosely on it.

 

[Guest]

A romantic comedy

 

[angie girl]

yank

I would be Neve Campbell's character in Wild Things. End of discussion. Anybody that can yank out their own teeth is all I could ever hope to be. Neve is to being a bitch what Sally Field is to being spunky.

 

[Gaucho]

Now Playing at Your Local Cineplex...

If my life were a movie…

What I would want: A combination of Cary Grant in "Philadelphia Story", Jimmy Stewart in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and Gary Cooper in "High Noon".

What I would get: Stephen King and David E. Kelley.

Fade in on me as I am slowly being crushed beneath the wheel of a car. Inside the car (which is running) are Robert Downey, Jr. and Calista Flockhart. Luckily for me they don't weigh much. He is fucking her in the ass (although how he found her anus is beyond me - she's so thin it must look like a pinhole). They are oblivious to my presence.

I try to yell but there is too much pressure on my chest. Suddenly, Lauren Bacall appears beside me.

BACALL: You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow.

I try to tell her I never learned how to whistle, but it's no use. The weight is too great. I can feel my ribs cracking. Desperately, I put my lips together and blow but all that comes out sounds like an Elmer Fudd fart.

ME: P'ffft. P'ffft.

Inside the car, Robert Downey, Jr. pauses in mid-poke.

DOWNEY, JR: Did you hear something?

FLOCKHART: No, that's just my sphincter.

DOWNEY: Oh. Got any blow?

Bacall reappears, only now she's with Bogie. He looks at me sadly.

BOGIE: You know, I never shoulda switched from whiskey to martinis.

Bacall laughs and links her arm through his.

BACALL: And I thought there was no such thing as an unavailable man.

ME: P'ffft. P'ffft.

Fade out as Bogie and Bacall stroll into the sunset. As darkness falls, we hear a faint "crunch" as the car settles to the ground.

DOWNEY, JR: Did you hear something?

FLOCKHART: No, I told you - that does it! Next time, you get it in the ass.

FIN

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Siren]

Gaucho, that is so fucking funny.....however...

 

[Ian1]

It would be something like...

Keeping the Faith without the religon, Trainspotting without the drugs, and a whole lot of Ewin McGregors character in Eye of the Beholder without the hallucnations.

Oh, and I forgot, True Romance with a bit of divorce.

 

[Slick66]

With a touch of humor

Something Hemingway-esque as directed by Tarantino. Sort of a For whom the Bell Tolls on acid.

 

[Andra_Jenny]

The movie genre of my earlier days would obviously be a low-budget porno flick. Now it is more of a dark comedy interspersed with elements of Chinese Opera. Sort of a Jackie Chan/Al Bundy/Ted Nugent action flick. I would entitle it, "The Geisha Boy and The Pink Panther's Big Adventure."

 

[Bushido71XS]

My story...

If it was a movie, probably something fromthe Film Noir genre, with a little bit of sci-fi thrown in to make it stranger than fiction.

Now if it was a book, or books I'd have to say action-adventure, definitely. Probably something written by Jerry Ahern, or Micheal Stackpole.

 

[Stormy]

What movie best desribes me?

Wild Things.

 

[Whispersecret]

"No, that's my sphincter..."

My lord, that's hilarious.

 

[Lil-Brandi]

LMAO

Oh my....I'm still laughing....awesome answers here!!
And for Gaucho's Big Hit, Big Budget, Lil' Sphincter Film..I give you two thumbs way up!!!!

 

[Gaucho]

Well, they say you should write what you know.

 

[Siren]

Gaucho...Does that mean you know Assholes??

 

[Gaucho]

No, but I have met a few sphincters in my time.

Seriously, though, you couldn't get me near Calista's asshole with a pair of rubber gloves and a proctoscope. Just imagine blowing some air up that pile of bung. Talk about pucker! Oh, wait, wrong thread. Sorry.

Now, your asshole, on the other hand...

Well, all I can say is...

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK