If you knew...

[AtFirstSight]

that somebody's boyfriend was cheating on them, but you did not know them (you just knew the boyfriend), would you say anything? It doesn't feel like my place and yet it is something a person ought to know. Torn.

 

[Tryharder62]

Are you close with the boyfriend?

 

[CleverCowardice]

Unless you have irrefutable evidence, a means to prove the cheating to the other person beyond a shadow of a doubt, then you'd do well to just stay out of it, else you risk coming across as a catty, intrusive bitch meddling in the affairs of others.

 

[AtFirstSight]

Are you close with the boyfriend?

We used to see one another. I told him that he needs to tell the girl, but he is not going to.

 

[Tryharder62]

Boy that is a hard one. I would probably not think it is my place either.

 

[AtFirstSight]

Unless you have irrefutable evidence, a means to prove the cheating to the other person beyond a shadow of a doubt, then you'd do well to just stay out of it, else you risk coming across as a catty, intrusive bitch meddling in the affairs of others.

Well I dont want to come across like that...

It is just hard because if I were being cheated on, I would want to know. So 'letting it go' when it is somebody else seems wrong somehow.

 

[fgarvb1]

I have witnessed this crap before.

Chances are they will both turn on you like a rabid dog and blame YOU for their troubles.

Crazy but true.

 

[AtFirstSight]

I have witnessed this crap before.

Chances are they will both turn on you like a rabid dog and blame YOU for their troubles.

Crazy but true.

Yeah this is not an outcome that I want. I think I'll bite my tongue and just hope that A) she finds out on her own or B) they break up over something else.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

that somebody's boyfriend was cheating on them, but you did not know them (you just knew the boyfriend), would you say anything? It doesn't feel like my place and yet it is something a person ought to know. Torn.

So basically he wants everyone but you?

Just mind your own business.

 

[CleverCowardice]

Well I dont want to come across like that...

It is just hard because if I were being cheated on, I would want to know. So 'letting it go' when it is somebody else seems wrong somehow.

I can appreciate your predicament, but you said that you don't really know this other girl. On top of which, you said you used to go out with this guy. So, what is she likely to think when you tell her that her boyfriend is cheating on her?

It's not like you're her friend, looking out for her best interest. You're his ex, butting into their relationship, for reasons she's bound to question. And, like I said, unless you can prove to her that you aren't making shit up, she might just suspect you're trying to break them up because you're a jealous bitch or you want him back, etc. Even if she does believe you, how will that play out? She confronts him, he denies it (possibly even feeding her a line that you're a crazy/jealous bitch, playing to what she might already suspect anyway), and he ends up pissed off with you. Because you aren't close with her but you do have a history with him, it's fair to say she has little to no reason to believe you and every reason to call your motives into question.

Is it really worth the hassle?

 

[QueenLevitra]

Yeah this is not an outcome that I want. I think I'll bite my tongue and just hope that A) she finds out on her own or B) they break up over something else.

As hard as it is not to tip off the girl, you mustn't change the time/event continuum.

Think about it: Would you want to be responsible for ending life as we know it?

 

[pfflyerhot]

Tough one. My gut reaction is no. None of my bus. But, if I start to think about it at all, my gut reaction sometimes wavers. Like I said, tough one. I'd really think on it... a lot. Thinking is not acting upon...

 

[AtFirstSight]

I can appreciate your predicament, but you said that you don't really know this other girl. On top of which, you said you used to go out with this guy. So, what is she likely to think when you tell her that her boyfriend is cheating on her?

It's not like you're her friend, looking out for her best interest. You're his ex, butting into their relationship, for reasons she's bound to question. And, like I said, unless you can prove to her that you aren't making shit up, she might just suspect you're trying to break them up because you're a jealous bitch or you want him back, etc. Even if she does believe you, how will that play out? She confronts him, he denies it (possibly even feeding her a line that you're a crazy/jealous bitch, playing to what she might already suspect anyway), and he ends up pissed off with you. Because you aren't close with her but you do have a history with him, it's fair to say she has little to no reason to believe you and every reason to call your motives into question.

Is it really worth the hassle?

It probably is not. I do have proof, but like you say, I am sure she would question my motives. I only thought about telling because I've seen him do this to other girlfriends (not me, as we were never serious enough to be able to 'cheat' on one another..just friends who hooked up a few times) and it is unfair of him.

But thank you for the advice.

 

[Sinny]

Good on you for trying to do the right thing, although CC is right - this situation would/could backfire on you. Think it through before you act.

Cheaters suck.

 

[Wings]

I told the husband of the skankwhore my ex-husband was cheating with that she was a, well, a skankwhore. I am glad it was me that told him and not that he found out a different way but it is messy.

He now dates one of my best friends and we all go out together and yet still he and I never speak. He never looks me in the eye and while he never, ever tells my friend to not see me, it's uncomfortable.

In the midst of the explosion of my marriage he came back to me and wanted me to lie to him, to tell him that I was making it up, that I hadn't caught them together. That's not me and I was honest with him, again, glad I was but it doesn't make life any simpler. You would think that you'd be relieved to get it out in the open, you rarely are.

 

[redheadedtxn]

I have witnessed this crap before.

Chances are they will both turn on you like a rabid dog and blame YOU for their troubles.

Crazy but true.

this.

 

[AtFirstSight]

You would think that you'd be relieved to get it out in the open, you rarely are.

It does seem like it would make me feel better. But you're probably right.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

It does seem like it would make me feel better. But you're probably right.

She was saying you would think the person being cheated on would be relieved. It is not about you. Get it?

Again - this is so clearly about you not being the person that this guy wants to be with and are only looking for some justification to stick your nose in these other people's business because you feel scorned. Quit it.

Why do you feel any way about it? It has nothing to do with you (supposedly).

 

[Wings]

She was saying you would think the person being cheated on would be relieved. It is not about you. Get it?

Again - this is so clearly about you not being the person that this guy wants to be with and are only looking for some justification to stick your nose in these other people's business because you feel scorned. Quit it.

Why do you feel any way about it? It has nothing to do with you (supposedly).

No, that's not what I meant. She got my meaning right.

 

[AtFirstSight]

She was saying you would think the person being cheated on would be relieved. It is not about you. Get it?

Again - this is so clearly about you not being the person that this guy wants to be with and are only looking for some justification to stick your nose in these other people's business because you feel scorned. Quit it.

Why do you feel any way about it? It has nothing to do with you (supposedly).

It doesn't have anything to do with me being scorned. It has to do with someone trusting someone else to be faithful, and me knowing that their trust is repeatedly being broken -- and me feeling badly because nobody deserves to be in that situation.