If you are lurking

[MissTaken]

Why are you lurking?

Is it because you are just exploring, reading and thinking?

Is it because you are intimidated by the posters who are posting a lot?

Or, perhaps, because you are watching the board dynamics and trying to figure out where you fit in? I have done that on other boards; lurked for a while to see if there was a place for me or learn who was who and what role they play in the community.

Or, is possibly because you think we are all a bunch of freaks and scare the pants off you? For some, it may be a bit like a traffic accident. You can't go by without looking, even though you know it is just horrible.

If you lurked before posting, please, tell me why?

Please, feel free to post or pm me with your responses. As summer is coming and I have two months off, I should have plenty of time to pay more attention to the forum and work on it a bit.

 

[amsubone]

Well, all of the above, except the freaks part. i'm a little older, just turned 50, and do feel a little odd poking around the web. i've responded to some postings in the past buy am trying to see where i fit in. Mostly, just feel a little uncomfortable and not from anything anyone has done or said.

In addition, i do want the things i say to have merit and i have spoken too quickly in the past and realized if i waited a little, i might, actually, have a better response.

 

[Brekke]

I mostly read the threads and usually only post if I have something to add to it. I would rather wait and have something to say then say "yeah what she said" or "I agree"

I have been learning a lot here and am starting to make a few friends now.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I think it is funny that the thread on lurking has 25 reads(including mine), and only 2 responses(again, including mine)

 

[Caitlynne]

I mostly read the threads and usually only post if I have something to add to it. I would rather wait and have something to say then say "yeah what she said" or "I agree"

I have been learning a lot here and am starting to make a few friends now.

I'd have to agree here. I've been reading this forum for a long time and I seldom post. I have learned a lot, but mostly I have learned that I am not so different from other subs.

And I like to post when I feel I am actually contributing to the discussion. The quality of discussion in most cases, is profound and posting an "I agree" seems hollow.

~ Cait

 

[MissTaken]

Well, all of the above, except the freaks part. i'm a little older, just turned 50, and do feel a little odd poking around the web. i've responded to some postings in the past buy am trying to see where i fit in. Mostly, just feel a little uncomfortable and not from anything anyone has done or said.

In addition, i do want the things i say to have merit and i have spoken too quickly in the past and realized if i waited a little, i might, actually, have a better response.

Ahhh I remember you!

I can understand that train of thought.

For me, I lurked around the "mother thread" for weeks, perhaps months and posted very little.

And feel free to post. If you think you responded too quickly, use the edit button. I am very familiar with that particular feature!

 

[MissTaken]

I mostly read the threads and usually only post if I have something to add to it. I would rather wait and have something to say then say "yeah what she said" or "I agree"

I have been learning a lot here and am starting to make a few friends now.

That's good news.

Everyone once in a while, a big ole "ditto" is nice. It helps the poster to know they are being read and are on the right track.

Also, chances are that even if you agree with a poster, your own thoughts and experiences will have a bit of a twist that perhaps hasn't been brought up yet.

Glad to see you de lurking for moment!

 

[MissTaken]

I think it is funny that the thread on lurking has 25 reads(including mine), and only 2 responses(again, including mine)

Yep....

that is a bit funny, but on the other hand, someone is reading my gobblety gook!



Now, you lurked a bit before posting, if I am assuming correctly. What drew you out? Was it when we shared some pm's or were you on your way to the forum anyway?

It is important to me also, to know if my presence on other forums is helpful in terms of encouraging participation. I don't always make it to the GB and have neglected the How To and Playground for some time, now.

 

[MissTaken]

I'd have to agree here. I've been reading this forum for a long time and I seldom post. I have learned a lot, but mostly I have learned that I am not so different from other subs.

And I like to post when I feel I am actually contributing to the discussion. The quality of discussion in most cases, is profound and posting an "I agree" seems hollow.

~ Cait

Hi there!

Again, I understand.
Feel free to post an "I agree" if you feel strongly about something. Not only, as I said above, does it make the poster feel as though they are heard, but others, like you, may find that they aren't so odd.

Of course, it is our oddities that makes each and everyone of us special....kink or not!

 

[redelicious]

Why are you lurking?

Is it because you are just exploring, reading and thinking?

Is it because you are intimidated by the posters who are posting a lot?

Or, perhaps, because you are watching the board dynamics and trying to figure out where you fit in? I have done that on other boards; lurked for a while to see if there was a place for me or learn who was who and what role they play in the community.

Or, is possibly because you think we are all a bunch of freaks and scare the pants off you? For some, it may be a bit like a traffic accident. You can't go by without looking, even though you know it is just horrible.

If you lurked before posting, please, tell me why?

Please, feel free to post or pm me with your responses. As summer is coming and I have two months off, I should have plenty of time to pay more attention to the forum and work on it a bit.

I lurk more then I post. I like to read and digest the information. Most of the time I don't feel like I have much to add as I don't have the level of experience that others here do. I don't know if I am intimidated, exactly. In any case, the more I read and pocess the less intimidated I am.

A few people are aware that I was involved with someone who posts here. Sometimes I censor myself to avoid possible weirdness.

Yeah, we are all a bunch of freaks in our own ways. No problem with that here.

And BTW, I just want to say that this board has been a wonderful place to lurk of late. It seems like there has been a wealth of great information here the last 2 months or so. I love that this board is so inclusive and there are so many different viewpoints.

 

[Lilith]

I mainly lurk... I moderate at another site that does not have a BDSM forum and so come here to see what everyone is talking about.

I also have been impressed by Miss T's moderation of a forum that could make for challenges. I must admit I absconded with your title as Moderatrix. Please forgive...it was too clever not to!

I have learned a lot from the intelligent and respectful members who share themselves here. Clever minds, open candor, and frank discussions about topics I find near and dear, keep me coming back to check things out!

 

[amsubone]

Ahhh I remember you!

I can understand that train of thought.

For me, I lurked around the "mother thread" for weeks, perhaps months and posted very little.

And feel free to post. If you think you responded too quickly, use the edit button. I am very familiar with that particular feature!

Nice to be remembered. Thanks, that was encouraging and i'll take a look see 'bout that edit button.

 

[MissTaken]

I mainly lurk... I moderate at another site that does not have a BDSM forum and so come here to see what everyone is talking about.

I also have been impressed by Miss T's moderation of a forum that could make for challenges. I must admit I absconded with your title as Moderatrix. Please forgive...it was too clever not to!

I have learned a lot from the intelligent and respectful members who share themselves here. Clever minds, open candor, and frank discussions about topics I find near and dear, keep me coming back to check things out!

Thank you, lilith.
Your kind words mean a lot

As for the title, it is yours. I have many more "trix" up my sleeve!



Now, keep your responses coming everyone.

 

[bones73]

de-cloaking for a minute

I lurk alot and try and read up on what information is being shared then I try to assimulate it into what i have already read and thought about. I am not scared of posting. ..just not sure if my experiences or knowledge of the subject is sound enough to put my 2 cents in. Which would make me not post. I guess I look at the boards as kind of a lecture room and raise my hand when i have a question or have some input to share with the class. Until I find someone to do more experimenting with I am basically being quiet cause i havent had the experience I think to add my little epiphany ( not sure how to spell that word.. sorry). So until that time I will prolly lurk unless someone pulls me out into a discussion that I feel somewhat strongly about or have enough info to make a good discussion of it.

Wow that was alot *smiles* so I will go back to lurk mode unless someone needs my lil input.

Bones

 

[MissTaken]

Okay gang!

I understand feeling a bit intimidated if you dont' have a lot of experience under your belt.

Been there and done that and guess what????

As I have posted before, I first began exploring the lifestyle two years ago. My first real time relationship happened 18 months ago.

So, as for experience, I don't have it either!!!

Now, if you have a serious interest....bring on your questions or observations. We were all new to it all, once.

 

[WillowPuss]

I am much more of a lurker than a poster now.

I think this is because I fell slightly akward posting here - and am never quite sure of the reception I might recieve.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Why are you lurking?

Is it because you are just exploring, reading and thinking?

Is it because you are intimidated by the posters who are posting a lot?

Or, perhaps, because you are watching the board dynamics and trying to figure out where you fit in? I have done that on other boards; lurked for a while to see if there was a place for me or learn who was who and what role they play in the community.

Or, is possibly because you think we are all a bunch of freaks and scare the pants off you? For some, it may be a bit like a traffic accident. You can't go by without looking, even though you know it is just horrible.

If you lurked before posting, please, tell me why?

Please, feel free to post or pm me with your responses. As summer is coming and I have two months off, I should have plenty of time to pay more attention to the forum and work on it a bit.

Hello Miss T

I lurked quite a bit under my old name...i wrote stories and read the boards but never posted. I was busy trying to figure out who was who, and what i could say and where i could say it. By the time i reinvented myself and came aboard as "apet" i had all ready decided just when and where i would post and basically whom i would speak to and why.
For me, lurking is second nature...i am a tad shy and it takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough to add my two cents. Not only that, but before i started posting, i never traded pm's as i did not know whom would welcome the attention and who would not. I never try to bother anyone...but once they open the door a crack..well then i am there!!!!!
Anyway, sweety, those are my reasons for lurking...hope they made sense to you!!!!

 

[MissTaken]

I am much more of a lurker than a poster now.

I think this is because I fell slightly akward posting here - and am never quite sure of the reception I might recieve.

Ya...there are days, I am not so sure, either!



It happens when you have an eclectic bunch of folks with strong personalities talking about some highly emotionally charged and personal stuff.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: If you are lurking

Hello Miss T

*snip*

Anyway, sweety, those are my reasons for lurking...hope they made sense to you!!!!

Yes, they did. Thank you for responding.

Now, I am very familiar with your assaultive behaviour toward pm boxes.

MMmmmm yummy!

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I lurked for a long time before i felt comfortable posting, before i felt comfortable joining in discussions. I still have to take a mental deep breath when i make a post. Jumping in and taking on the Library was a really helpful thing for me, because it made me feel much more a part of this Community, and gave me some "ownership" of this Place.

Still and all, there are sometimes when all i post are my little "welcome wagon" posts. But that's ok. I've become bolder as the months have gone by, and that's because of some other changes going on in my life. I feel stronger and more open about who i am in this lifestyle, and i don't mind so much posting about it. I'm not so .... tentative ....anymore.

I've made some great friends here, and am meeting new and interesting people all the time. I love learning and seeing new viewpoints, even if they don't mesh with my own. I lurk, and de-lurk on this thread and that, and throw my opinion in when i want to. *shrugs* It's a cool place to be.

~anelize

 

[LisaFunOne1]

i dunno if ive ever really lurked.... i DO sometimes go into a thread to see what its about, whats going on, but sometimes i just dont have anything to add or say....

 

[AttentionWhore]

First post here

I, too, am a long time lurker; first time posting on the BDSM board. Usually I'm on the How To board, just lurking and reading and learning. Iif a subject comes up that i feel comfortable posting on, I do reply. Probably alot of that is the... not fear of what you all will think, but fear of what people I interact with daily would think if they knew.
I have alot of friends who are part of various alternative lifestyle groups (gay/bi, swinging, BDSM) so have been on the outskirts of their worlds for about 3 years. I've learned alot about the various things everything entails.
At the present time, I am sticking my toes into the BDSM world because that seems to be the best fit for me. I'm involved with someone who lurks here as well, and is curious about the Dom aspect of things. I was close a few years ago, but this world was being forced on me by the person I was dating, and frankly I was not ready for it. I do have submissive tendancies, no Domme ones, and we are both looking to see where things go from here.
I've learned many many things here from all of you and am looking forward to learning more.

I hope this makes sense to someone else other than just me!

 

[Richard49]

Or, perhaps, because you are watching the board dynamics and trying to figure out where you fit in? I have done that on other boards; lurked for a while to see if there was a place for me or learn who was who and what role they play in the community.

When I first go anywhere
even in real life
the above applies to me

Now days
I post less and less
because of the bulling I find going on
and also the misrepresentation of some posts

 

[Mastersprincess]

I lurked for a long time before I decided to get my feet wet by posting. I started on the general board...poked a bit around the how to and playground....and finally found my way to this forum.

I agree with the people who don't post because they feel they have nothing to add....but so many of the threads are not about facts, but rather feelings and experiences. We all have those to some extent, so whether an experienced "player" or someone new to the lifestyle, everyone has something to add.

The main reason i decided to start posting was when i realized that i wanted to be a part of this community. After reading posts, you get to almost know the people posting. And looking in from the outside isn't nearly as fulfilling as being a part of a group.

 

[dancinvixen]

Why are you lurking?

Is it because you are just exploring, reading and thinking?

Is it because you are intimidated by the posters who are posting a lot?

Or, perhaps, because you are watching the board dynamics and trying to figure out where you fit in? I have done that on other boards; lurked for a while to see if there was a place for me or learn who was who and what role they play in the community.

Or, is possibly because you think we are all a bunch of freaks and scare the pants off you? For some, it may be a bit like a traffic accident. You can't go by without looking, even though you know it is just horrible.

If you lurked before posting, please, tell me why?

Please, feel free to post or pm me with your responses. As summer is coming and I have two months off, I should have plenty of time to pay more attention to the forum and work on it a bit.

Hello Miss Taken,
I am only lurking until I find the subjects that I enjoy posting about. I don't like responding to posts that I really either don't enjoy, or don't understand. <s> But I am here