If life is so good...why does living it hurt??

[Rosebud]

My heart is filled with hurt
My soul is filled with pain
My life seems so empty
All I futurely see is rain

Not the soft drizzle
That tickles as it lands
But the hard angry drops
Tha stingingly commands

Not able to find that shelter
That for I earnestly yearn
Warmth, security and peace
Will it ever be my turn?

The waters are rapidly rising
Swirling all around
I keep looking for that last hope
As I slowly drown


No I am not upset with Havoc...i love him and he is a very wonderful man...I am upset at myself because I dissappointed a friend. A friend that I believe that if she is not in my life...I will drown. I drank tonight and was drunk...I had alot of pressure and took the wrong way out. Two people very close to me are fighting and I was stuck in the middle and being afraid to hurt either one...I was being torn in two. I told my best friend that I was drunk and needed someone to talk to. She got upset and didn't want to talk because I was hurting myself by being drunk. She is not in the wrong for feeling how she does, but damn I needed someone to talk to and because of me being so stupid she backed away. I am sorry that I dissappointed you, I am human you know. Sometimes it is easier to take the easy way out, even if it is wrong. Please forgive me...my heart is torn in two...when you walked away from me, I could actually feel it rip. I am truly sorry.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Shame on your friend for deserting you when you needed her the most.

I still like and respect you Rosebud. You are still a very good person. Everyone makes mistakes sweetie, they really do, and you don't have to be perfect in the least. Things will get better soon, just give it up to your higher power. You can't do everything, you can't be everything, and you can't control everything. It's okay to be human.

Yes, you slipped, but that is okay. You didn't fall. You can use this pain you are feeling now to grow, to learn something valuable, what, I don't know, you probably do. You will be able to pull yourself back up, and you will be able to go on even stronger than before. There is still the same hope you had before.

You are still beautiful and you are still very special.

 

[Rosebud]

no no no I don't want people to attack my friend...i didn't mean for this post to go THAT way. She is a wonderful person and told me that she would get upset if she found out i was drinking. I could have not said a thing about drinking but I wasn't going to lie to her. Please do not attack her. I just needed to express my feelings.

 

[SimplySouthern]

You have no reason to apoligize to me.

I did not mean to "turn you away". I told you several months ago when you admitted to me that you had a problem with drinking that I would not enable that problem, nor would I condone it. Rosie...you know I love you to death and I would do anything in my power to make life right for you. However having said this, I feel like I must also say that I want you to be whole..complete. The Rosie that I know sober, and not the Rosie that pollutes herself with alcohol in an attempt to make everythig OK.

You are one of the best people I know. You have a heart of gold and do more for others than any of us can hope to repay. When I have needed you, you have been there without hesitation and without question.

In my own way, I am trying to be there for you in the way that I think is most beneficial to you. I refuse to be a shoulder to cry on because you are drunk and feeling sorry for yourself. If you come to me sober with a problem, I would give you everything I had to try and solve it. The bottom line, Rosie, is that I love you and care for you very much and hate to see you the way you were earlier. You have done so well, and I WON'T let you slip back to where you were. You are a stronger person than that.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I'm not attacking her, she is your friend and someone you love very deeply. I'm sure she feels just as bad as you do right now, and probably misses you as well. Her concern is not only admirable, but heartwarming. It's awful when friends hurt like this. It makes me sad that you seem to have to go through so much pain, as if life wasn't difficult enough as it is.

 

[Ezzy]

Not reformed...

just not drinking anymore, Rosebud I wished I'd had as strong a friend when I was there.

SimplySouthern keep the attitude it will help more in the long term.

If the bad times did not hurt,I'd have nothing to judge the good times against.

Adding you both to my thoughts.

EZ http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[Roll-One]

This thread was very heart warming..
Rosebud, you have all my respect for what you wrote... HUGSSSSSSSSSS

You do have a true fiend in Simplysouthern....
Hats off to you Simplysouthern

 

[SimplySouthern]

You do have a true fiend in Simplysouthern....
Hats off to you Simplysouthern

Was I just called a fiend?

And here I thought I was hiding it so well.

Would that be porn fiend, sex fiend or another more sadistic type of fiend?

 

[Rosebud]

*waving hand wildly in the air* I'll take the sex fiend please

 

[Roll-One]

UH OH.. omg...i'm so sorry....

Its the key board.. i swear

 

[Earthmuffin]

My mom, (an alcoholic) once said "There is pain in this life to remind you you're alive and what it's like to feel good." She then promptly threw up everywhere. It was one of "those" weekends. Rosebud, hang in there hon!! SimplySouthern, you're really a wonderful person for caring so much about Rosebud. Hugs for both y'all.

 

[forgetunome]

Life is rough....

Just think of yourself as a diamond in the rough...you don't get the diamond without the pressure and friction but, when all is said and done and the final polish is put on and you hold the diamond (in this case you) up to the light just think of all of the sparkles you will set off! Keep your chin up and just keep thinking "I'm a diamond in the making!"

 

[Latina]

Rosebud:

I grew up with an alcoholic father. When I moved out at 21, I hardly had ANY contact with him.

About the time I adopted my son 13 years ago, my dad retired from a long career in a fruit cannery. He had a lot of free time on his hands for introspection, and decided he did not like being a drunk. He wanted to get to know his grandson, especially since he was already missing out on knowing his first grandson (my oldest sister's son, who is five years older than mine) because he didn't get along with my sister, either. He knew that our damaged relationship would not allow him to get to know his SECOND grandson, either. That's when he quit, and he hasn't had a drink since. He apologized to me and my four sisters and brother for the hell he put us through as kids, it took a few years to patch-up our relationship, but now we all have a GREAT relationship with him. He is 90 and still very healthy, even plays volleyball with his grandkids (he now has 10 grandchildren, ranging in age from 3 to 18).

The point is, it isn't easy, but with time and effort, the hurt that alochol does to you and your friends and family CAN be repaired. From this thread, it looks like you and your friend have already taken the first few baby steps on the long road toward fixing it. You are lucky to have a friend who cares so much about you. My best wishes go with you, as one who has experienced what alcohol can do to relationships.

-- Latina

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Rosie and SS, I care about you both a lot and yes do believe that the southern lass did the right thing for the right reason.

I was hoping that you were doing well too but it seems that we all make mistakes on our path to being the best we can be.

A damsel in distress
A person in need
Turn to Rosie
She's a friend indeed


Da chef

PS Hope things are better today babe

 

[insideShiraz]

Rosebud...

Wagons will always be wagons, but you have that Killer Sled...Where's the Snow?...I've got the Fondue and...

Hey! Just wut the Fuck thread did I end up here in, anyway?

 

[Rosebud]

to ride my sled....you don't need any snow...but the fondue might be fun...

and yes Chefie I feel alot better, thanks for the sweet poem

 

[SimplySouthern]

Thanks to all who backed me on what I said to Rosie. I honestly want to do what I think is best for her even if it hurts at the time.

For those of you who aren't closely acquainted with her, it is surely your loss. She is a beautiful person both inside and out and she makes me want to be a better person just knowing her.

For those of you who think I really am a fiend...well, you are right as rain.

Chef..love ya babe. Thanks for the kind words!

 

[Siren]

Rosebush.....

 

[Laurel]

Rosebud, *smooches on your cute lil head*

 

[Merelan]

Waaaaaaa.... I want to post a pretty picture and have npo clue how. Rose always cheers everyone up with her lovely thoughts.
So...
you are stuck with this:

How do you catch a Unique Rabbit ?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a Tame Rabbit ?
Tame way....Unique up on it.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the Psycho path.

How do you get Holy Water ?
You boil the hell out of it.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall ?
Dam !

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long ?
Polaroids.

What do you call a Boomerang that doesn't work ?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours ?
Nacho cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers ?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four Bullfighters in Quicksand ?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow ?
Spoiled milk.

What do you call a cow who has just given birth?
Decaffeineated.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire ?
Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches ?
A nervous wreck.

What's the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup ?
Anyone can roast beef.

Where do you find a dog with no legs ?
Right where you left him.

Why do gorillas have big nostrills ?
Because they have big fingers.

Why don"t blind people like to sky dive ?
Because it scares the dog.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic ?
Sanka.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The location of the dirt bag.

I know, they are old ones, but did it get a smile? Even a little one?

 

[Rosebud]

ROFLMFAO Merelan that did make laugh...thanks

Thanks everyone...did everyone see...i got a kiss from Laurel...neener neener neener
thanks Siren...love ya too
now where did that goodlooking sexy fiend go??

 

[forgetunome]

Oops. I am not talented I tried to put an image of a couple of roses. I thought I followed the instructions on the vB code instructions but I guess I left something out so here's the only rose I know how to send!
------%-@
------%-@

[Edited by forgetunome on 10-15-2000 at 11:14 AM]

 

[SimplySouthern]

Did someone request a fiend?

Here I am baby. Come and take me. Here I am baby. Come and take me...take me by the hand. Oh wait, i was having an old UB40 moment. Sorry...I digress.

 

[Siren]

wooo hooooooo digress you say???

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Re: wooo hooooooo digress you say???

Well short tight dresses are always the best SS

I think you look great in digress, er, um di dress,
ah oh...I mean the dress.

SIREN
_____________________________________________________
~~~A FIEND IS FINE FOR A FRIEND.~~~

I'll take that and raise her I mean it I mean um nevermind


And merelan yes there was smiles on this side of the globe

Da chef