If I ran the world.

[Problem Child]

Christmas sucks. Thanksgiving is a bore.

Ban all of them, except the Fourth of July and Halloween. Give everyone two days a month off to make up for it.

Only fun holidays will be allowed in the Problem Child regime. And no gifts allowed, only alcohol and the occasional bud.

Income tax will be banned, and porno stations will be free on tv.

Drugs will be legal. Congress will be outlawed.

Jerry springer will be executed, publicly, by guillotine.

Bill Clinton will be forced to marry and live with Monica Lewinsky.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger will become a major porn star, specializing in bukkake facial gang-bangs.

Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond will be euthanized by lethal injection.

PETA will be forced to eat meat, exclusively, and wear only fur.

Tom Dachle will have his vocal chords surgically removed.

All personal vehicles will get at least 50 MPG.

Microsoft will be shut down and all it's employees re-assigned to work the fry stations at Mcdonald's. Bill Gates will manage the franchise in fontana Ca.

All of Gate's money will be used to improve the U.S. educational system, right after we abolish the NEA.

Al Gore will take over for Madame Cleo on the Psychic hotline.

N'sinc will become male fluffers for Ron Jeremy.

Britney Spears will drive a septic tank service truck, and have her breast implants removed by having them sucked out through her nipples.

Don Rumsfeld will be my Vice-President, and will have free reign to bomb whomever pisses him off.

Azwed will be defense secretary.

Rubyfruit will be in charge of Oval office affairs.

Two large domes will be built in Israel. The Israelis will live in one, and the Palestinians in the other. Nitrous oxide will be pumped into the domes 24 hrs a day.

ppman will be arrested for trying to assassinate ex-president Bush, and serve hard time in Leavenworth for the rest of his days. He will not have internet access.

 

[Siren]

Ah PC quite an impressive list

 

[pabloback]

. only alcohol and the occasional bud.

glad you agree that bud is not classed as alcohol

 

[Azwed]

Cool I made a list.


Damn I love PC's rants.

 

[p_p_man]

ppman will be arrested for trying to assassinate ex-president Bush, and serve hard time in Leavenworth for the rest of his days. He will not have internet access.

At least you said "ex-president Bush".

You're heading in the right direction.

That's what counts...

 

[Problem Child]

Every day is an official fuck holiday. Office sex is encouraged.

 

[seXieleXie]

can i be an intern?

 

[Siren]

All Hail King PC

 

[Azwed]

can i be an intern?

Hold on let me look at your application. *stares at breasts/clevage*

Yup you qualify go visit PC for your orientation.

 

[Moridin187]

Re: Re: If I ran the world.

glad you agree that bud is not classed as alcohol

*coughs*

Methinks he was talking about cannabis sativa, not Budweiser, which should not be considered alcohol either...

I'll vote for you as World Ruler PC, but only on the condition that you let me torture the Backstreet Boys and bomb the shit out of AOL headquarters.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Can I be the first lady?

Instead of formal dinners, I promise to hold orgies.

Clothing will be optional in the White House.

There would never be another Monica, because I would be stationed under your desk, ready to suck your cock at a moment's notice.

World peace wouldn't be a dream, because we'd provide all of the visiting dignitaries with pleasures from your personal harem.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

Re: Re: Re: If I ran the world.

*coughs*

Methinks he was talking about cannabis sativa, not Budweiser, which should not be considered alcohol either...

I'll vote for you as World Ruler PC, but only on the condition that you let me torture the Backstreet Boys and bomb the shit out of AOL headquarters.

PC, you have my vote. Can I get the slow painful death rights to N'sync?

 

[p_p_man]

Re: Re: Re: If I ran the world.

I'll vote for you as World Ruler PC, but only on the condition that you let me.......bomb the shit out of AOL headquarters.

and MicroSoft...

 

[Problem Child]

All wishes will be granted. Filling Ruby's mouth with my Presidential jizz on a twice-daily basis keeps me happy and makes me want to grant wishes.

Bombing malcontent snivelling nations is a satisfying feeling. I am Presidentially content.

ppman is the only one that gets no wishes granted, because he is now a felon, incarcerated for life. He shouldn't even be on this thread.

 

[Rubyfruit]

All wishes will be granted. Filling Ruby's mouth with my Presidential jizz on a twice-daily basis keeps me happy and makes me want to grant wishes.

Wondering if Presidential jizz tastes any different than regular-guy jizz.

I think I need to do an on-site inspection, PC. Are you free tomorrow?

 

[p_p_man]

ppman is the only one that gets no wishes granted, because he is now a felon, incarcerated for life. He shouldn't even be on this thread.

Tough titty!

I escaped with the help of Owen and the old gang...

 

[Problem Child]

Wondering if Presidential jizz tastes any different than regular-guy jizz.

I think I need to do an on-site inspection, PC. Are you free tomorrow?

I drink a lot of Presidential pineapple juice and gave up red meat so the PETA fucks will have more to eat.

 

[Laurel]

Proposals, submitted respectively to His Anus, er, Highness

- People who refer to themselves in the third person should lose the right to speak. Ever.

- All givers of advice - Dr. Laura, Dear Abby, etc. - shall be forced to live by the advice they give.

 

[Moridin187]

All wishes will be granted.

Okay, list of places/things I want to bomb the shit out of/burn to the ground and salt the earth so nothing will ever grow there again.

AOL Headquarters
Travelocity HQ
MicroSuck HQ
IRS HQ
Any and all Pop music labels HQ


Oh, and legalize justifiable homicide, will you? There are a few people I need to take crowbars, chainsaws, welding torches, and sporks to...

 

[Problem Child]

Okay, list of places/things I want to bomb the shit out of/burn to the ground and salt the earth so nothing will ever grow there again.

AOL Headquarters
Travelocity HQ
MicroSuck HQ
IRS HQ
Any and all Pop music labels HQ


Oh, and legalize justifiable homicide, will you? There are a few people I need to take crowbars, chainsaws, welding torches, and sporks to...

All granted.

 

[Problem Child]

Re: Proposals, submitted respectively to His Anus, er, Highness

- People who refer to themselves in the third person should lose the right to speak. Ever.

- All givers of advice - Dr. Laura, Dear Abby, etc. - shall be forced to live by the advice they give.

check.
check.

Make it so.

 

[Mensa]

Christmas sucks. Thanksgiving is a bore.

Ban all of them, except the Fourth of July and Halloween. Give everyone two days a month off to make up for it.

Only fun holidays will be allowed in the Problem Child regime. And no gifts allowed, only alcohol and the occasional bud.

Income tax will be banned, and porno stations will be free on tv.

Drugs will be legal. Congress will be outlawed.

Jerry springer will be executed, publicly, by guillotine.

Bill Clinton will be forced to marry and live with Monica Lewinsky.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger will become a major porn star, specializing in bukkake facial gang-bangs.

Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond will be euthanized by lethal injection.

PETA will be forced to eat meat, exclusively, and wear only fur.

Tom Dachle will have his vocal chords surgically removed.

All personal vehicles will get at least 50 MPG.

Microsoft will be shut down and all it's employees re-assigned to work the fry stations at Mcdonald's. Bill Gates will manage the franchise in fontana Ca.

All of Gate's money will be used to improve the U.S. educational system, right after we abolish the NEA.

Al Gore will take over for Madame Cleo on the Psychic hotline.

N'sinc will become male fluffers for Ron Jeremy.

Britney Spears will drive a septic tank service truck, and have her breast implants removed by having them sucked out through her nipples.

Don Rumsfeld will be my Vice-President, and will have free reign to bomb whomever pisses him off.

Azwed will be defense secretary.

Rubyfruit will be in charge of Oval office affairs.

Two large domes will be built in Israel. The Israelis will live in one, and the Palestinians in the other. Nitrous oxide will be pumped into the domes 24 hrs a day.

ppman will be arrested for trying to assassinate ex-president Bush, and serve hard time in Leavenworth for the rest of his days. He will not have internet access.

And to think He was content with a mere ten commandments.

 

[Moridin187]

All granted.

Woohoo! You da man!!

 

[Laurel]

Not only woud Christmas music be banned, but pop bands who cover Christmas standards will be publicly flogged.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

I want to be the foreign affairs liaison, with offices in New Zealand, Australia, France, Italy, Spain, and any other country where the ladies have those too sexy accents!!!!