If god makes her happy, what do I do?

[RazorSplitClit]

Recently an ex girlfriend, and one of my best friends, had a near death experience. She had just been kicked out of Valley Hope for smoking ice and crack (the 11th treatment center that has given up on her) and on her way home (while smoking crack) she had a seizure and blacked out. Luckily, she's okay, but while having the seizure she told me she prayed to god to protect her, and she thinks he did.

Now she thinks she needs god to fix her life, and has been going to church. Apparently, some church members have been telling her that only god can take her drug addiction away, and she has stopped trying to get professional help. She's under the impression she can not be bisexual anymore and has stopped associating with a lot of our non-straight friends. I can't help but think in the long run, finding "god" is going to harm her more than help her, she wants to stop abusing drugs, but "god" is also changing her natural orientation and appearance: she shaved most of her hair off and removed most of her facial piercings. She tells me she's happier than she has been in a while. If she really is happy, I don't know if I should try to change her mind about what she's doing or let it be.

 

[neonflux]

my heart is with you...

having had a friend who was also addicted to crack - lost home, business, children, wife - know that the only way he was able to conquor that particulary addiction was through born-again religion (of the salvation army - also homophobic - type). I hope that she is able to use it to stabilize and then finds a way to a church like mcc which will accept her as she truly is. i also hope that this doesn't end her relationship with you...

 

[blondi84]

Recently an ex girlfriend, and one of my best friends, had a near death experience. She had just been kicked out of Valley Hope for smoking ice and crack (the 11th treatment center that has given up on her) and on her way home (while smoking crack) she had a seizure and blacked out. Luckily, she's okay, but while having the seizure she told me she prayed to god to protect her, and she thinks he did.

Now she thinks she needs god to fix her life, and has been going to church. Apparently, some church members have been telling her that only god can take her drug addiction away, and she has stopped trying to get professional help. She's under the impression she can not be bisexual anymore and has stopped associating with a lot of our non-straight friends. I can't help but think in the long run, finding "god" is going to harm her more than help her, she wants to stop abusing drugs, but "god" is also changing her natural orientation and appearance: she shaved most of her hair off and removed most of her facial piercings. She tells me she's happier than she has been in a while. If she really is happy, I don't know if I should try to change her mind about what she's doing or let it be.

Just as some people find homosexuality, or paganism, or psychiatry to help them through life, some people find God. Unless your friend becomes totally isolated, just drops off the radar, I would not worry too much. Keep in touch with her though. Let her know that you are her friend, and that you respect whatever decisions she makes to try and improve her life. She might be very confused, and just looking for the right way to do things. Let her figure it out. From what you say she has had a hard time and if she finds something that is working to get her off the drugs then as a friend you should be super supportive! If she tells you that she cant accept your lifestyle, or decisions give her the space she needs, but remind her of the friend she has in you.

 

[hokieclimber]

I don't think the best way to convince someone to be open minded towards alternative lifestyles is to try to force them to think a certain way.

I agree with Blondi, she is free to make her own decisions and I wouldn't worry until you know there is something to worry about. I know a lot of people are nervous about realigious fanatisism, but I think the best way to encourage tolerance is to be tolerant.

I didn't mean that to sound as harsh as it probably did, but it gets my dander up when people try to change the way other people think/feel because they think that they know better.

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Sometimes people need a mental nudge to get going in the right direction. In this case it was religion. It sounds like other methods have not worked. There is a chemical dependancy but to get over that hill you need some mental fortitude.

If she has found that in religion I say let her have it. Be supportive, let her know she has a friend and you will be there for her. If it helps her overcome her destructive behavior let her have it. After she has accomplished that then she can be shown a clearer picure of herself.

jmho
Mik

 

[pa-guy]

I would just try to be supportive.

I'm not big on religions but it sounds to me religion, even if it changes her ability to accept others, is better then a crack addiction.

Trying to interfere will result in either losing her friendship or, and far worse in my opinion, pushing her back towards drugs.

 

[JohnnyA]

Whatever she's doing to be off of the hard drugs is fantastic, so she needs to stick to that. If she's made a change and it's helping her body physically heal then be totally supportive for now. The big thing for now is for her to be away from the hard stuff, once she is cured from that then she will remember who her true friends are, during the bad time. Regardless or whether they are bi, straight, gay, or church-going.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if the church is keeping her away from death(from her drug addiction) then that's fantastic, but at some point she should step away from it and be herself again because a person's sexuality doesn't make them evil.

Church for physical health since it working, then friends for soul health once the healing is done.

Not sure if that all made sense.