Idea for roleplay...how do I bring it up?

[cherrychick248]

First off, hello to everybody. This is my first post. After lurking for a while, I found you to be open-minded and honest, so I figured I could post my questions/comments here. Anyway, I have a question for you all...
My boyfriend and I are very open-minded about sex. We know that we can ask each other anything and we have experimented in lots of different ways. There's a fantasy I have, however, that I don't quite know how to ask him. A) Because I don't know if he would want to do it, and B) I don't know if he would be too scared to do it the way I envision it. What is the fantasy, you ask? It's nothing too weird, at least I don't think. It's a "play-rape" fantasy, basically he would surprise me with it and call me names, be really rough, all of it. We've done domination things before, so I don't think that aspect of it would be the problem...I'm just afraid that he would be afraid of "going too far", and when it's part of the game to say, "Stop, get off me!" he'll misunderstand and think I changed my mind. Ladies, have you ever brought this up with a guy? And guys, if your lady brought this up, how would you react? Would you be game? Any advice would be appreciated...thanks!
-cherry-

 

[BirdsWife]

I'm just afraid that he would be afraid of "going too far", and when it's part of the game to say, "Stop, get off me!" he'll misunderstand and think I changed my mind.

You can avoid this problem by coming up with a "safe" word. You just pick a non-sexual word like cow or green or truck, and if things get out of hand then you say the word. That way you can still protest and say "get off" as part of the fantasy, and if things do get out of hand and you want to stop, you both know the safe word means just that: stop.

 

[Carnus]

I have a friend who wanted to try that so we did. The way she brought it up to me was kind of fun. We used to email each other links to stories we found on lit we liked. She started sending me lots of the rape fantasy stories. So I got the hint after a few emails
I went over to her house and let myself in with the spare key and waited for her to get home from work.
As soon as she stepped in I grabbed her from behind the door and put my hand over her mouth. I said in a low whisper "Don't you make a sound if you know what is best for you" and then took a long bladed knife (dulled for safety) and held the cold steel against her soft and vulnerable throat and while holding her against the wall that way undressed her roughly as I stared into her eyes.
We continued on with this fantasy for a couple of hours, watching her as I brushed the tip of the blade against her nipples, rubbing the flot cold steel of the blade between her thighs, the look in her eyes as she felt the touch of the cold metal against her clit was incredible to see. She never spoke the entire time I was there and when I was quite through with her in many many ways I used her torn pantyhose to tie her to her own bed and left.

I came back over iin a couple of hours and knocked on her door like normal. She opened the door to see me and pulled me inside and proceeded to show me how much she enjoyed her fantasy.

As for advice. Ask him about email links to each other from lit. Start with mild and go to wild showing him all the desires you have.

Carnus

 

[Vixandra]

They're right

Always have a safe word if you're doing any "rape" type fantasy. Because if you do freak out and get scared and don't have the word- he may thing you're just getting into things and keep going, which could ruin your faith in him completely.
If you're going to do the whole tearing cloths off, threats, etc, hit up walmart or some place like that for some cheep cloths you won't mind getting "savaged." Set the scene, don't scream loud enough to alert the neighbors and have fun.

 

[Bobmi357]

Make sure he stays within your comfort zones. You want this experience to be enjoyable, not really terrifying.

The last thing you want him to do is accidently step over some boundary when you didn't set any limits for him.

The desire of a fantasy and the reality are two different things, and you might be surprised at how you feel should you come home one night when suddenly the lights go out and you feel the clammy cold touch of gloved hands around your neck. Is it him? Is it someone else?

Or he grabs you and rips that 300.00 dollar gucci blouse off you. LIMITS and safewords are the keywords for this. But if he steps over the line and you didn't give him a list of do's and don'ts, don't be mad at him, be mad at yourself.