I'd like some feedback on my first story

[Belilica]

I just posted my first story, and I would love to get some input back to possibly improve my future stories. Instead of posting on here, please e mail me at belilica@yahoo.com. Thanks!

Bel

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=40472

 

[dvlinblue]

Well then...lets begin

Belilica,,
We have similar writing styles. I too have only one story posted. It found it's way to the number one slot for about thirty minutes then somehow ended up way back after only 11 votes.
But I truly enjoyed your story. I'm not editor or english major so i can't comment on how it was built. I like stories that don't involve "ted and Mandy" who met and then got it on. I like it like your (and mine) where the reader can think what they want. Could be 200 lbs or 100 it doesn't matter.
I've always been more interested in the "sensual" side of it.

But as it stands it was great!! Maybe you can check this out and tell me what you think.......

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=39949

 

[tiggercat]

Hm, very sexy.

Hey bel.

I like it.

Yes, it is who you think it is.

kitty

 

[tiggercat]

btw, sorry about dredging up an old thread.

I haven't quite figured out this board yet

 

[HarleydevilzoN]

Hot! ...but short

 

[Belilica]

Thanks guys

OMG TiggerCat??? I miss you babe, call me sometime!

And Harley, I know it's short... more like a poem. I have another one up now, if you're interested. The next few will be longer, I'm sure.

 

[tiggercat]

hey you finally got the message.

I still haven't figured out how to use this board, it is so different from what I am used to. I don't know how to just find the recent posts.

Anyhoo. I'll try to give you a call, I've got midterms this week though. my micro class is tough.

kitty

 

[Belilica]

In your user control panel, you can view your suscribed threads, or have e mail notification turned on in options, under the same menu. It'll send you e mails to your default account. Good luck on your midterms hunny, how's the Mr Munchkin?

 

[tiggercat]

Hm, I'll have to play around with it some

I found the control panel, but I am not signed up for anyhting and I am not sure how to do that. I think I am starting to get the hang of all of the different boards though. I still find it odd that you reply to a thread, not an individual person, so when I get email notifications sometimes it is for me and sometimes not.

Munchkin is sick, we went to a hockey game last night and he puked all over, yuck.

Thanks for the luck, I'll need it!


kitty

 

[tiggercat]

So where do you post

anyhow, you have 4000 some odd posts, but I hardly come across any of them heh.

n

 

[WinterSolstice]

I liked it!

Thank you!

I really enjoyed your story and style. I always appreciate it when an author takes the time to address the feelings and thoughts of the subjects of a story. Maybe a little more challenging, but well worth it.

Personally I find it difficult to keep a smooth flow between the "characters" and the "action." I will have to re-read your story and see what I can learn.

Thanks

WinterSolstice

 

[WinterSolstice]

I liked it!

Thank you!

I really enjoyed your story and style. I always appreciate it when an author takes the time to address the feelings and thoughts of the subjects of a story. Maybe a little more challenging, but well worth it.

Personally I find it difficult to keep a smooth flow between the "characters" and the "action." I will have to re-read your story and see what I can learn.

Thanks

WinterSolstice

 

[Belilica]

WinterSolstice: Thank you very much! I must say, it really makes an author feel good whenthey get feedback like that. When you re read it, if you have any constructive criticisms, please let me know

~Bel

 

[Belilica]

Re: Hm, I'll have to play around with it some

I found the control panel, but I am not signed up for anyhting and I am not sure how to do that. I think I am starting to get the hang of all of the different boards though. I still find it odd that you reply to a thread, not an individual person, so when I get email notifications sometimes it is for me and sometimes not.

Munchkin is sick, we went to a hockey game last night and he puked all over, yuck.

Thanks for the luck, I'll need it!


kitty

That sucks that he's sick. Mine is too, just coughing tho.

It'll take a bit of getting used to, but you'll get the boards. I remember the type of boards you were on before, MUCH different, yeah. Of my almost 5000 posts, most of them are on the General Board, which moves so fast it's not funny. If you want to search for a particular user, you can go up to the top and click search, there's an option for specific users, and I think in the bottom part of a person's reply below the sig there's a search link or button for that poster in particular. If there's anything else, just let me know, k?

 

[tiggercat]

I'll check out the general board

I'm sure I'll get used to them. These are cool boards to talk on. The preggy sex thread is funny, heh.

Hope your little one is better, mine is now except the damn runny nose. yuck.

 

[Belilica]

He's with Daddy tonight, aside from a bit of a cough, he seems to be fine now. Just don't let some of the assholes on the GB get to you, like Hanns, KuntMode, 4laterer...

 

[tiggercat]

daddy of this house is out studying.

must be nice ot have time to do that. LOL.

Don't worry about me, I'm a tough chika. \\

n

 

[Belilica]

I know hon, I was just sayin.... anyways, I hope things with exams go well, and perhaps make Daddy watch munchkin while you study for once...

 

[tiggercat]

exams bite big time.

my micro is done though, and I have organic chem tomorrow morning (that is why I am up, um, studying right now)

You are right this board moves quickly, I found a few interesting threads the other night.

n

p.s. daddy is ALWAYS busy/out I'm home alone again tonight.

 

[Belilica]

Re: exams bite big time.

my micro is done though, and I have organic chem tomorrow morning (that is why I am up, um, studying right now)

You are right this board moves quickly, I found a few interesting threads the other night.

n

p.s. daddy is ALWAYS busy/out I'm home alone again tonight.

That really really sucks. I hope Organic Chem went ok. Since you're a lot closer now, Munchie and I will have to come visit sometime soon, and often after that Glad to hear that you're having fun with the boards!

Oh, and just in case Daddy is slacking...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! x 12

 

[sanndry]

.

Keep it up and continue your story writing