iambic pentameter

[wildsweetone]

(Boo, I copied and pasted the title from Lauren, so if I've spelt it wrong, blame me for not looking in the dictionary )


Please can I have some help. Thanks to Boo, I have spinning eyeballs and braincells that are exploding and crashing into my skull.



For some reason I cannot click into the concept of iambic pentameter, I cannot wrap my words/head around to the da dum da dum beat.

'Step into the night as darkness unfurls
Collect evening whispers, gems and white pearls.'

Okay, I manage to get the 10 syllables per line, but the beat is not right, right?

I almost get the feeling I need to write in one syllable words in order to get the beat right.

What am I doing wrong?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Step into the night as darkness unfurls
Collect evening whispers, gems and white pearls.

This is how I read it, which certainly isn't iambic pentameter. Now, how to correct it? Hm. Let me think for a few minutes.

 

[The_Fool]

Where's Ange?

Okay. When I am writing Iambic, I overaccentuate the pronunciation of the word, determining the strongest syllables. Because of rhyming, I often start at the end of the sentence and work backwards. Many times I will start with the word I am rhyming and come up with two, three, four or more words that rhyme to give me options. This is especially true when working on Villanelles or Rubias which have much less flexibility with the number of rhymes within the poem. I say the phrasing to myself and overstate the accent on the phrasing. And I count the beat on my fingers to make sure that I have the right number of syllables.

It is really more about ear training to recognize the beat. Probably closer to music than a lot of other poetry. With practice, you can actually "feel" the proper beat and the correct measure of the syllables. Just takes practice.

It is not easy. You have to learn to scrap whole phrases and start over when they don't work out. You also have to learn to avoid using words that limit your ability to rhyme, which is harder. 'Cause you get to the point where you want to say "I want to use that word, dammit!!!"

Hope this helps.

 

[The_Fool]

Step into the night as darkness unfurls
Collect evening whispers, gems and white pearls.

This is how I read it, which certainly isn't iambic pentameter. Now, how to correct it? Hm. Let me think for a few minutes.

I read it a little bit differently:

Step into the night as darkness unfurls
Collect evening whispers, gems and white pearls.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Thinking...

"darkness unfurls" will never become iambic, unless you add a strong syllable in the middle - "darkness BOOM unfurls". The alternative would be to change something, like: "darkness falls"

"Step into the night" is begging to be read as "Step into the night" - which means you'd need a weak syllable at the start.

So, something like, "You step into the night as darkness falls", would be iambic pentameter. It's not very good poetry and a little redundant, but it's iambic.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I read it a little bit differently:

Step into the night as darkness unfurls
Collect evening whispers, gems and white pearls.

Yep.

"Into" can be read either way. The first time around I tried to downplay "Step" and force the "into" so that the start of the line would feel iambic, but it was no good.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'm also having trouble downplaying "white". It's too strong a sound to be read as a weak syllable.

You step into the night as darkness falls
Collect the evening whispers, gems and pearls.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Of course that now the rhyme seems forced.

 

[Reltne]

I'm also having trouble downplaying "white". It's too strong a sound to be read as a weak syllable.

You step into the night as darkness falls
Collect the evening whispers, gems and pearls.

Doesn't anyone else read "evening" as three sylables?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Doesn't anyone else read "evening" as three sylables?

It could definitely be read like that, but would it help the cause?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Many polisyllablic words can have varying emphasis on different syllables and without context, some people prefer one way or the other. When we write in iambic pentameter, though, we're deliberately suggesting how a word should be read: evening or evening; different or diff'rent...

 

[The_Fool]

Doesn't anyone else read "evening" as three sylables?

You are correct, but it reminds me of Count Dracula....."Good Evening..."

 

[Lauren Hynde]

You are correct, but it reminds me of Count Dracula....."Good Evening..."

"Collect the e-ven-ing whisperrrs" - can you hear the French accent?

 

[PatCarrington]

i'm going to pour you all a line of Irish whiskeys before you start biting your fingernails and twitching your eyes.

feel free to drop one down whenever the trembling starts...they're on me.

 

[The_Fool]

"Collect the e-ven-ing whisperrrs" - can you hear the French accent?

OH darling....you know how I love it when you speak French...........


MMMMMwwwwwaaahhhhh!!!

 

[The_Fool]

i'm going to pour you all a line of Irish whiskeys before you start biting your fingernails and twitching your eyes.

feel free to drop one down whenever the trembling starts...they're on me.

I wrote my first triolet, villanelle and sestina drinking Scotch......

 

[PatCarrington]

I wrote my first triolet, villanelle and sestina drinking Scotch......

i think that might be the only way it would be possible for barstoolers like us.

 

[PatCarrington]

OH darling....you know how I love it when you speak French...........


MMMMMwwwwwaaahhhhh!!!

i thought the French language had NO stresses.....

.....this is not for me.

 

[Angeline]

Here I am. I was cooking a big complicated dinner. Phew. I never thought I'd be so relieved to see a thread about iambic pentameter.

Iambic pentameter is a metrical rhythm, a way of positioning the sounds of syllables in a line of verse. An "iamb" refers to a rhythm occurring within two-syllable pairs. Within each pair, you read the first syllable unstressed and the second stressed. "Penta," of course, refers to the number five, so one line of iambic pentameter has five iambs or ten syllables in the unstressed, stressed pattern.

Soooooooo

If you look at the following line from one of Shakespeare's most famous sonnets:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

and use the unstressed, stressed reading, you get

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

You can force yourself to read it in a perfect iambic pentameter voice, but really how important is that?

Lots of people wrote (and write) sonnets, but very few poets--noteably Shakespeare--consistently wrote them in iambic pentameter. You don't *have* to write them that way. Also when you bear in mind that most readers are not trained to read iambic pentameter as such, you see that it's less important to write a perfectly metrical poem than it is to write a good one. IMHO anyway.

Fooly? Will you please pass the scotch now?

 

[BooMerengue]

(Boo, I copied and pasted the title from Lauren, so if I've spelt it wrong, blame me for not looking in the dictionary )


Please can I have some help. Thanks to Boo, I have spinning eyeballs and braincells that are exploding and crashing into my skull.



For some reason I cannot click into the concept of iambic pentameter, I cannot wrap my words/head around to the da dum da dum beat.

'Step into the night as darkness unfurls
Collect evening whispers, gems and white pearls.'

Okay, I manage to get the 10 syllables per line, but the beat is not right, right?

I almost get the feeling I need to write in one syllable words in order to get the beat right.

What am I doing wrong?

I wrote this silly thing a long time ago after another of lauren's challenges.

Iamb Learning
by BooMerengue ©

Okay my friends come here and listen up;
I'll try to teach you how to place your words
to mimic flights of Angels and of birds
and not the antics of a playful pup!

Its best if you can write the way you speak
and let the accent fall where it is meant.
Dont force it by plac ing it dif fer ent.*
By bending words sometimes you make them weak.

*You see what I just did; I made you stumble.
I should replace the word 'force' but I won't.
Or do you think I should replace the 'don't'?
To find just the right word will make you humble.

I watched Hyndes task bring on the puzzled faces
and then I saw a trace of something more
from those across the pond whom we adore
They put their accent marks in different places!

When you are through then open your thesaurus
and decorate your work with sounds that sing!
Now praise yourself for all the joy you'll bring
and give a wink to this ol' dinosaurus!​

Remember...
Iambic pentameter is the style used for great loves and Sacred Texts. For me this makes it easier to use 'dressier words'!

Hope it helps.

 

[wildsweetone]

Oh what a great help! Thank you ...maybe drenching myself in reading this form will help knock the beat into my head.


I was fiddling during work and came up with this:


Sleep through the night as dark unfurls the day
As evening whispers, gems and white pearls stray
Wake! For the sun who scatte'd into flight (the wretched Mote line)
All diamond dreams so we could come to play.



I know this needs tons and tons of work, but for the moment I am concerned with getting the beat correct. Am I closer?

 

[The_Fool]

Oh what a great help! Thank you ...maybe drenching myself in reading this form will help knock the beat into my head.


I was fiddling during work and came up with this:


Sleep through the night as dark unfurls the day
As evening whispers, gems and white pearls stray
Wake! For the sun who scatte'd into flight (the wretched Mote line)
All diamond dreams so we could come to play.



I know this needs tons and tons of work, but for the moment I am concerned with getting the beat correct. Am I closer?

Works for me....

 

[wildsweetone]

It does? darn, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Thank you Fool

 

[BooMerengue]

Sounds pretty damn good to me, too, Sweet Babeeeee!!!

*weg!

 

[wildsweetone]

*weg!

...time to change the AV dear? *grin*


Okay ignore me, I'm in one of those moods and better off not posting.


I'm working on the second verse. Got the first line but the second one doesn't work yet. Ah well, it's the weekend here so I'll have some time to play about and pull my hair out.