I Was Played

[horsie_gurl]

To be quite honest, I didn't choose to get angry. The anger installed itself literally seconds after receiving her text saying she doesn't wanna' see me anymore... It's actually at that point that something inside me snapped like it never has before. I'm never, EVER violent. Ever! I've never layed a finger on anyone or anything... except last night and this morning when I laced into my door and a wall...

But I spoke to her again this morning... she deleted me off Facebook which I was gonna' do. But it hurt my ego some when I realized she beat me to it (Yeah, I'm a Leo). So I texted her simply saying all this was one day gonna' come back to her. I don't know when and where, but it's going to blow up in her face some day... that sparked another long conversation which, in the end, was a little more docile and calm.

I understand now that she's miserable. She doesn't like where her life has brought her and she sure as shit doesn't like who she is. I'm now pretty sure the medication she's taking are anti-depressants... if not, I think it would be wise of her to get a prescription for them... I know this doesn't the least bit excuse what she did. I still don't know if she did it consciously or unconsciously, but I do know that she's already terribly depressed enough as it is, I don't think adding gasoline to that fire'll help. I wished her to someday find joy in living and that I hoped she could be happy someday... which was sincere... and she replied by saying she wishes me all the best. We left it at that.

But her self-esteem is ridiculously low and so is her lust for life. I'm still royally pissed off at how I was toyed with and deceived... how this is just another black mark on my dossier... but in the end, there's nothing I can do that'll make her feel any worse than she already is.

And as cruel as it sounds, knowing that she's suffering more than me, even if it's not because of what just happened here, makes me feel just that much better about the whole situation. If she was actually a happy human being, I think I wouldn't be able to let go of it just yet.

So my anger has transformed into hurt and pitty. I guess that's better. I hope that better.

Honestly, from your first messaged I pitied her. She and I are a lot alike in this aspect. I found out what was causing all my problems was Borderline Personality Disorder. Do some research if you care to. The main symptom one feels is this crazy deep loneliness that causes us to seek out someone and fall hard for anyone who offers a sign of love. Whether they are good for us or not we will try to accept them into our lives to avoid that loneliness. However, there is a part that has a huge fear of being crowded, controlled. So a person with BPD can hide, run away from, or just ignore that person they are with because they get a fear of the relationship. They will often break the relationship with no excuse because even they don't know why they don't want it, but when its over it is back to the hell pit of extreme loneliness.

I am not saying this is what she has because I don't know her but the situation sounds exactly like something I've done.

I had a perfect relationship for two years, but after 4 months I started feeling like he was too into me, like the kisses and hugs in public were too much, like he wanted to talk too much, like I was being crowded. We broke up and then missed each other too much and got back together. This repeated over 20 times before he finally couldn't take it anymore. I never had an explanation for the loss of interest, but I loved him completely. It hurt for me to find out about the BPD, but at the same time it was a relief because I had something to work on. If she is seeing a doctor, she is aware of her problems and should warn people before she hurts them, she's going to need someone with patience and good understanding of what she is going through. Otherwise she probably should see a doctor because shes going to be self-destructive if she hates the "person she is".

 

[silverwhisper]

mac, most people use a blog for stuff like this. and not to be a dick about it, but this isn't really a how to question, dude.

ed

 

[horsie_gurl]

haha true

 

[Mac98]

Honestly, from your first messaged I pitied her. She and I are a lot alike in this aspect. I found out what was causing all my problems was Borderline Personality Disorder. Do some research if you care to. The main symptom one feels is this crazy deep loneliness that causes us to seek out someone and fall hard for anyone who offers a sign of love. Whether they are good for us or not we will try to accept them into our lives to avoid that loneliness. However, there is a part that has a huge fear of being crowded, controlled. So a person with BPD can hide, run away from, or just ignore that person they are with because they get a fear of the relationship. They will often break the relationship with no excuse because even they don't know why they don't want it, but when its over it is back to the hell pit of extreme loneliness.

I am not saying this is what she has because I don't know her but the situation sounds exactly like something I've done.

I had a perfect relationship for two years, but after 4 months I started feeling like he was too into me, like the kisses and hugs in public were too much, like he wanted to talk too much, like I was being crowded. We broke up and then missed each other too much and got back together. This repeated over 20 times before he finally couldn't take it anymore. I never had an explanation for the loss of interest, but I loved him completely. It hurt for me to find out about the BPD, but at the same time it was a relief because I had something to work on. If she is seeing a doctor, she is aware of her problems and should warn people before she hurts them, she's going to need someone with patience and good understanding of what she is going through. Otherwise she probably should see a doctor because shes going to be self-destructive if she hates the "person she is".

Is BPD an actual psychological unbalancement (??) like depression or is it more of a psychological disorder like schizophrenia or Bi-polarity? I'll look into it. I don't know if she has that, maybe... but even if she doesn't, the symptoms you named sound a LOT like the symptoms of a friend of mine. Thanks!

mac, most people use a blog for stuff like this. and not to be a dick about it, but this isn't really a how to question, dude.

ed

Ed... I'm not sure how or where to write a blog. Besides, the only reason I come on Lit is to hang around How To... that's where all the cool, decent, kind-hearted people are. I care not for the topic, I care for the people.

But if you really want me to move the topic somewhere else, you just say the words, my friend, and presto... I'll see if someone can do that for y'all (cuz I don't know how).

 

[SweetErika]

Ed... I'm not sure how or where to write a blog. Besides, the only reason I come on Lit is to hang around How To... that's where all the cool, decent, kind-hearted people are. I care not for the topic, I care for the people.

But if you really want me to move the topic somewhere else, you just say the words, my friend, and presto... I'll see if someone can do that for y'all (cuz I don't know how).

Maybe you guys could compromise and keep the updates to the original threads, rather than starting new threads for them.

I don't necessarily agree with Ed on this. As long as you're here for discussion and growth, rather than just venting, I think you're fine. People who create threads to rant/vent or get validation should probably stick to blogs and the like; those who are here to learn and contribute are usually in the right place.

Oh, and if you do want to get a free blog, you can do so on any number of sites, from LiveJournal to Wordpress. Most of them have simple tours and tutorials to help you get started.

 

[silverwhisper]

in retrospect: mac, i apologize. i was in a bad mood. forget i said anything about it. :>

thanks erika, for making me think about it.

ed

 

[Tmmldr]

Thanks, but right now, I have all this pent up rage exploding in mini sessions of agressivity. I can't find anything else to break in my house so I'm not sure I'm ready to meet someone new... ....

Hey, chill.

You'll run into that witch after some time, like a year or so, and wonder what ever got into you that made you interested in such an uglier than snot personality and bod.

 

[coastal-boy]

I'm not necessarily sure I understand how she made the right choice...

I say that because of your actions here, in this thread. You blame her actions on her issues. Maybe she sensed something that she didn't like or understand about you and because of her issues, she was unable to face them in a better way.


You go on and say...

I swear to anyone here, this isn't my usual reaction. ...

Maybe...but I haven't seen that. In fact, I have observed the exact opposite. Bottom line, you sure find it easy to blame her. And you still are. Again...who are you to know what is in her head?

 

[Mac98]

I say that because of your actions here, in this thread. You blame her actions on her issues. Maybe she sensed something that she didn't like or understand about you and because of her issues, she was unable to face them in a better way.


You go on and say...



Maybe...but I haven't seen that. In fact, I have observed the exact opposite. Bottom line, you sure find it easy to blame her. And you still are. Again...who are you to know what is in her head?

To be honest, I re-read the whole conversation I had with her today... and I really do feel bad. I feel guilty, actually. I said some things that I really had no right to say. I think texting was a bad idea and a lot of what I said were misinterpreted and a lot of what she said was mis-interpreted. I wrote her a short e-mail saying I was sorry... weather she was honest or not in her intentions.

I said if she was honest, then I can't apologize enough. If not, then I'm appologizing for sinking down to her level. But I really do feel like a douche and I am ashamed of the way I reacted... even is she was playing me, I still feel childish about it... and now I have a door to fix.

So I see where you're coming from and I accept the criticism. Thanks.


And Ed: Don't worry about it! lolll I really was understanding of what you were saying and would've been glad to move the thread somewhere else. In the futur, I won't start a new thread for the same subject...

 

[VelvetSin]

To be honest, I re-read the whole conversation I had with her today... and I really do feel bad. I feel guilty, actually. I said some things that I really had no right to say. I think texting was a bad idea and a lot of what I said were misinterpreted and a lot of what she said was mis-interpreted. I wrote her a short e-mail saying I was sorry... weather she was honest or not in her intentions.

I said if she was honest, then I can't apologize enough. If not, then I'm appologizing for sinking down to her level. But I really do feel like a douche and I am ashamed of the way I reacted... even is she was playing me, I still feel childish about it... and now I have a door to fix.

Time has a way of showing us when we've overreacted. While it was all an overreaction, at least it was done in the privacy of your own home on an inanimate object that can't file assault charges. It's more than many people can say when caught by the Anger Monster.

Oh, and I thought of this thread today! I was watching Oprah this afternoon (yeah, I admitted it) and Wynona Judd made a comment that brought this conversation to mind. She said, "The best revenge is living well." In that, she meant no matter how someone wrongs you, the best way to get back is to be the better person and rise above the situation. While it sounds like you've kicked the revenge idea to the curb, I liked the comment and thought I'd pass it along (even if it does require an admission of that I tuned in ).

 

[southernsky]

Ya know, there's actually quite a lot that goes into coming up with a psychiatric diagnosis, and even more work and observation and collaboration with other professionals that goes with making a personality disorder diagnosis. I don't think it's fair for you to throw around psychiatric terms just because you're angry and upset with her. Many people can also take psychiatric medications and not have an official diagnosis or disorder.

It sounds like you may benefit from some counseling yourself if your first response to a situation like this is the one you posted here. That's not normal for it to last so long and be so intense that you're coming on here to post about how you hope her doctor drugs her up good before he fucks her. That's actually about got my eyes bugging out of my head, and I was pretty upset by the shovel comment as well. If you don't have healthy channels for your anger by the time you're 20 and you're having self-esteem problems that lead you to believe that people are trying to trick you or "play" you, I hope you find yourself a better mental place to live. The one you're in isn't gonna get you far, and honestly, I wish guys like you came with a big warning label in red Sharpie.

 

[DewMee]

This is a follow-up thread to "Crazy-Ass Night".

Today, I was supposed to go see "Kate" who's real name (at this point, it doesn't really fucken matter, I guess) is Jade. I was supposed to go talk to her about how I feel I'm starting to develop feelings for her... how I'm scared of being played.

I was supposed to meet her for around 6:00 at her place about 30 minutes away in the city. By 7, I txted her "??" to which she replied:

"I'm sorry, I'm stressed out by all this :S. Sorry if I've hurt you in any way. I'd get along really well with you but now you have me all mixed up, I don't know how to interpret this."

So instead of fucken TELLING me she was uncomfortable with all this, she just let me squander aroun like a fool for nothing, just to shoot me down by text message.

Quite obviously pissed the fuck off, I replied "...What?? Aren't you the one who told me if I never risk anything, I'll live the rest of my life miserable? I ask 15 minutes of your time after you told me you were fine with everything and willing to talk about it, now you don't know how to interpret all of this?? Please tell me what the fuck is going on in your head right now."

...So she keeps bullshitting me around, telling me she felt bad making me drive down just so we can talk 15 minutes, I tell her to stop treating me like a retard. In the end, I asked her if this meant she didn't wanna' talk to me anymore. She said she doesn't know. I asked her to just fucken tell me why she's reacting like this and she stopped replying.

In the end, I wrote to her saying I was ashamed of having trusted her instead of trusting everyone who had said all the shit behind her back. I told her I was ashamed of having been so fucken manipulated and played by someone who couldn't give a rat's shit about me. I told her to stay away from me and my family and that I didn't want my mom having anything to do with her dad (long story).

She hasn't replied. I doubt she even fucken cares.

So in the end, I was lasoed by some attention-craving, insecure bitch! Then, when I admitted to her how I felt and lay all my vulnerabilities on the line, she made me feel guilty for wanting to take a step back... telling me I have to take risks in life. Finally, I'm ready to take a risk and she tells me she doesn't wanna' see me anymore. She toyed with me like I was a piece of fucken dog shit!

I'm so pissed off right now and I don't know where to channel my rage other than on my bedroom door that's suffered enough tonight... So sorry to lay this all on you tonight, but I feel like I'm gonna' fucken shoot somebody.

Lesson learned for me, I guess! Last time I'm trusting someone before trusting rumors and speculations!

Fuck her!!!!

Thank you

Mac

Its this reason why I don't have boyfriends.

 

[Mac98]

Time has a way of showing us when we've overreacted. While it was all an overreaction, at least it was done in the privacy of your own home on an inanimate object that can't file assault charges. It's more than many people can say when caught by the Anger Monster.

Oh, and I thought of this thread today! I was watching Oprah this afternoon (yeah, I admitted it) and Wynona Judd made a comment that brought this conversation to mind. She said, "The best revenge is living well." In that, she meant no matter how someone wrongs you, the best way to get back is to be the better person and rise above the situation. While it sounds like you've kicked the revenge idea to the curb, I liked the comment and thought I'd pass it along (even if it does require an admission of that I tuned in ).

Hahaha! I won't judge you for watching Oprah, so long as you don't do it again (sorry, not a huge fan... at all!). But you're right, the best thing I can do is forgive and forget, then move on. I've been through worse before, the timing was just bad, that's all.

Ya know, there's actually quite a lot that goes into coming up with a psychiatric diagnosis, and even more work and observation and collaboration with other professionals that goes with making a personality disorder diagnosis. I don't think it's fair for you to throw around psychiatric terms just because you're angry and upset with her. Many people can also take psychiatric medications and not have an official diagnosis or disorder.

It sounds like you may benefit from some counseling yourself if your first response to a situation like this is the one you posted here. That's not normal for it to last so long and be so intense that you're coming on here to post about how you hope her doctor drugs her up good before he fucks her. That's actually about got my eyes bugging out of my head, and I was pretty upset by the shovel comment as well. If you don't have healthy channels for your anger by the time you're 20 and you're having self-esteem problems that lead you to believe that people are trying to trick you or "play" you, I hope you find yourself a better mental place to live. The one you're in isn't gonna get you far, and honestly, I wish guys like you came with a big warning label in red Sharpie.

I'll write it on my forehead just for you, Southernsky. I'll then grab my shovel and bury any comment that may have flustered or offended you. But I will say that I overreacted for about 15 hours... that doesn't sound like it lasted so long to me. I know people who get stuck in that rutt for days on end, sometimes months.

And it's quite obvious that my personal issues made surface here, and no one's denied that. Just like her issues did too. She pressed her fingers in my wounds and I reacted with rage... for half a day, which includes the night time (so let's say minus 4 hours). I'm no good at comparisons, but I'm pretty sure that overreacting by punching through a door and posting angry posts on a website is not as intense as someone actually beating his girlfriend up or driving his car 100mph while drunk.

As I said before, I feel childish and really stupid for saying the things that I said here and that I said to her (that were nowhere near as harsh as what I said here). I doubt that because of one episode I should be deemed mentally unstable, but if that's the diagnosis you want to give me, then knock yourself out, you probably no a lot more about mental instabilities than I do.

And I never said she had a mental disorder, I, with horsie_gurl, speculated it might be that...

Its this reason why I don't have boyfriends.

...I'm sorry to hear that. I assure you not all guys are like that just like (I hope) not all girls are like Jade is/was... whatever!

 

[Epmd607]

From this thread and the other it still sounds like she was into you but you freaked her out with your lack of confidence in yourself as a dude she could kick it with. Girls will blow off a guy that weirds them out, even ones they were genuinely into. Don't send anymore messages apologizing or accusing. Being played resembles: Girl gets guy interested in her because she's bored, wants attention, girl receives attention and then stops talking to guy.

Your story sounds like: Girl flirts with guy, wants to spend time with guy, guy makes excuses not to spend time with her at a normal date place when given the opportunity, guy makes an effort to get her alone in a unabomber cabin, girl gets uncomfortable with the weirdness and wants to avoid alone time with guy, guy overreacts and comes off kinda violent in his response to her rejection.

 

[ace195008]

Hey Mac98, dont beat yourself up over this situation. I feel like some others in the thread, live and learn. I got stung 4 yrs ago and i was 56. Taken in by a user who used sex to get into my house, I finally kicked her ass out. She was sponging off me financially, this also happened at the time of my emotions not being so great, after loosing a wife to a heart attach that year. What I am saying, your a young guy, throw if off, but learn from it ....

 

[Mac98]

From this thread and the other it still sounds like she was into you but you freaked her out with your lack of confidence in yourself as a dude she could kick it with. Girls will blow off a guy that weirds them out, even ones they were genuinely into. Don't send anymore messages apologizing or accusing. Being played resembles: Girl gets guy interested in her because she's bored, wants attention, girl receives attention and then stops talking to guy.

Your story sounds like: Girl flirts with guy, wants to spend time with guy, guy makes excuses not to spend time with her at a normal date place when given the opportunity, guy makes an effort to get her alone in a unabomber cabin, girl gets uncomfortable with the weirdness and wants to avoid alone time with guy, guy overreacts and comes off kinda violent in his response to her rejection.

I didn't invite her to a unabomber cabin alone. We were supposed to be 4 friends the first time and the second time, my father and a friend of his were gonna' be there. I invited her on 3 occasions and she blew ME off, not the other way around. I never denied any of her invitations. But maybe she was just looking for a friend and I scared her off by admitting my feelings. That's definately a possibility. But in any case, she lives in the big city over 30 minutes away and because of a delicate situation, our mutual friends are no longer friends with her (long story) so the only way we could've hung out would be alone... or with people one of us don't know (which I always let her know I was comfortable with).

Hey Mac98, dont beat yourself up over this situation. I feel like some others in the thread, live and learn. I got stung 4 yrs ago and i was 56. Taken in by a user who used sex to get into my house, I finally kicked her ass out. She was sponging off me financially, this also happened at the time of my emotions not being so great, after loosing a wife to a heart attach that year. What I am saying, your a young guy, throw if off, but learn from it ....

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and it pisses me off that people can be so selfish as to profit from other people when they're weak, powerless and vulnerable. It really gets to me!

 

[Somehowyou]

Its this reason why I don't have boyfriends.

Hey Dewmee, PM me I am a male and I will just be a guy you can go out with and have a few laughs and I won't try to own you (like the OP). And if we are really comfortable with each other I will give you great sex!

MAC - I just read i was played and Kate rubbed your hair and your belly and smiled at you and this was a crazy-ass night? This does not strike me as too crazy ass. Don't be so desperate and maybe you will get laid someday. Nobody wants some lost puppy following them around after a grope.

Good luck. This is a start. Keep working at it. You will get laid someday.

 

[horsie_gurl]

_deleted_

 

[Mac98]

Hey Dewmee, PM me I am a male and I will just be a guy you can go out with and have a few laughs and I won't try to own you (like the OP). And if we are really comfprtable with each other I will give you great sex!

MAC - I just read i was played and Kate rubbed your hair and your belly and smiled at you and this was a crazy-ass night? This does not strike me as too crazy ass. Don't be so desperate and maybe you will get laid someday. Nobody wants some lost puppy following them around after a grope.

Good luck. This is a start. Keep working at it. You will get laid someday.

There was more beyond that, that night... I just didn't post it cuz it didn't have anything to do with the subject... and unlike yourself, I'm not really looking to get laid. But I respect your wanting to..? Good luck with Dewmee.

 

[Somehowyou]

There was more beyond that, that night... I just didn't post it cuz it didn't have anything to do with the subject... and unlike yourself, I'm not really looking to get laid. But I respect your wanting to..? Good luck with Dewmee.

MAC98

Sorry to be so hard on you but sometimes a young guy like you needs an abrupt slap in the face. Look an attractive desireable female demonstrated some interest in you and because she changed her mind upon further reflection and you want to hit her in the face with a shovel?

From reading this thread and the "Crazy Ass Night Thread" I infer that you are coming of age and not too experienced with woman and haven't had a whole lot of luck (not like your buddy Dom anyway). Your coment back to me - "I'm not really looking to get laid" - tells me that you want a girl friend. All I am saying is that i remember those days. I can bore you with stories. But I didn't really have much success with women until I learned to relax a little and not try to hard and just have fun.

To me you come off as a little desperate. The girl decided to have some fun with you and right away you want a serious relationship. To some woman this is a turnoff...you are coming on too strong. You had fun that night. Play it cool and there will be more nights like this in your future. Just wait to you graduate from college and land a nice job. That success will make you even more attractive to everyone. Play the feild and have fun NSA. At some point you will find someone that you decide is special. There will be a mutual attraction that will develop over time. At this point you may both decide to make your relationship exclusive. Until then play it cool and stop scaring the woman away.

 

[FloridaCouple]

I still wish she were a guy so I could break her fucken face in with a shovel...

Wow. You must be some catch!

Maybe you have a personality quirk that she saw, and you did nor see.

EDIT:
Your quote from your "crazy ass" thread - "lolllll Firebrain... read any other thread I've ever started; paranoia and over-analyzing is ALWAYS an issue with me."

And you have very low self esteem. And you refer to in-shape guys as "roid raging douchebags."

These things all come through in your personality. If I met a girl with that personality, I do not think I'd be thrilled about it.

 

[Mac98]

MAC98

Sorry to be so hard on you but sometimes a young guy like you needs an abrupt slap in the face. Look an attractive desireable female demonstrated some interest in you and because she changed her mind upon further reflection and you want to hit her in the face with a shovel?

From reading this thread and the "Crazy Ass Night Thread" I infer that you are coming of age and not too experienced with woman and haven't had a whole lot of luck (not like your buddy Dom anyway). Your coment back to me - "I'm not really looking to get laid" - tells me that you want a girl friend. All I am saying is that i remember those days. I can bore you with stories. But I didn't really have much success with women until I learned to relax a little and not try to hard and just have fun.

To me you come off as a little desperate. The girl decided to have some fun with you and right away you want a serious relationship. To some woman this is a turnoff...you are coming on too strong. You had fun that night. Play it cool and there will be more nights like this in your future. Just wait to you graduate from college and land a nice job. That success will make you even more attractive to everyone. Play the feild and have fun NSA. At some point you will find someone that you decide is special. There will be mutual attraction that will develop over time. At this point you may both decide to make your relationship exclusive. Until then play it cool and stop scaring the woman away.

This is exactly the misunderstanding Jade and I had. I wasn't going there hoping she'd tell me she felt the same way. All I wanted to do was clear the air, have a discussion about it and figure out how we proceed from then on. I'm open to having a friendship with someone I have feelings for even though they don't share those feelings with me. I prefer having a friendship with that person than nothing at all. Unfortunately, I don't think she perceived my intentions that way and freaked out. I still think her reaction was WAY immature and really not the right one, but neither was mine and I admited it over and over again. But like I've said, it was a cheap shot that hit me bulls-eye where my biggest weakness is.

I'm not desperate. I'm not looking for a girlfriend per se. I don't prowl around looking for people I could possibly date. I'm just a sucker when it comes to developping feelings for someone.

Wow. You must be some catch!

Maybe you have a personality quirk that she saw, and you did nor see.

EDIT:
Your quote from your "crazy ass" thread - "lolllll Firebrain... read any other thread I've ever started; paranoia and over-analyzing is ALWAYS an issue with me."

And you have very low self esteem. And you refer to in-shape guys as "roid raging douchebags."

These things all come through in your personality. If I met a girl with that personality, I do not think I'd be thrilled about it.

No, I don't generalize all "in-shape guys" to be "roid-raging douchebags", but the average 20 year-old trying to prove he's the alpha male usually ends up going out to clubs to prove to himself that he's a man... At least where I'm from. I don't really wanna' get into that debate, cuz that's a whole other subject, but trust me. I live in douchebag central.

It's too bad you'd judge me as a poor catch from one angry post... but I see why you would. Not my proudest moment, that's for sure.

I'm really a nice guy, though lol

 

[littlebabyclit]

While I agree with some of the posters here that Mac98's reactions to Kate have been quite emotionally intense...I think it should be pointed out that he has also taken all of your advice quite well- responding respectfully, rationally and considering all your viewpoints as helpful. I'd bet he's learned more from what has transpired than maybe he's being given credit for... it's one thing to rant about something, it's quite another to be able to step back and scrutinize your reactions and realize where you went wrong.
Mac appears to be doing this, quite maturely, even moreso than people older than him might ever do.

All of you have given him excellent advice, I haven't one more thing to add- except this. Maybe when someone SAYS they'd LIKE to take a shovel to someone's face...now I'm not defending the choice of words or the sentiment behind it, but that doesn't mean he'd actually go ahead and DO it.

Just sayin'...

 

[Somehowyou]

I'm just a sucker when it comes to developping feelings for someone.

This is what I am talking about. This is a big turn off. A Girl meets a nice guy and with posibilities. Over the course of an evening she pays some attention to the nice guy. At the end of the evening theres a some making out, maybe more.... The next thing she knows she is down a the sheriffs office filing a restraining order.

Try to have a casual reltationship until you are sure there is something there. Something that is mutual. Be the fun guy. Go out with groups of girls and guys and have fun.

I know that you didn't really want to hit her with a shovel. But the girl does not want all your drama because she did something with you one "Crazy Ass Night."

 

[funman_001]

Good suggestions from everyone. take 'em to heart and use 'em. next time when needed.

I would add a short one too. "Hi, howdy? Take care. See ya around" Hope it helps.