I want to share but I'm embarrassed.....

[Ebakes]

Hello!
I'm writing my first book and it's turning out to be SUPER erotic!
I'm so excited to be writing! I've never been so prolific, the content is just flowing out of me like never before!
The only problem is, I'm so excited but I feel like I can't tell anyone in my life about it! I want to shout it from the roof tops!!
I want to tell my friends, parents and other family members but when they ask what it's about I'll have no real answer....
I also have only a few people who are willing to read it which makes me pretty sad. I really want people I know and trust to edit for me but I don't have many friends who are willing to read explicit erotica.
My own wife isn't very interested and not even because of the erotic angle.
I guess I'm just wondering, how do you tell people in your life that you're a writer with out giving too much away??
Thanks!

 

[MrPixel]

The few who have been told I write, my wife and I tell them that I write romances.

There are other friends in our lifestyle (swinger) circles who know I write erotica, and have been given the links. Feedback has been enthused and positive.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

I'm betting that there are lot of 'Romance' writers on here. Whenever anyone asks, I'm a romance writer. Only my other half knows that I write erotica.

 

[Ebakes]

But what do you do if they say, "oh, we'd love to read your romance stories"?

 

[AchtungNight]

I first would make sure your audience is adult and have mature open minds. You should know where to draw the lines for that. If you don’t, start a private Conversation with me and I can tell you. Or ask here if you prefer. Basically make sure your audience is over the age of consent in your community and willing to read about various adult topics in general. Not overly political or religious about something, open for discussion. That is what I mean. Further details available upon request.

Then carefully explain the boundaries of your stories through private conversations. Do they include lesbians or gays? Bisexuality? Straight stuff? What genre? Sci-fi? Fantasy? Fanfic? What kinks do you include? Tell your prospective readers what you are writing about. Emphasize that it is fiction, not meant to offend. Adult readers with open minds compatible to yours will read and enjoy your work as much as they can. Readers who are otherwise interested will go elsewhere for their entertainment- accept this. Don’t try to force acceptance of your kinks on anyone else. This goes for philosophy as well as kinks by the way.

Advertise your stories in appropriate places. Lit and other online bookstores, like the adult sections of Amazon and Patreon, are good places. Welcome readers who find your work of interest. Don’t be afraid to include people you know among your prospective readers but do be ready to stop pushing your boundaries on those who are offended. You should know better than I who I mean. Respect others’ boundaries, bottom line. Watch out for past abuse history and extreme political views in general. Good luck.

 

[oneagainst]

Give them a PG story - maybe something you wrote in the Romance section that is toned down for general consumption? Then you can progress if they're really interested. It's called "boiling the frog" I believe.

Your other option (like myself) is to not say a word - because people finding out would have real world repercussions.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Give them a PG story - maybe something you wrote in the Romance section that is toned down for general consumption? Then you can progress if they're really interested. It's called "boiling the frog" I believe.

Your other option (like myself) is to not say a word - because people finding out would have real world repercussions.

I've done the same thing. If anyone really wants to read something, I'll email a softer more romantic story. Though I do warn them that's there is a little sex in it. If they still want to read more, I tell them the rest are a little sexier. If they're still interested, I'll send them a few with a little more heat. I'll change the title of the story though, so they can't trace it back to here, or discover my pen name.

 

[KeithD]

I've written over 200 books of erotica and have never told family or friends about it. You get over the urge after a while.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Hello!
I'm writing my first book and it's turning out to be SUPER erotic!
I'm so excited to be writing! I've never been so prolific, the content is just flowing out of me like never before!
The only problem is, I'm so excited but I feel like I can't tell anyone in my life about it! I want to shout it from the roof tops!!
I want to tell my friends, parents and other family members but when they ask what it's about I'll have no real answer....
I also have only a few people who are willing to read it which makes me pretty sad. I really want people I know and trust to edit for me but I don't have many friends who are willing to read explicit erotica.
My own wife isn't very interested and not even because of the erotic angle.
I guess I'm just wondering, how do you tell people in your life that you're a writer with out giving too much away??
Thanks!

Stating the obvious, I’m sure people here would read and respond to your work. Not the same as your loved ones, but this place can be a kind of a family, complete with a few weird Uncle types.

Em

 

[Ebakes]

Stating the obvious, I’m sure people here would read and respond to your work. Not the same as your loved ones, but this place can be a kind of family, complete with a few weird Uncle types.

Em

I thought about that, but I'm paranoid about people copying my work. Does that ever happen?

 

[EmilyMiller]

I thought about that, but I'm paranoid about people copying my work. Does that ever happen?

Not trying to be in your face, but why?

Are you looking to publish / make money from this story?

Em

 

[AchtungNight]

I've written over 200 books of erotica and have never told family or friends about it. You get over the urge after a while.

On my end, I got excited about my writing and mentioned it to my then wife, my mother, and other friends in the world outside this message board. Learning these friends were not prudes and could separate fantasy from reality as I could was a welcome thing. You just need to know where to draw the line. I have certain conservative religious people among my family and friends whom I hope never find out about my hobby. Or if they do find out and react about it as I expect, I will be happy to disconnect myself from them further after telling them it is because of their arrogance vs my rights to be creative within reason. Hope you get the idea where to draw your own lines.

 

[Ebakes]

Not trying to be in your face, but why?

Are you looking to publish / make money from this story?

Em

No, I defiantly don't want to try make money.
I would like to self publish some day and I guess I just want to make sure my words stay mine? I dunno, does that make sense?

 

[EmilyMiller]

No, I defiantly don't want to try make money.
I would like to self publish some day and I guess I just want to make sure my words stay mine? I dunno, does that make sense?

If you publish anywhere, you run the risk of plagiarism. But I think people worry too much. Why are they going to pick on you

And so what if they do? It’s not your livelihood, is it?

Em

 

[ElectricBlue]

I thought about that, but I'm paranoid about people copying my work. Does that ever happen?

All the time, but who cares? I doubt anyone makes much money out of pinching an amateur writer's first story.

What's so unique about your story that someone's going to steal it, claim it's their own?

Publish it here, let people read it. That's the whole point of this site.

 

[Ebakes]

If you publish anywhere, you run the risk of plagiarism. But I think people worry too much. Why are they going to pick on you

And so what if they do? It’s not your livelihood, is it?

Em

True....

 

[Ebakes]

All the time, but who cares? I doubt anyone makes much money out of pinching an amateur writer's first story.

What's so unique about your story that someone's going to steal it, claim it's their own?

Publish it here, let people read it. That's the whole point of this site.

Hmm, there's nothing too unique about my story...
Maybe I'm worried over nothing!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Hmm, there's nothing too unique about my story...
Maybe I'm worried over nothing!

I think so.

Em

 

[MediocreAuthor]

I only told my dad that I'm writing romance with an "erotic edge"

He didn't seem happy or sad, but he was said,

"Well as long as you're not writing about guys pinning women down and shoving cocks down their throats."


"Nope! Not that at all! HA HA HA HA HA"

But yeah, mostly I just tell people that I write romance, or sci-fi, or fantasy... Because all that's is true.

I've told several guys at work the plot of Rescuing the Fallen, with the erotic nature removed, and you'd be shocked how many of them support the basic idea of mind-controlling their wives.

That's pretty fucked up, no lie... But in the story, I eroticize the whole thing, so I guess I'm to blame too.

 

[NC_Coastal]

If you publish anywhere, you run the risk of plagiarism. But I think people worry too much. Why are they going to pick on you

And so what if they do? It’s not your livelihood, is it?

Em

I've written for a living for 40 years. I've been plagiarised several times. You feel mixed emotions. Pride? Anger? Humor? Sorrow? Empathy?
All of the above. You get over it pretty quickly unless it gets printed in a newspaper. The you become part of the news. That can be gut-wrenching.
Here? Not so much.

 

[Euphony]

you'd be shocked how many of them support the basic idea of mind-controlling their wives.

That's pretty fucked up, no lie... But in the story, I eroticize the whole thing, so I guess I'm to blame too.

• Stepford Wives
• Bladerunner
• WestWorld

Men desiring full control/free use/whatever they call the latest version of it culturally relevant is a tale as old as time.

Even at your worst, you are a drop in the eternal ocean.

 

[madelinemasoch]

Don’t try to force acceptance of your kinks on anyone else. This goes for philosophy as well as kinks by the way.

do be ready to stop pushing your boundaries on those who are offended. You should know better than I who I mean. Respect others’ boundaries, bottom line. Watch out for past abuse history and extreme political views in general. Good luck.

I've read this like six times and I can't figure out what it is you're eluding to exactly.

 

[AchtungNight]

I've read this like six times and I can't figure out what it is you're eluding to exactly.

Think about it. I don’t want to get specific in public, it’s too personal. Let’s just say I’m a victim of intolerance and arrogance and leave it at that.

 

[madelinemasoch]

Think about it. I don’t want to get specific in public, it’s too personal. Let’s just say I’m a victim of intolerance and arrogance and leave it at that.

I'm sorry to hear. I think we're fellow travelers on the unapproved roads.

 

[AchtungNight]

Thankfully we had poets like Robert Frost to point our way.