I want to die.

[Guest]

I'm a 19 year old male and I have a extreme fetish
for animal porn and I know I'm sick and all, and I
just want to kill myself so that I don't ever act
on the fetish.

I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

 

[Whispersecret]

Try contacting a crisis hot line. You can usually find the numbers in the phone book. GOod luck.

 

[Guest]

Please go here and read this info!

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

 

[Nicole]

Hey now first up you need to calm down. No fetish is that bad that you need to kill yourself.

I myself am into some things that may shock a few people here, but there things that I can deal with.

Obviously your fetish is at the point where it is affecting you, to the point of Suicide. I really don't think just the Fetish is the thing that has got you to that point either, you probably have some things going on that you don't realize are affecting you that way, things that your pushing to one side and blaming the Fetish for.

Go with Whispersecret on this one and seek help. Try to find someone with which you can talk to about not just the Fetish but your life and yourself. Even if you need to try to contact one of us and see if we can help you. I'm here you just need to hit the little mail sign at the bottom of my post, I may not be able to help you as I have never known anyone that close to wanting to kill themselves, but I CAN and WILL listen.

Please talk about it, it may help you deal with it.

Good Luck

[Edited by Nicole on 10-02-2000 at 09:18 PM]

 

[forgetunome]

Please go for help...

You need to talk to a therapist who can help you understand that you are worth saving and loving. Nothing is so bad that it can't be worked through. Please don't take such drastic measures your life is worth saving. I know...I was at your point at one time...not for your reason but...it doesn't have to be the same reason. When you have thoughts of suicide try to think of those who love you. I know I did and that would be the only thing at times to stop me. Please call someone or find someone a therapist or counselor your life is worth saving. I know I keep repeating that but, you have to repeat it and start believing it! I am rooting for you!

 

[teresafannin]

Please try to get some help. There are so many better ways to deal with a problem. Suicide is NEVER the answer. If it were, I would not have survived the last year. Please think of your family-how would they would feel if you were gone. My 17 year old son was murdered last year & it has totally devastated our family. He was my only child & the center of my world.The thought of any mother losing her child to suicide(self murder) is devastating to me. If you see this, feel free to email me, I care & I will listen.

 

[Stormystarr]

Please get help

I know how you feel, you feel alone, disgusting, dirty, and you feel as if no one cares. I am extremely suicidal, so I know how you feel. I could go on forever, but I won't.

There has to be more to it than this to make you feel like just leaving forever, never to be a burden to anyone ever again. If you want to talk, you can IM me on ICQ, or AIM, I can talk to you and tell you where to go for help, and if you don't want to hear about that, we can just talk. I'm a great listener.

I know you may not need to hear this, but maybe it will help you understand a little. I have tried every form of suicide known to man, and was always rushed to the hospital by people who loved me and cared about me when I thought no one did. I thought I was all alone. The final straw for me was this...

About 2 years ago, June 28, 1998 to be exact, I took a gun to my secret spot to end it all. I took 2 bullets with me. Just in case one was a dud. I put the first one in, made sure the safty was off, put it between my legs, up to my forehead, and pulled the trigger...nothing...so I put the other bullet in, did the same thing...nothing again! So I tried this all over again with each bullet several times, checking everything over to make sure I was doing it right. Nothing happened then either.
So I thought, fuck it, I can't even kill myself right, and went home. My now ex-husband knew what I had done, and had the police searching everywhere for me and they saw me coming toward the house. They went through the usual routine, but when I told them the gun wouldn't go off, they made me (with police supervision) do it the same way I did it at 'my spot'. Guess what happened to both of those bullets? They both went off on the first try! So I was put in the hospital under suicide watch for 3 weeks, and I started thinking. If they went off for the police, and not me then I'm not meant to die yet. I was put on this earth to do something important, and thats why I think that God or someone was really there with me that day, and prevented it.

I'm sorry this was so long, but I thought you should know that a lot of people feel like that at times, and some of us, all the time. Just tell yourself to wait a few more days, and in those few days, check yourself into the hospital and get some medication to start thinking clearly. I know this sounds stupid, and like I'm lecturing you. But I'm not, I just don't want you to kill yourself. And I really do mean that!

Please try to get help.

 

[Guest]

Suicide is never the answer. You probably feel the worst you've ever felt at the moment but you can feel better than this.

You're obviously very concerned about your thoughts and fantasies. Just remember that people have all kinds of fantasies. You're not alone in that. You've probably been bottling up your feelings for quite a while, feeling that there was no one you could tell about this. Maybe you're scared of what your family or friends would think of you if you tried to speak to them about how you feel.

But killing yourself isn't the solution. Sometimes when people are depressed they think "Everybody would be much better off if I just wasn't here" but that absolutely isn't true. The people left behind after a suicide are always devastated - utterly traumatised by the experience. They're left wondering "What did I do wrong?", "Is this my fault?", "Have I been a bad husband/ wife/ parent/ sister/ brother/ friend/ neighbour?" "Why couldn't he talk to me about how he was feeling?".

The REAL solution is to find people you can talk to about the way you're feeling. You need to find a way of getting all of this stuff off your chest. Just talking about all the thoughts buzzing around in your head can help make things so much clearer. You're probably too embarrassed to go to your friends or family about this but there are people online you can talk to or, as people here have been suggesting, you can seek counseling and professional help. Maybe you could visit your doctor and tell him/her that you've been having suicidal thoughts and that you want to talk to a counsellor.

By starting this strand you've shown that there's part of you that WANTS TO LIVE. You're reaching out for help. You've taken the first step towards feeling better.

You're still a young person. You've got a whole life ahead of you. You just need to get over this hurdle.

Good luck & take care
roger

 

[insideShiraz]

Dying Sucks...

Can I have your shoes?...

There's worse things than liking Beastiality... like being a Southern Baptist and believing the hype is all real.

 

[wolfy]

Don't worry about what other people think is perverted.
If you aren't hurting anyone then you arn't doing anything
wrong. Just because you are not happy now dosn't mean you
need to kill yourself tho it can be very tempting I know.
I've tried a few times and like Stormy said it just didn't
work. I was never cought by others I always did it totally
by myself and I never used a gun. But I was hit by a train,
I took enough sleeping pills to knock out an elephant and
I used 2 hefty bags over my head to try and sufficate myself.
None of these worked and the worst I got out of them was
a bloody nose from the suffication attempt and sever headaches
for a few days afterwards. The feeling I had after taking the
pills was really strange. I was SO TIRED it was unbelievable
but I couldn't get to sleep. It was almost like torture.
Anyway eventually I decided to enjoy my life as much as
possible and thats what I do. Enjoy yourself with what you
have and don't worry about what you can't get/do.
If you don't have friends/family to talk to and feel alone
then you might try one of those help sites they listed above
or you could email me. I'd be happy to talk to you all you
like and as long as you don't like hurting other people
nothing you do will disgust me in any way. There are many
things in life that are enjoyable and worth living for
and I really hope you have the time to find them.
River rafting is sooo fun...have you tried playing tennis?
Maybe try an online game or 2 they can be horribly addictive
but they also take up alot of time so you don't think about
things that you would rather be doing etc Anyway please
email me and we can talk. *hugs*

 

[Cheyenne]

Hey, need help. It's been a few days- how are you doing? Feeling any better?

 

[swerf]

You could always move to Australia and become a sheep farmer.

 

[Nicole]

You could always move to Australia and become a sheep farmer.

Hey that's New Zeland NOT Australia, thank-you very much. Just ask Bruiser

 

[wolfy]

How much does sheep farming pay?

 

[Handy-Andy]

As many lambs has you can eat wolfy or should that be as many little red riding hoods has you want to eat.

[Edited by Handy-Andy on 10-07-2000 at 03:25 PM]

 

[wolfy]

Hmm I guess I should change my handle before applying for any
sheep farming jobs laugh...didn't think of that.