I want to be President. Where do I start?

[Dixon Carter Lee]

City Council? Board of Education? Mayor? Professional Wrestling? Movies with Monkeys?

I'm serious. I've always wanted to go into politics, but I have no resume, and I don't know where to start. Congress is my real goal. Maybe I should team up with Cher for a while...

 

[Gil_Favor]

well, first off, are you a good liar?

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

City Council? Board of Education? Mayor? Professional Wrestling? Movies with Monkeys?

I'm serious. I've always wanted to go into politics, but I have no resume, and I don't know where to start. Congress is my real goal. Maybe I should team up with Cher for a while...

Nah. The last guy that did the Cher thing skied into a tree.

How about something new. Wrestling monkeys?

 

[islandman]

Neighborhood Watch leader.

 

[Jewelz]

Hire me as your intern. I have a blue dress.


*stalk*

 

[Guest]

well, first off, are you a good liar?

He's four foot tall lesbian IRL.

 

[Purple Haze]

You need a bad rug and a cheap suit...

 

[brokenbrainwave]

you say this like it is not already so hazey.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

You need a bad rug and a cheap suit...

PURPLE HAZE in 2004!!!!

 

[Ham Murabi]

Where do you start? How about with pandering.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

You could've played the race card if you were not to short to ride on the track.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

No, no, no. I want to be the other guy, the one who actually doesn't think it's a political career, but a civil service career. I want to be Jimmy Stewart. I want to be the good guy.

So maybe trying to model my career after all the liars, thugs and pervs before me isn't such a good idea, eh?

Hmm..

Okay, how 'bout I invoke Lincoln a lot?

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

You could've played the race card if you were not to short to ride on the track.

Nobody at Lit is whiter than Purple Haze.

Up the representative from Minnebraska!

HAZE in '04

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Okay, how 'bout I invoke Lincoln a lot?

It should get you the support of the UAW.

 

[glorfindale39]

First you need to have opionions on everything, but never state them clearly.

Next you need to be everyones friend, and yet treat people like strangers when convienent.

You need to have very out spoken moral values, that you never follow yourself.

Important one, you must be connected with at least one political family.

Pretend your Religious DCL. lol

Finally, you need to be REALLY good at fundraising.

If you do all that, run for an office that will get you enough noteriety to have name recognition for the higher races.

G.

 

[sunstruck]

You're an actor. Act like presidential material.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I was thinking of running for a city office without corporate funding and do an excellent job and always tell the truth. No good?

 

[sunstruck]

You can try it, but I'm telling you, it's all about your teeth and your handshake.

Oh, and you'd have to loose the goatee. Presidents haven't had facial hair in decades. I think it ended with Roosevelt.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I shaved that two months ago. But, again, I'm trying to buck the status quo here. Maybe, like George Castanza, I should ignore every impulse that seems "right", and do the exact opposite. Hmm. I start growing muttonchops today.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

How about graduate from a military academy. Time in the service will allow you to drape yourself in the American flag and shows the populace you have always cared abour your country.

Have your middle name be Lincoln.

Become a Governor. This seems to be a good spring board.

Let it leak out that you are not all that bright. It lowers peoples expectations. When you talk in complete sentences they will be so impressed they will forget to look for content.

Take your coat off when you talk, kiss the babies and shake a lot of hands.

(It also cann't hurt if you have family that is well connected.)

 

[sunstruck]

If you want to be unusual you could also try actually being involved in your community. You know, sans publicity. Soup kitchens, the big brother program...Oh, and no double talk.

 

[phrodeau]

Kiss as much ass as you can.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

If you want to be unusual you could also try actually being involved in your community. You know, sans publicity. Soup kitchens, the big brother program...Oh, and no double talk.

\

I've been involved with the Big Brother Program.

We know who you really are and who you have been doing.

And you thought Santa "knows when you've been sleeping, and knows when you're awake".....HAH!

 

[busybody..]

Try a

personality transplant

 

[curious2c]

City Council? Board of Education? Mayor? Professional Wrestling? Movies with Monkeys?

I'm serious. I've always wanted to go into politics, but I have no resume, and I don't know where to start. Congress is my real goal. Maybe I should team up with Cher for a while...

If Congress is your goal then you need to get an office and then a bunch of volunteers. Most of the volunteers need to be young people...around eighteen to twenty year olds. Then you need to practice your moves and sayings on them. When you are fucking over half of them you will be ready for office.

I wouldn't reccomend anything less than a State office such as your State house or senate. Then you can become govenor...then in the true Clinton tradition...with the help of a few secret societies and some good ol boys...bingo...you are the president.