I am in a relationship with a great man, but I want to be dominated. unfortunetly, he is not very interested in being my master... so I am looking for any help that might convince him to just TRY being dominant. He is normally very open to things like this, but he just wont listen to me. I would appreciate any help you might be able to give me!
i want my partner to be my master
- Thread starter angylfyre
- Start date
wolf2002
Moderator
- Joined
- May 13, 2002
- Posts
- 1,500
angylfyre said:
It's not that easy, I am afraid, if your partner is not receptive... best way IMO is little steps at a time... perhaps you can seduce him into some light bondage, blindfolding, anal sex... carefully let him know you like to be spanked once in a while... suggest him to invent assignments for you... coerce him into Topping you, submit to him in the sweetest manner...
Good luck!
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
You aren't alone, there are plenty of men out there that want no part of it. This question gets asked about every three months, and I'm sure you'll get the standard answers, but the truth is, you can lead your man to the flogger, but you can't make him flog.
And using Master might be scaring him off. Make up a list of ways you want to please him, and read it off to him and see if there is some middle ground.
And using Master might be scaring him off. Make up a list of ways you want to please him, and read it off to him and see if there is some middle ground.
landcruisergal
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2003
- Posts
- 2,022
Patience...my b/f always was a bit left of centre.I gave him a few shoves; bought a few vids and discussed them.Read to him from my books.Took him to a shibari workshop.He will never be my "master" as he also has a liking now for cbt and I havent quite worked out how to play bottom AND clamp someones genitals...but its fun and now he's even made a St Andrews Cross. I couldnt go the TPE as I consider him an equal partner,( I have another gentleman who satisfies that need) but he can "top" me anyday.
Phoenix Stone
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2004
- Posts
- 1,292
Yup, there's a lot of that around here. Me, too. Some things that helped him find his Inner Dom -- read this forum: http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html and read the other suggested readings at the bottom. Just switch the genders. Letting him know, via moaning etc. how much you enjoy this kind of things by responding a lot when he does anything even vaguely and remotely in this direction can encourage him to go farther. My partner loves my enthusiasm so much that it was easy to entice him step by step further. We are still working on it.
Good luck and come back! Let's exchange ideas!
Good luck and come back! Let's exchange ideas!
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2000
- Posts
- 1,657
I have been told that my ideas in that respect have been usefull for some people in a similar situation (admittedly mainly with reversed genders but I am sure it works either way) .. so:
The Realm of Hecate
you may find some inspiration in the essays and maybe in some of the links to older discussion in this forum.
Hope it works out for you
Hecate
The Realm of Hecate
you may find some inspiration in the essays and maybe in some of the links to older discussion in this forum.
Hope it works out for you
Hecate
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2002
- Posts
- 42,431
Don't do it.
Kajira Callista
Empty
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2003
- Posts
- 19,348
Not to put a damper on things but here is the other side of the coin. I tried to explain and gently lead my husband in that direction. We are now divorced because of it. Some men just dont have that desire and truely cant understand a person who does so if you value your marriage, be careful.
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21,732
I could not work it with a vanilla partner who, under a lot of mellow trappings, is probably Dom, like me.
But, you have to weigh how important this is to you, versus everything else.
Eventually, this was who I was and it wasn't going to change. I could either live miserably or give myself a chance to not live miserably.
If it's do or die, it's worth some risk.
Not every man is a secret Dom or even Top.
But, you have to weigh how important this is to you, versus everything else.
Eventually, this was who I was and it wasn't going to change. I could either live miserably or give myself a chance to not live miserably.
If it's do or die, it's worth some risk.
Not every man is a secret Dom or even Top.
we've been talking about this for a very long time... we met online, and what attracted me to him was him being dom.. he said he would be, but now that we are together he wants NO part of it! gah! i've wanted to do this for many years, but was never able to find anyone. oh well... lol! hes worth the little things i guess i suppose i just have to be patient.
i suppose i just have to be patient.
Phoenix Stone
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2004
- Posts
- 1,292
angylfyre said:we've been talking about this for a very long time... we met online, and what attracted me to him was him being dom.. he said he would be, but now that we are together he wants NO part of it! gah! i've wanted to do this for many years, but was never able to find anyone. oh well... lol! hes worth the little things i guess
Uh, I'm sorry to be negative but I'm not sure I'd hold out hope in that situation. You corresponded and met based on the understanding that this was his interest but now that you're getting together he's backed off? Not knowing much about your situation this may be unfair but... it sounds more like he was -- how do I put this gently? -- a guy who wanted a relationship and thought offering domness might give him an edge in the market. Guess that wasn't very gentle. Just seems odd that if you started out talking bdsm, he'd back off in rl, if that was really his interest. Has he dommed before?
no, he hasnt done much in this area. he has done alittle since ive been here with him, but its mostly been a silly little game he uses to spice up his sex life. which is irritating since i dont want a little game to play every once in a while... but i guess its a start.
redelicious
Bedroom Bottom
- Joined
- May 21, 2002
- Posts
- 12,939
angylfyre said:
It's only a start if being a Master is really something he sees himself being in the future. It's not something that you can talk someone into.
There's nothing wrong with doing the D/s thing to spice up ones sex life, unless one partner wants more (or less).
Did you move in with the guy or are you just there visiting? If this really is something you need maybe it's not to late to cut your losses. I know that may be a terrible thing to say, but it does sound like he wasn't completely honest about what he wanted or could offer.
Phoenix Stone
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2004
- Posts
- 1,292
Lawler said:
'welcome. herecomestherain on the 'how to' forum turned me on to it. Here's another from someone else: castlerealm.com Look especially for the article by Jade titled: Dom me, dammit! (and i really mean it this time!)
Can you take turns? No switch tendencies between you? Hire a friend?
My dh has no subbie tendencies as it turns out but does use his powers to evilly trick me into being forceably adored from time to time. Most provoking.
