I want a dom

[Gutterslut]

I want a dom.. but how?

I tried having a dom, and he went psycho on me..
So now im looking for a new one.. i really would enjoy it.. and see, im new to it, so i really dont know all about it.. but what i do know, im very very very extremely interested in.
Im not a leader, i like to listen and obey someone.. and its hard for me to do stuff on my own.. i like someone who tells me what to do
Does that sound like I can handle it? I hope so, cause i really wanna learn more, and experience it
I hope someone lets me know something that can help me out

 

[cymbidia]

Do you want a dom or a top?
What about the sadistic angle?
What kind of sub are you - or are you a bottom?
Do you just want the play or the whole D/s relationship?

What do you have to offer this dominant?

There's a lot to BDSM.
Read.
Read more.
Think.
Think more.
Ask questions.
Find out who *you* are within the skin of your needs.

Why would a real dom want you if you don't know who you are and what you have to offer, what you have that's of value and worth?

Why would you want just "a dom"?
Shouldn't he be a really special person in your life?
Why not rachet it down a little, slow it down, think about it all a bit?

You've got forever to do this stuff - think it through first. Discover a few truths about who you are and what you need and what you have to offer. Then go looking for a dominant who matches what you are and need and can give. They're all gonna "go psycho" on you if you don't know who they are and what they want and if you match at all before you begin playing.

Slow it down.
Get into the basics, first.
Then find someone who matches you.
Then do the kinky fucking.

 

[RainCrow]

I would say do as MUCH research as you can. This site is a good place to get information... but actually explore in other places (I mean sites/books/local bdsm clubs) as well when you do you research. You need to find who you are. And with time you will grow. I know when I came of age I was in a hurry to experience it ALL, ALL at once. I got myself into some situations with supposed "Doms" where I to this day don't know how the hell I got out of them. All I can say to you is DO NOT BE HASTY about anything. Be smart, be wise, and if you are unsure about ANYTHing ask someone.

I know one thing that really helped me out is becoming friends with a Dom 'straight' female, she took me under her wing. She showed me the ropes, who to look for to stay away from, and who was genuine.

 

[Shadowsdream]

slow baby steps into the BDSM lifestyle..whether it is the complete TPE...24/7 or weekend play that you seek goes for both new submissives and new Dominants whether you are 18 or 58.

Study..Learn..ask questions...self discover..savour the journey from the first second it becomes a thought until the first moment you touch reality.

Dom/mes and submissives must know who they are...what they need..and what they have to offer. It is a form of dishonesty in its most basic form to give what you don't have.

People get hurt emotionally and sometimes physically by rushing into situations that they are not ready for or unable to live up to.

The journey can be beautiful or traumatic and filled with tears....the choice lies in the hands of the one on the path...go slow and increase your chances of experiencing the beauty...speed and you will almost inevitably experience the tears of frustration and emotional agony.