I Wanna Write. But I Don't Wanna.

[bashfullyshameless]

I'm in one of those career fields wherein society essentially expects you to be a saint. The hours are good (until you have to start taking work home with you), but it can suck your life away. The pay is crap, though everyone knows that going in. The sense of responsibility is huge. The good days are wonderful, and I never once doubt the value of what I do... but there are also pointless, stupid confrontations that crop up unexpectedtly with people who think they can just dump on me without consequence--and sadly, often, they're right. It's a lot to carry home. (I know, join the club, right?)

Lately, I come home, try to get settled... and quickly lose at least two hours transitioning from work to being at home. I want to get right to writing, because I have things I want to write and I want to have them done so people can read them (and so I can get better), but yeah, it's at least two hours before I can get on it.

Then it's time for dinner. And to call my girlfriend, who's in school a couple thousand miles away for a few more weeks. And then I try to get writing. But then my stomach is quite full from dinner and it makes me lethargic, and my TV and my PlayStation is *right there* with Skyrim already loaded, and this Internet thing is just chock full of Robot Chicken clips and free porn...

...and it gets really hard to write.

Plus, I want my writing to be good. I've been blessed with positive reactions to my stuff here, and with the stuff I've self-published. So I want to live up to the expectations of my readers, and the standards I've set. And that's frustrating, because I didn't take Literotica seriously when I started (sorry, guys, I really didn't). I just figured I'd write some shit about fistfights and some semi-witty dialogue and fantasies about lots of fucking, right? I mean, hell, there are hardly any car chases at all on this site, so I'll stand out just for that, won't I?

But then you get into it, and you want it to make sense. And you wonder if what you're writing is gonna be of any interest to anyone other than yourself, or if it's just a snooze-fest and you don't even know it yet.

I got 1500 words in last night. I'm not really sure if I actually had a net gain the night before, because all I got done was a rearranging of what I'd written on the night before that, which I think was something like 1500. And I wanna hit that again tonight, but so far I'm only at around 350.

I wanna write. But man. Being a writer is WORK.

But thank you all for being here, because at least I know I'm not alone in any of this.

(Except the fistfights. You guys seriously need more of those.)

 

[CarlusMagnus]

I got 1500 words in last night. I'm not really sure if I actually had a net gain the night before, because all I got done was a rearranging of what I'd written on the night before that, which I think was something like 1500. And I wanna hit that again tonight, but so far I'm only at around 350.

You aren't doing so badly. You started posting stories at about the same time I did, and you have roughly as many up as I do. And your readers seem to like your stuff.

Maybe it'll help you feel better if you can stop thinking of "rearranging" as unproductive or no "net gain". What you are really doing is editing and rewriting—and those are integral parts of producing something readers will enjoy. The first pass at getting words lined up is just that—the first pass. I usually need several.

I wanna write. But man. Being a writer is WORK.

It is not only WORK; it is hard work. Hang in there!

 

[RodenAddison]

Most of my writing time is spent just letting my mind wander. I try not to think too hard about being sure I'm 'on plot' and try to just let things develop. Of course, I have an idea of where I'm going, but how I get there is a process of discover.

Also, I don't edit while I write.

 

[CarlusMagnus]

You aren't doing so badly. You started posting stories at about the same time I did, and you have roughly as many up as I do. And your readers seem to like your stuff.

Maybe it'll help you feel better if you can stop thinking of "rearranging" as unproductive or no "net gain". What you are really doing is editing and rewriting—and those are integral parts of producing something readers will enjoy. The first pass at getting words lined up is just that—the first pass. I usually need several.



It is not only WORK; it is hard work. Hang in there!

Oh, yeah! I forgot to add that it's time-consuming!

 

[johneb87]

completely understand

My friend, I'm right there with you. For years I have avoided writing like the plague, I absolutely hated it. However, after reading a very good sci-fi series here on Lit, an idea started rattling around in my head. Realizing that writing was the only feasible medium to share my idea (don't have the resources for a movie and my drawing skills are crap), I emailed the author a test story and got a good response. I then proceeded to start on "New Life in a New World".

I'm like a freight train when it comes to writing, it takes me forever get comfortable enough to sit down and write for a long period of time. Once I am writing, sometimes it's hard for me to stop. But, when I do stop it's impossible for me to start back up again. So many times I've gotten hung up on a single sentence because I could not figure out how to transition to the next. Trying to find the right word or phrase can become frustrating.

I still have not found the "love" of writing yet, still feels like a chore to me. But the positive reactions on my stories are one of the few things that keep me going. As long as readers continue to like my work, I'll keep writing.

So I can certainly tell you, you're not alone.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Half the battle is loving what you do. If the love isnt there find what you do love, and do it.

 

[Anomandaris]

Well, if it helps, I love your work. You are one of the inspirations for me to start writing my own stories, along with several of my other favorite Lit authors.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have a friend who dictates her work, while commuting to and from work.

She writes very explicit sex, too-- personally, I can't imagine being able to do that, get to work and suddenly go from screaming orgasms to business-- likewise the transition on the way home. But she does. She says that it's become pavlovian-- she gets behind the wheel and turns into a motormouth!

 

[Anomandaris]

I have a friend who dictates her work, while commuting to and from work.

She writes very explicit sex, too-- personally, I can't imagine being able to do that, get to work and suddenly go from screaming orgasms to business-- likewise the transition on the way home. But she does. She says that it's become pavlovian-- she gets behind the wheel and turns into a motormouth!

That sounds hawt. Just sayin'...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZclddLcOYYA

The national feral democrat anthem applies to writing too.

 

[lovecraft68]

I just want to toss out there, that when you said you didn't get much done besides rearranging what you already wrote?

Well that's writing! Anything you do to further things along is positive. The night before you got your basics down and then you spent time making it better. Any forward progress is progress.

 

[mynameisben]

I have a friend who dictates her work, while commuting to and from work.

She writes very explicit sex, too-- personally, I can't imagine being able to do that, get to work and suddenly go from screaming orgasms to business-- likewise the transition on the way home. But she does. She says that it's become pavlovian-- she gets behind the wheel and turns into a motormouth!

There was a woman I knew, years ago, who did the exact same thing, dictating explicit sex scenes into a microphone on her way to and from work. Competition was rather fierce in those days, but I did my best to grab a seat on the RTD bus as close to hers as possible in hopes of rubbing elbows with a real author of erotica. After months of trying, I finally scored a seat directly across the aisle from her. It was worth the effort. Not only could I hear every filthy word she breathed into the microphone, I caught taste of the subtle nuances of the little sighs and whimpers in her dictation that I'd never heard before.

It was with shattering disillusionment that I discovered her microphone cord was plugged into a folded newspaper concealed beneath a blanket she spread across her lap. It was the National Enquirer, no less.

 

[PayDay]

I have a friend who dictates her work, while commuting to and from work.

She writes very explicit sex, too-- personally, I can't imagine being able to do that, get to work and suddenly go from screaming orgasms to business-- likewise the transition on the way home. But she does. She says that it's become pavlovian-- she gets behind the wheel and turns into a motormouth!

That sounds hawt. Just sayin'...

Vouch.

also:

http://www.paulvernonchester.com/images/Violin/timkliphuissmall.jpg